Not much better today! I tried to get involved in working on my music, but my brain just refuses to cooperate. Drank a bottle of wine and am working on a glass of brandy, and still...nothing. Everything inside is like scrambled eggs that are extra scrambled.
I had better get it together. We have what we call a "pre-tour" coming up. Basically, it's a shortened version of a real tour. We do that when we want to try out new music on an audience without wasting time traveling the world. Instead of mixing old and new, we play only the newest music to smaller crowds at small venues around the mid and southeast. This way we get live feedback on what works and what doesn't. I don't know any other bands that do this, but it works for us. It's not long, so it takes little money and the gigs are short without our elaborate stage set, so ticket prices are low. It gives those who may not get to see us in the larger venues a chance.
Generally, I am excited to get on the road in any capacity, but even today I just couldn't seem to find enjoyment in that! I think this is called depression. All I wanted to do today was lounge around in front of the fireplace with my dog and cats, munch on nachos, and forget the world existed. I know, depressing, huh?
Edna kept bringing me food, saying "Nachos are no good for ya!" She even allowed me my favorite tuna sandwich.
I can't believe tomorrow is the last day of the year! Another year come and gone and what have I done? Same old same old. Look at other guys my age (that aren't rock stars that is)... Many are married. Hell, even Bruce is married, and he's our lead guitarist! But me, I have no interest in settling down. I have not even called Jessica.
Seeing HER... the mystery woman... two days ago, has not left me. Though I have "known" her my whole life, for some reason her presence grows stronger in my heart. I don't know how else to explain it. I know I am crazy and belong locked up, but when I have not seen her for awhile, life almost seems to appear normal. And then I see her. The mixed up emotions get stronger each time and it takes longer and longer to get over her. Yet, I can't tell anyone.
I had better get back on my game tomorrow. The songs for the pre-tour and ensuing album are coming up soon.