Saturday, February 22, 2014

Truth or Dare?

I rolled over this morning and Jessica wasn't there. I felt something was wrong, so I got up, threw on my robe (by the time I get up, Edna is there. Though she has caught me in some of the most awkward of situations, I never deliberately prance around the house in my birthday suit).

I found Jessica in the parlor, tinkering on my grand piano. She plays quite well and I help her learn whenever I can. She stopped playing when she saw me.

Then she told me that Edna had talked to her, told her the Lady in the Mirror thing was real... at least in MY mind! Edna is one of the few I have ever told this secret to (and now to anyone who reads this blog)... Edna knows the whole truth and all the details behind it, so she was able to convince Jess that it's pretty normal for me to drink a LOT after I see this girl. Wouldn't you??

I once thought I was schizophrenic, so I went to a psychiatrist. Other than having bouts depression ...and withdrawal from people... that sometimes accompany the "delusion," I really had no sign that I was schizophrenic. So, I withdraw away and drink!

I don't think Jess  believes me... But then, no one does. They still think it's some sort of mental illness that creates delusions of this woman I see at random times in mirrors. But, nothing solid has ever been concluded. And she does NOT go away with drinking, or drugs. I have seen her when I was smashed, high, about to pass out from whatever drug I had used that day (No, I don't do any drugs like that anymore. I have enough issues... Nowadays, it's wine and lighter liquors (some call me a "chick-drink drunk"). I limit myself to 2 bottles a day of a light wine when I am working. No heavy alcohol, maybe a bit of weed. No heavy stuff. I figure I will live longer that way.

Anyway, Jessica and I had a long talk. I told her the truth about having seen this delusion since I can remember, so it can't be attributed to substance abuse of any kind.

She asked me, "why didn't you tell me this earlier?"
I said back, "Would you have believed me?"

So, it looks like all is forgiven. I wonder if she thinks I am crazy. Join the club, Jessica.