Thursday, September 25, 2014

Belgian Beauties

We're in Belgium now, half way through our European tour. I absolutely love Belgian women. They come in all different shapes, sizes, colors and flavors. Yum. Nothing like waking up to one of those.


On the other hand.... I have a bottle of wine. No, seriously.... My hotel room has these big mirrors, and everyone knows I try to avoid them as much as possible... in case I see "her."  No, not HER in the photo above (she was fun to SEE)... her!  The Mirror Lady.  Yes, I am insane... so arrest me for it already, but stop talking about it. The media has so much fun with it, so I play around with them. 

(media) "It is rumored that you're schizophrenic."
"Yes, I see a woman... No, I am not schizo."
"Does she follow you around?"
"I'm a rock star... women follow me everywhere.."
Silence. And then... 
"But those women are real. Do you see fake women?"
"Every time I go into a clothing store. They model clothing."
Flushed. "No, I meant women who are not really there."
"In a clothing store? I think Tinkerbell goes to the doll section to get her knickers."
Sighing, "Mr. Bainbridge, why do you hate mirrors?"
"Because they reflect images."
(by this time the reporter is so off his or her roster, they just ask whatever comes to mind). "So...um... you see the image of women in mirrors?"
"If there are women at parties, and there are mirrors, and I look, I see them."
"But... don't you see women in mirrors that are not there?"
"It's very difficult to see anyone in a mirror if the mirror is not there."
(by this time they've discovered their mistake)
"Err..Um... I meant do you see women that are not really there reflected in mirrors?"
"Not women, no."
"Men?"
"Just myself."
"One woman?"
"I love all women! As long as they're gorgeous and will sleep with me..!"

Usually, around this point, they start talking music and about the band..! hahaha


Don't you hate when you sleep with some gorgeous fashion model and she snaps a photo as you wake up?

Next up on the tour... Austria! Who will be my conquest there?