Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Going Through Depression

I don't know why, but I am feeling very down today. Jessica and Edna both did their best to get me out of it. No luck. We've had no more problems with ice and snow, so the weather can't be the cause.

I just did not feel like getting out of bed this morning. Have you ever had dreams so wonderful, you did not want to wake up because that would mean the end of the dream?

I really can't complain. I am well off financially, I now have a beautiful and caring girlfriend who loves me, a fantastic housemaid, 2 beautiful horses I love to ride and just spend time with, a gorgeous dog and a few wonderful rescue cats. What more could a man want?

Well, after several bottles of wine I feel gutsy enough to tell you.

I saw HER again.... I have been seeing her in my mirrors since I was.... well, since I can remember. She is just as much a part of my life as my own mother. She is just an illusion, I know. Though I have no idea what is wrong with my brain that I see the same woman over and over again. I have been to psychiatrists, I have been tested for all sorts of brain anomalies. Nothing has been found.

It's not just SEEING her, either... it's the feelings that come along with her image! Like I know her, yet we never met.

This really messes me up!

Don't tell me to seek help... I have. No one has an answer!

On a brighter note I got Jess to take a pole dancing class. hahahaha