Hello Fans, it's Me -- Stephan. So Many Theories Behind Dane's Disappearance

Hello Dark Myst and Dane Bainbridge fans, readers of this blog. This is Stephan Gale. I have not written on this blog until now due to the fact that this has been very hard on me, as I see Bruce mentioned in an earlier post.

You see, though it seems stupid, I persuaded Dane to start this blog. For some strange reason, that's kept me from typing in it. Made me feel like I was stepping on Dane's personal space or something. But, my buddy has been missing over 3 weeks now, the police have given up the search because the trail is cold, as they said. They are convinced he up and left, but they don't know Dane as I do. He would never do that! Those of us who know him best are certain of it.

And I am certain we will see him again. I just feel it! I can't speculate on where he went. Dane has never said a word to me to indicate he would go anywhere. But here is what I do know... and this is not new news, as the police and detectives have questioned all of us on everything, especially me since Dane and I are closest personally rather than only professionally. The night of the concert in MN last month, Bruce said he saw someone in one of the mirrors onstage. I didn't see her, I was faced away and didn't look until I heard the squeal of the amps when Dane dropped his mic. By that time, I turned to see my friend disappear into the heavy smoke machine fog. I threw off my bass and ran over.

Bruce admitted he saw this girl in the mirror onstage! Police thought he was seeing someone from the audience but he insisted she was ONLY in the mirror! Detectives assume a crazed fan took Dane... or that he ran off with her. Bruce said something about thinking this girl may be behind Dane's disappearance in some way, but he wasn't sure Dane took off with her voluntarily. Apparently, Bruce told Dane after the concert that he saw this girl.

Like I said, I didn't see her, but Bruce said she just vanished. I guess there were people behind the mirrors but none of them looked like her and no one saw her. They all said they saw just the back of a big mirror. No one saw anyone go by, nothing. Especially not a woman dressed the way Bruce claimed. Our fans can at times have some interesting dress codes, but nothing like that. I would think she would have been noticed, and Bruce insists on it.

Personally, I think there's something about her that is behind Dane's disappearance. Is this some elaborate prank someone has played? I don't know. I would think nothing of the image in that mirror if it weren't for the fact Bruce saw her. Bruce makes up nothing! WTF??

Mostly, the detectives say they think he ran away with this girl. They all say because there's zero evidence of any foul play,  and because he's a rock star (which, by their terms means unstable), and by the amount of booze bottles found in his house they think he's an alcoholic or something, so they say he just decided to go on a wild trip somewhere. Um, no! Dane wouldn't just up and leave.

Somehow, I have to find this girl. Based on a description from Bruce, the police have come up with a sketch of her, though they have no leads on who she is or where she might be.  One of their theories is that Dane ran off with her. They apparently don't know him as I do.

Anyway, this is the sketch.

police sketch of the woman who Dane apparently ran away with! Yeah right!

Jesus, I have seen better sketches by 5 year olds! Not much to go on...

Anyway, it's "sketchy" what she looks like. Bruce (and apparently, Dane) saw her, but so far no one else has. The police are interviewing a LOT of people in this case. So far, Bruce is the only one admitting he saw her, but Dane obviously did too. Apparently, he was staring at her when he collapsed. What is this--some sort of fucking fantasy novel?? How can a woman be there, yet not exist? I wish I had seen her, I have a feeling it would give me more information. But I have none, and it is frustrating the crap out of me!

OMG Dane... where are you?

Some pics I found on Dane's computer....

Dane with a rescue cat. Not one of his. He's a cat guy.

Some party. I am not sure where this was taken.

Wasted at some party. What else is new?

Here's one of me I found on Dane's computer.

Please keep positive vibes going for Dane's safe return.
Thank you!
Stephan Gale
South Carolina, January 2015

Post from Bruce Tomkin. MISSING!

I am sure by now most have heard the news that Dane has gone missing and no one knows where he is. It was in the Aiken news, as well as all over the world, I am sure. I have not been watching, as all of us are very concerned.

