Saturday, January 18, 2014

Pre-Tour and Band Pranks

Sorry for the long wait in writing. The band is busy with our "pre-tour." Everyone knows by now that Bruce, the born-again buzz kill, has banned fans from our tour bus! At least when he is in it. ha ha.

Anyway, as we cruise down 64 in West Virginia, by now all the other band members are asleep, I have a bit of a story to tell you all, my great and loyal fans. Yeah, ok, so I have had a few drinks. Trust me, it gets me through and helps me sleep. At least I avoid drugs, like Meth or Heroin. What's wrong with a couple Slippery Nipples (haha, I can think of some damn good things I can do with nipples)....?

Yesterday, after we finished with our small concert (which, by the way got a raving reception. Our new songs are getting grand reviews), and headed back out on the road (sometimes these "pre-tours" (Bruce's idea) can be more pain-staking than the real thing... we don't stay, we don't stop). It's rather like touring when we were a small band trying to make our way in music. Grueling!

Anyway, I decided since Bruce was remaining in the venue to go over some instrumentals and choral review with the others, I'd slip back to the tour bus with the latest hottie I met at the concert. I tend to like dark hair, unlike most who love the bleached blondes. I like all natural (no fake boobs, thank you). She seemed nice enough. Her name.... oh damn, I can't remember.

Anyway, I brought her to my bunk, intending on a bit of "release" after the concert when I saw something on my bunk that was not mine. Adrian's damn technological reading machine called a "Kindle." It was on and open to some book about a whore of 80's rock.... open to the chapter on this 15 year old chick losing her virginity in 1980 to Billy Squire.A quick peak told me this girl had screwed just about ever musician in the 1980's.

Kinda put a damper on my evening. I don't know yet what Adrian was trying to prove. I tossed the reading machine back in HIS bunk and had a really good time with... oh damn....what was her name...? 

Once back on the road, Adrian explained to me that this book had reminded him of me on the road... any girl at any "port."  I told him I was fine and needed no intervention. My sex life was just fine, thank you. It was then he reminded me of Jessica. She and I had hit it off pretty well and we were, well, dating. But, she wasn't there and I saw no reason not to indulge. We weren't married after all.

Would you say no??