So... I had a long talk with Jessica today. I explained to her that what I said was the truth. I really do see this Mirror Lady.... it's random, but it's been happening my entire life. Maybe I am mentally ill, I don't know. But when I see her, I can't control the emotions. I become lost and confused. I feel things I am not accustomed to feeling.
She forgave me last night's discrepancy. I can't blame her for having trouble understanding. Would you? I took her out for a fancy dinner so we could talk in public, over a nice setting. I was so nervous, I could barely eat. I really like Jess, and want her to be happy.
I swore to her it is all true. I am still not sure if she believes me or not. She said she believed that I believed it... isn't that a euphemism for "I don't really believe you, I think you are nuts"???
Since we arrived home, I have had 3 bottles of wine and 2 slippery nipples. I know.... I drink too much. Kinda hard to avoid when you see one woman in your mirrors and a "real" women is right there in front of you...ready to have a life with you. I feel like I am being torn in 2 directions. Ripped in half. Trust me, it is not a good feeling.
It will be nice to get away on tour and leave all this bullshit behind me. Plenty of women on tour... None that have expectations beyond the carnal!