I did not even know he was keeping up with this blog until I came here to his home yesterday and saw it open on his laptop. I looked through it to see if there is any clue as to Dane's whereabouts, but it says nothing and gives no hints. I decided since his fans read this, I would put up this post on Dane's blog in order to reach out to all. If anyone has any clues, please let us know!

All I can tell you is that when his maid, Edna came to work yesterday morning, Dane was not here. She said his cars were in the garage, nothing was touched. The house doors were locked from the inside and no windows were broken. Police said they saw no signs of a struggle of any kind.

I can't really tell you any more than his blog already has. He stated he was going for a ride on one of his horses, despite the rain. But both horses were stabled. The stable hand who cares for the animals stated to police that she saw signs Camelot had been ridden by some "unbrushed sweat marks on his back." but, she said, all the tack was hung up and in its usual place, so that rules out the chance he had fallen and was lying in a ditch somewhere. In any event, there is a massive search on in Aiken and especially around the area of Hitchcock Woods near his house. They are fingerprinting everything, and I had to get special permission just to post on his computer.

They have scoured the house thoroughly. The police said it looks like he had showered and shaved, and they found a recently used towel in his bedroom. Otherwise, he's just--gone!

I have to tell you we are all very worried. We had rescheduled our tour for January, after Dane's collapse onstage this month. And I have to be honest, I wonder if there's any connection to the woman I saw in that mirror onstage before Dane collapsed and his going missing, though I cannot imagine how that would be. Having spoken to Dane about it, this is not a new occurrence for him.

For now, we cannot even speculate on what might have happened to him. We are just hoping he shows up (alive, please), and this is some strange misunderstanding.

--Bruce Tomkin, Aiken, SC

Talk About a Buzzkill!

What a day! I was up super early because I had one HELL of a nightmare last night. I don't even want to talk about it!

The entire day I felt like a zombie... or a Walker, if you watch the Walking Dead. Have you ever had a really terrible dream that refused to let go of you all the next day? The rain did not help! Around noon sometime Wolfe barked and my cat jumped off my lap. To be honest, I didn't even know he was ON my lap! I was that out of it! Maybe I am still exhausted, as the doctor had said?

I went over to the monitor to see who dared disturb my misery. Some chick was outside my gate. She was quite attractive... black hair, busty, long legs. Yep! So, I opened the gate!  It was time to get my ass out of the slump. A good roll in the sack is always a pick-me-up.

Her name was Dalia... a Georgia peach! Lovely. She'd brought with her a gift for me, a get well card with a poem inside she had written. It was all about this love she felt for me. Yeah yeah... they all do. I got her a glass of wine. Just the thing to warm her up on this chilly and wet winter day.

As it turned out, she didn't need much warming up. She wasted NO time in finding her way into my jeans. Oh yeah! There's was only one major problem! She wanted to be in my bedroom... on my bureau... the one with the huge antique mirror! WTF.

My favorite opera was playing... (Yes, I like certain operas)... Carl Orff's Carmina Burana. I somehow feel I can relate to this opera.  The words, man... it's CRAZY! If you know archaic Latin you will get it!

“O Fortuna, velut luna, statu variabilis, semper crescis, aut decrescis, vita detestabilis, nunc obdurate, et tunc curat, ludo mentis aciem, egestatem, potestatem, dissolvit ut glaciem, Sors immanis.”

O Fortune, Like the moon, You are changeable, Ever waxing, Ever waning, Hateful life, First oppresses, And then it soothes, As fancy takes it. Poverty. And power, It melts them like ice.”

And not just the first act, either. Listen to that entire opera. It's powerful!

That ended and the Scorpion's "Rock You Like a Hurricane" pounded through the mansion. Have you ever banged during that song? I have written several songs with the same power-beat, but that song is the king of all sex music!

I had Dalia's ass on the dresser, I was so close...her warmth was right there!!!  Then You-Know-Who had to arrive just in time! Yep The Mirror Lady killed my boner! Talk about a buzzkill. Hadn't she tortured me enough by showing up onstage and killing our tour???  WHY CAN'T SHE JUST FUCKING GO AWAY???!!! Ok, big breath.

Dalia wasn't exactly happy. That was it. The end of any amourous encounter today. Sucks! I had to escort her out without explanation. This is frustrating. These illusions are destroying my sex life! Maybe I need to get on some sort of medication or something!!

After that, several drinks were in perfect order! Vodka... Rum... Wine.... anything I could find. I'm still messed up, but at least the alcohol kills the reality of what has happened--of my LIFE!

Merry fucking Christmas, Dane!!

For our fans, always a few tour pics, though the tour was cut short, I try not to disappoint.

Bruce looks like hell. He's all worried about his wife!

Adrian relaxing on the bus.

Not a Normal Life

It's not like my life has ever been normal. But today pushed the boundaries of that normalcy beyond even my limits. Since the Jag is still laid up, I took the Ferrari out to that new music and book store I told you about previously. Of course, since today was the release of our latest CD, which stupid me forgot because Bruce the slave driver has me working furiously on this new song, I walked into this store unprepared. A storm was brewing. Then I walked in and found my own face right smack in front of me on one of those cardboard displays, but what was worse... the huge TV displaying one of our music videos in concert. Ugh. I generally would disguise myself with brown contacts and my hair up in a baseball cap. All I wanted was a book for Christ's sake. A little time to be a human.

I ran to the back of the store to the History Department. Anyone who knows me knows how I love to read history books.  I didn't even think, I just grabbed some leather bound book off the shelf to hide my face. I still felt like I was being watched!

Long story short, this old lady accused me of being dead!! How the hell can I be dead when I am right here?? I guess I resembled some guy she knew back long before I was born! WTF!

After leaving the store, in my car, I thought I saw "her" in the rear view mirror, but when I looked, I saw only myself. Phew.

To make a strange day even stranger, I bought that book and went home to finish working. After being reprimanded for my tardiness on getting this song done, Bruce left.  Christ, the tour isn't for another month! And it's a short tour.  But Bruce is so on edge because his wife is so close to her due date. He nearly snapped my head off, though, when I mentioned postponing the tour. He wouldn't have it.

I finally was able to relax in my library with my dog and read.  What the hell happened after that, I can't explain very well. Words can't compare. I read a passage about some knight way back in the 17th century in England.  I got dizzy, and the strangest feelings came over me. I swear I had only one glass of wine. Nothing else!

There's something in my life that is complicated and cannot be explained through rational means. I just do not yet know what it is. The rest is such a blur. Now you know why I feel that I am crazy and keep much of this stuff hidden. I've been lucky the media doesn't find this blog or they'd have a field day. Not that rock stars aren't well known for being nuts, but this is a whole different type of crazy.

Some weird revelation came to me tonight about that knight I read about in the book. But, it must be just my imagination playing tricks, right? I was in my room when it came to me. After, I went down to the kitchen for a glass of wine! Now, it's after 2 am and I need sleep!

Welcome to the bazaar life of Dane!!!

New Book Store, Life on the Road and Sex

Sex always gets people reading. I can't blame them. It's the greatest thing on earth. But y'a ll already know who I am and that, besides music, my next biggest hobby is sex.

And I love to read. Especially history books. Well, tomorrow is the grand opening of a new music and bookstore here in S.C. (despite the bad weather of late. T-Storms today, lots of flash flood warnings). It also happens to be the release date of Dark Myst's new CD. I plan to visit the store for some new books. With a few tour dates coming up,  I will need some reading material. The others get on my ass about the amount of books I bring on the bus, but I have not embraced those 21st century e-readers yet.

This will be a complete bus tour.  It is short--a continuation of the summer's tour--only a month and a half.  I am not crazy about spending over a month on the road, new city EVERY night, not having a decent bath at a hotel. But, we won't have time for hotels in this particular tour. It's the bus all the way. Since Bruce made sure we have a brand new bus for just the four of us, I am hoping he also ordered a decent shower. I prefer baths, but one cannot be picky on the road.

Buses can have luxuries. Showers are rarely good. 

I miss home, I miss my animals, but look forward to traveling. Sometimes I get more rest on the road than I do at home. When home it's all work, recording, getting everything ready, marketing, etc. On the road, it's mostly sitting around while driving from state to state, watching movies, reading, talking, planning and playing games. You'd be surprised how much silence there can be with just the four of us on one bus. We are often engrossed in our own interests, warming up, going over songs, writing songs, texting (the others more than me), watching movies and reading (that would be me).

I spend a lot of time in my bunk, getting rest. I like to relax in there in private, curtain closed, and read or watch a movie. Or take a nap. I like to be very prepared and awake, but the drone of the road makes me tired.

Since Bruce banned fans on our bus while moving, I have to get in what I can when I can in my bunk. Not always a comfortable situation. But sex anywhere is better than none. I do prefer hotels.

Our new bus has many comforts and luxuries we didn't have before, so I am rather excited to travel in it. I have not even seen it yet. I guess there's a nice lounge in the back with a big HDTV and all the stations we could want. Good. I like to watch fantasy movies and certain TV shows. I am not a big fan of "reality TV" except this show called "My Cat From Hell" with this interesting character, who claims to be a musician by night and a cat behaviorist by day!

Well, off to bed. I have a song to finish that Bruce wants to put on the set list for the tour. I have a few changes I have to remember to the rider as well (for those who are confused, the rider is a list of those things we band members want on the road... food and such).

Check us out on tour!!!

Feeling Empty Without Her

It's 06:45 here in foggy England. I can no longer get back to sleep! I sit here on the floor with this tiny computer on my lap, drinking warm wine from last night and feeling empty inside.

I had slept fairly peacefully, until I was woken by that mother of all urges we all get in the middle of the night.... need to hit the loo.

When I came back out, however, the street lights that shone in my hotel room window revealed movement in the mirror over the dresser, and when I dared to peek, I saw her... Quickly, I snatched a robe off the chair and covered myself. Since when have I ever been shy in front of the ladies? But this one is different. I mean, where does she come from? Why is she there? What does she want? Is she really there at all, or in my mind?

As usual, I couldn't draw my stare away! She was standing in sunlight, which seemed to shine through the mirror and strike me. I could see the reddish glow along my body and even along the top of the dresser, mating with the lights from the window. Very strange. She reached her hand forward and touched the glass.... yet she was not in the room with me... as if looking at me from the other side of a window! I took a step forward and saw a tear in her eye, and why this moved me so much I still can't explain.

She was there perhaps a minute and then her image flickered and faded away. I realized I had been holding my breath! As I released it out, I felt dizzy so I slumped onto the floor, the robe in my lap. After a few moments, I grabbed this little computer and started to write this entry. Just had to get this out! My brain is boggled. I just want to sleep and feel normal again.

Heartbreak!

Jessica left me tonight!  I feel such an ache in my heart yet I understand her reasons for doing so... Such a terrible day! The band's been arguing, so much going on before our tour.... Then I come home to catch her with a man. She said he was her cousin! Yeah right. Without saying a word, I walked away and went upstairs. Jessica came up a short time later.

        “What's wrong?” she asked calmly.

        “Where is he?" I sat on the bed, staring at the door.

         “He left. I told him we needed to talk.”

         “There's nothing to say!”

        She approached me and sat about two feet away. "Dane, I’ve never seen you like this."

        I stood quickly and turned to her. “And I've never seen you with another man before!”

        She rose as well. "I told you he was my cousin. You don't believe me?"

        "Frankly. No!”

        “How dare you!” she screamed in my face. “This coming from a man who screws every woman he meets!”

What sucks most? I slapped her. I've never hit a woman and never fathomed it.

 She left a note on my mirror, the mirror in my bedroom on the antique bureau.... I am feeling so confused right now, and the 3 bottles of wine I have consumed in the last hour have taken their toll. The note is an enigma; something about looking beyond the mirror to see who I really am. Whatever that means!

Perhaps she was tired of my "Mirror Lady," whom I have seen several times this month! Perhaps it was the women she has found photos and videos of... ones recently "conquered," as I call it? What do I do now? Did I love her? I can't answer that question. Life is very complicated. Relationships even more so!

So many question, so few answers. I lose myself in wine and music now!

September 1st we go to Europe to start the next leg of our tour. Then, back to the USA in November for a few more gigs. Home at the end of December. Hopefully, this will keep my mind off Jess.

Funny thing is, here I am, world renowned, famous rock star, women want me, yet I have never felt more alone. Having delusions my entire life (that have yet to be diagnosed despite all the best therapists) doesn't help. The note Jess left me... all about mirrors, about the "Mirror Lady" and about seeing myself. I keep reading it, trying to understand what it all means.

I read about the suicide of comedian Robin Williams. He was one of my favorite comedic actors. Now I feel as if I understand why he killed himself!  I have my music, but where is it going? I have all the money I could ever want or need! I have done it all at a young age, but what do I really have? Meaningless sexcapades? Now, no one waiting for me to come home! I fear gazing into any mirror.... she confuses me. Yet I feel deeply. Something is there! She's a mere delusion. Nothing! A figment of my messed up mind.

I've been having nightmares lately... the few times I do sleep. Usually I am struggling in them, on the edge of death yet somehow hanging on! Yet I wake wondering. Why hang on? Life is too confusing! But I won't give up yet. People look up to me, though why I do not know. I am a public figure. I need to be an inspiration! You haven't a clue the pressure that puts on a person!

Beyond Every Mirror I See Her

It's hot here in South Carolina.  Not that that's unique.  Right now it's almost 3am, a steamy night,  and I'm not home.  I finally figured out how to do this blog thing on my phone.

Anyway I think I screwed up. I am truly deficient when it comes to matters of the heart. There was a party tonight and of course I went to it. Jess is still in Europe. Needless to say there was a plethora of women.  The last one just left, so I'm feeling quite satisfied. I'm in the guest bedroom. I'd usually let the young lady or ladies spend the night (love all those naked warm bodies), but I decided to sleep alone tonight. ... out of respect for Jessica.  She's the only lady I fall asleep and wake up with. What difference does it make what happened in between? She's the one who lives in my house and shares my bed at home... a privilege many many women would kill for.

I got up to hit the head and when I came back I saw another reflection on the mirror on the other side of the room.  God damn it all! I threw on the first thing I found...a pair of cotton lounge pants and a t shirt. I guess I'll sleep in this tonight.  What if she returns?  There are several mirrors in this room and even if it is dark and I am asleep I feel her. I dream of her. I know she's there. Though I am accustomed to her presence,  it can at times be disturbing.  I'm not even home. What is this? Is she beyond every mirror in the world?

Sorry, I'm all tied up right now....

Paparazzi and Sex Tapes

As they say down here in the south, I'm angry as a mule with a bur under his tail. What is it with the paparazzi and having to publish ... well, everything. Apparently, a lady fan I was "with" while out on tour videotaped us together... and the media got hold of the tape.... and published pictures from it! Okay, I admit I am quite good at my favorite recreational activity. But I have to keep this from Jess. If she sees this, she'll be the one with the bur under her tail. And I'll be in the dog house.

Yeah, that was a fun night... even though it made it into the media's hands, and I am sure the girl I was with made sure of it... brag about being with a rock star. I have news, girl. You're one in thousands! I won't say her name. Though she showed no respect for my privacy, I will respect hers. Besides, the authorities love to go after rock n rollers. We're all degenerates, you know!

Well, since Jess is still talking to me, she has obviously not seen this. It's on some obscure web site. Stephan was kind enough to point it out to me today.

Well, look at this, it's 2am and the wine is kicking in. I think I'll hit the sack (alone, as Jess is still in Europe). No fans at my house tonight so worries.

Dazed and Confused

Wow! What happened? I saw the Mirror lady again last night, late. Not sure what time. That always fucks with my brain, so I decided to go out. I drove to Atlanta (yeah, Georgia) and went bar-hopping. This is highly unlike me. I almost always get recognized and end up signing autographs and talking to a bunch of fans rather than just relaxing alone or picking up women anonymously.

And here, I drive my freaking Ferrari out to Atlanta of all places! I ended up at some fancy joint called Halo.

I actually had quite the time. As I sat there, sipping away at a Slippery Nipple, I saw a table with these two pretty ladies staring at me, so I went over. I bought them drinks and sat to chat. After a couple hours, I asked if they wanted to get out of there and they agreed.

I couldn't fit both of them in my car!  I wasn't about to bring them home... too far, and Jess was home. So, I followed them to one of their homes.

Have you ever had wild sex with two women at once? Not my first time, but damn these GA Peaches had talents. They could get into positions I didn't think possible... apparently, they're both dancers...exotic dancers.

Ok... try doing one as the other gets into this wild gymnastic-like position above her friend, so her... not sure I can use the word here.... is in your face! And after, they switched. They put to shame almost all the other women I've been with! They performed moves I didn't think possible. I believe these two read the Kama Sutra... and memorized it!! Add in plenty of booze and weed=perfect night.

Turns out, they did know who I am, but didn't want to make me uncomfortable by mentioning it. I thank them for that! Crazy night. Not sure if they invited me to stay or not, but I fell asleep (or passed out) in the bed and woke to find them on either side of me... Ahhh flesh to flesh! And more fun once we were all awake. Insatiable women are the best! Then, they made me breakfast as well!

Sex, wild sex, and even more sex, plus breakfast. It gets no better than this my friends.

Let's just say Jess was not happy when I arrived home at noon in the same clothes I left in.... I think she suspects. She knew I didn't have band practice last night, so I told her I went to Stephan's for the night. He'll back me up!

I recommend a night like that to all males out there!! It'll cure whatever may ail you. Made me forget all about the Mirror Lady! Bliss, to be able to forget my crazy delusions for a night instead of letting them drag me down as they generally do.

Communication and its Necessity

So... I had a long talk with Jessica today. I explained to her that what I said was the truth. I really do see this Mirror Lady.... it's random, but it's been happening my entire life. Maybe I am mentally ill, I don't know. But when I see her, I can't control the emotions. I become lost and confused. I feel things I am not accustomed to feeling.

She forgave me last night's discrepancy. I can't blame her for having trouble understanding. Would you? I took her out for a fancy dinner so we could talk in public, over a nice setting. I was so nervous, I could barely eat. I really like Jess, and want her to be happy.

I swore to her it is all true. I am still not sure if she believes me or not. She said she believed that I believed it... isn't that a euphemism for "I don't really believe you, I think you are nuts"???

Since we arrived home, I have had 3 bottles of wine and 2 slippery nipples. I know.... I drink too much. Kinda hard to avoid when you see one woman in your mirrors and a "real" women is right there in front of you...ready to have a life with you. I feel like I am being torn in 2 directions. Ripped in half. Trust me, it is not a good feeling.

It will be nice to get away on tour and leave all this bullshit behind me. Plenty of women on tour... None that have expectations beyond the carnal!

Can't Fight The Feeling

Not much better today! I tried to get involved in working on my music, but my brain just refuses to cooperate. Drank a bottle of wine and am working on a glass of brandy, and still...nothing. Everything inside is like scrambled eggs that are extra scrambled.

I had better get it together. We have what we call a "pre-tour" coming up. Basically, it's a shortened version of a real tour. We do that when we want to try out new music on an audience without wasting time traveling the world. Instead of mixing old and new, we play only the newest music to smaller crowds at small venues around the mid and southeast.  This way we get live feedback on what works and what doesn't. I don't know any other bands that do this, but it works for us. It's not long, so it takes little money and the gigs are short without our elaborate stage set, so ticket prices are low. It gives those who may not get to see us in the larger venues a chance.

Generally, I am excited to get on the road in any capacity, but even today I just couldn't seem to find enjoyment in that! I think this is called depression. All I wanted to do today was lounge around in front of the fireplace with my dog and cats, munch on nachos, and forget the world existed.  I know, depressing, huh?

Edna kept bringing me food, saying "Nachos are no good for ya!"  She even allowed me my favorite tuna sandwich.

I can't believe tomorrow is the last day of the year! Another year come and gone and what have I done? Same old same old. Look at other guys my age (that aren't rock stars that is)... Many are married. Hell, even Bruce is married, and he's our lead guitarist! But me, I have no interest in settling down. I have not even called Jessica.

Seeing HER... the mystery woman... two days ago, has not left me. Though I have "known" her my whole life, for some reason her presence grows stronger in my heart. I don't know how else to explain it. I know I am crazy and belong locked up, but when I have not seen her for awhile, life almost seems to appear normal. And then I see her. The mixed up emotions get stronger each time and it takes longer and longer to get over her. Yet, I can't tell anyone.

I had better get back on my game tomorrow. The songs for the pre-tour and ensuing album are coming up soon.

Dazed and Confused

I feel like a page from a Led Zeppelin memoir. "Dazed and confused for so long it's not true..." What is true and what is delusion?  "Wanted a woman, never bargained for you..." So, who did I bargain for? Jessica, whose company I enjoy, who is music to my eyes... Or HER... the mystery woman who seems to grasp hold of my heart as well as my sanity every time I see her?

I saw her again today. I really have to learn to avoid mirrors more, but it's rather hard to shave and groom oneself without that stupid reflective piece of glass!

I wasn't even home this time, however. I was with the band, recording at a studio in Charleston. I went to the little boy's room and when I was washing my hands, I looked up into the mirror.

"Aw Fresh Hell!!"

She looked beautiful. Not that exotic, big breasted beautiful like Jessica. Actually, this lady, who seems as familiar to me as seeing myself, is plain in comparison. But her extraordinary long auburn hair hung in a single braid pulled to the front and she wore a blue tunic that looked like something from a Documentary on the Middle Ages. It was belted tight over a very slender waist. As a matter of fact, she is quite petite. But, every time I see her, I am lost. I am gone. I cease to exist. I have no idea who I become, but it's not the me I am accustomed to seeing.

So, now, I have Jessica, a physical flesh and blood woman I seem to be hitting it off with quite well, and then this... delusion? But how can a man feel for a delusion? All I know is that I have some thinking to do. I don't quite know what it is I need to think about, but the confusion in my mind and the tornado of emotion running through me tell me I cannot just let this go.

Wish me luck!

Black Friday!

They call today "Black Friday." I'm not really sure why. The color black usually refers to a negative presence, like Satan and other evil mythological creatures.. Though, I wear a black stage costume as opposed to my band mates who wear variations of white. I'm the dark, they are the mist.

Anyway, it was a wonderful Thanksgiving with my parents.Until about a half hour ago, when I showered, and then was looking in the mirror to brush my teeth and SHE appeared.  I want to say that I just drank a whole bottle of wine, but that's not what caused this illusion... the wine is because I DID see her! I saw her, I started to drink. Nice thing about this holiday, there's always wine!  Christmas always carries with it spiced Egg Nog.

I don't tell anyone this, but since I do not advertise this blog, I am sure no one will see it. Not right away anyway.

Maybe this is the booze talking... but, I have a confession to make. I think it's called a delusion or hallucination. I have been seeing her in mirrors since I was ... well, I think since I was born. At least that is what it feels like. When you look into a mirror, do you see someone who is not there? Schizophrenia?

Yeah, ok... crazy rock star here. The drink makes me handle it better. Don't over-judge me. People tend to do that. I spend a goodly amount in the company of many people... all types of people. I have earned the right to judge. Yet, I can't say a bad word about my fans. If it were not for them, I wouldn't be where I am now. Yes, I drink. But, what would YOU do if you were delusional from birth and needed to hide it from public view? Is this what they call 'mental illness' or am I "special?"

Anyway, I did no work today. Vacation and all. If it is possible for a musician to NOT work! We always have songs in our head, ideas filtering about in there. I go everywhere with a notepad for writing lyrics that come into my head. I also have a recorder in case I have a tune in mind. Eventually, it becomes a song.

Back to this Black Friday... If you think I will be standing in those stores at the wee hours, just to snag a few bucks' deal, you're crazier than I am. And that is crazy!  ha ha!

Night all!