On Tour. Lonely, Though Surrounded by People

I don't write much on this anymore. I really see no point. By now, all my fans have read the news, read about my "abduction." But none know what I truly lost while I was gone all those months. For me it was mere days. For the world several months. I aged, the world aged. Yet she does not. Even if she had survived, she would be the same. My forever beauty.

Those that took me, those that tortured me, those that nearly killed me. Still, the scars they left on my body cannot compare to the scar on my heart.

The band is on tour now, traveling from one city to the next. What used to be fun, exciting, a new conquest in each city, is now just a job. A chore. There is no mirror reflecting her image, keeping the loneliness at bay!

I miss the long ginger of her hair, the scent of the wooded lands that clung to her like a welcome home. I miss talking to her, her innocence and her fascination with all the tiniest things in this world that we humans take for granted. She wanted so to see them all, to feel, smell, taste every experience this world of ours has to offer.

If I could return to her world, to change what had been. To know. To take down the threat that took her in my stead, I would try. I would succeed. And she would live on, though I would have perished. Yes, I would gladly have taken her place.

I wish I had more to offer, my dear fans. I still love you all. Bear with me. My life is upside down right now. I hope you will understand. It took months to be able to get dressed, much less leave the estate.

I finally needed to get the dirge I wrote for her out and into the public. "My Timeless Love" has become an instant hit.

I am alive. I think!

Hello fans. I have been gone a very long time, I know. I have not been out of the hospital for a long time now, and the scars of what I endured are both obvious, physically and mentally. It is hard for me to write on this blog, but I needed you all to know I am alive, I am home, in recovery. Although I must be honest and tell you I am not sure I will recover completely. I may be alive, but will never be the same.

The papers and media have already had a field day relaying their speculations on my ordeal. How much of what they said is true? We shall see. I am not yet ready to relay any details beyond what I have at present.

I am absolutely exhausted. I either sleep too much, in which the bad dreams come and wake me, preventing any real restful sleep, or I do not sleep at all.

I have to tell my female fans, out of respect, to please not come by my manor. I will not allow you inside. I really do need time alone. To myself.

I see the band has kept up on my blog and all they knew. There is a reason so many clues were missing in my disappearance. Those who took me left little behind. But, a clue I offer here; my heart was left behind. It no longer belongs to me and has perished along with the place in which I was held.

With this, I head off to bed. Oh, what I would not give for a dreamless night. But this is an impossibility!

Dane is BACK!!

This is Stephan again! I have written nothing in Dane's blog since December after he disappeared. The trail was so cold I was sure he was gone forever, no one ever knowing what had happened to him. We still do not know, and I have yet to see him, but he is back.

I moved home to my own house back in February. There was simply nothing left to look for and, although Edna is very nice, she was just too... accommodating for me. I guess she missed Dane quite a bit.

I guess I will leave the remainder of this blog to Dane, once he recovers and is out of the hospital. I am hopeful, though many express concern. He has not yet regained consciousness. The media has been all over this! Of course they have. This is big news--rock star found by housemaid, bloody and tortured, in torrential storm.  At least that is what one headline stated.

That gives a basic idea of what happened. I will not go on, as this is Dane's story to tell. Like I said, I am hopeful. At this writing, he is in the hospital in a coma. What he went through, what happened, and how they took him with leaving absolutely no trace, remains to be determined.

Here's a photo from a couple years ago...

Stephan here-- No News on Dane.

I am feeling so helpless. Today, I went to the studio in Atlanta to lay down some of the bass tracks for the latest album, but I don't think it's my best work. I cannot concentrate. At what point do you consider someone dead? Or give up on finding them?  It's been over a month. Nothing. No sign. No clues. Dane is just--gone!

Damn it. Why did I have to be the one to agree to stay here at Dane's home and take care of things? To basically live his life looking for clues as to my friend's disappearance?  Every day is harder than the day before. Though I am also learning things about my friend I never knew. And I'm hoping to find a clue within his life somewhere.

I get up in the morning (which, for me is usually around 11am), go down to the vast kitchen to find my coffee already made by Dane's housemaid, Edna (who calls him Mr. Dane). I sit at the kitchen island and drink my coffee and read the paper (apparently, Dane never read newspapers. Only history books and some novels). So, I started having the paper delivered here. 

I always have the dog and several cats for company as Edna goes about her duties managing the staff, which I counted as 3 people; two for cleaning the mansion, one for taking care of the horses--though I think that is 2 since there's weekday and weekend help. It is amazing how much help Dane relies on. Edna is sweeter than pie. She takes care of the indoor animals. She takes care of Dane. But he is not here so she has been trying to take care of me, but I am rather used to taking care of myself. She makes all his meals, cares for the cats (how many I don't know. I swear I see a new one daily), cares for the dog and manages the staff.

More fans have come by in the last weeks, both male and female. I rarely invite them in. Just the occasional hot chick. But, as time goes by, my worry is starting to effect me in other areas. I am desperately trying to find even the hint of a clue. I don't understand how someone can just...vanish!

Trying to get into Dane's head, his life. The only thing that keeps coming up is that woman both Dane and Bruce saw in the mirror onstage back in December. But who is she??? Does she have anything to do with Dane's disappearance? I need to follow that lead. It's the only one I have. I need to find this woman!

As I always do, to please fans... band photos:

Dane coming out of the shower

Adrian daydreaming

This was a fun shoot of me    

Bruce at some backstage thing about a year ago

The orchestra girls. We do hire local, but these gals are with us most tours.

This is Stephan. Many Strange Happenings.

I feel like I have taken Dane's life! Living in his home, watching his television, dealing with his help, giving attention to his pets... even doing his women! I didn't think our lives were this different until now. But, he has lived in a whole other world. I live on the coast. My home is big but smaller than this one.... I have no pets. I have a maid service that comes once a week, but no daily maids. Dane takes his fame and fortune to the ultimate limits.

I found this photo of Adrian from several years back... we did a bit of a Goth thing if yoou recall, awhile back. Adrian looked the part pretty well....

Adrian during our Goth period...

Okay, enough of this... Because of Dane's disappearance, the media are digging, coming up with all sorts of crazy ideas of their own. I found this online today... a photo of Dane having sex! No one ever photographed ME screwing! Well.... maybe that's a good thing, but for Dane it's a brag moment. He likes those... not in a bad way! Someone made this GIF....

Someone found, or captured, some video of Dane with a fan....

I seriously doubt you'll find me on any of these... Being the bass player has its advantages in that we tend to be more obscure! Lead singers and guitarists are at the forefront of the media's attentions. The strange thing is, at the moment of this video, at least, Dane was having a really good time.... where is he now, and is he having as good a time?

Ok, don't look at that video gif too long... it will give you a headache!

I also found this online. Not being able to work much with the band is giving me far too much time on my hands, I think.

I guess, according to this, I am doing quite well, as my hair now is waist-length.

No other fans have shown up since Dalia. So, my sex life is a bit slow at the moment.

But, this is Dane's blog and I am sure you do not want to hear of my prowess. But I have nothing else to offer...Dane is still missing! There's been NO leads. I will keep you informed on every tiny detail, even if it's sex pictures that pop up on the internet. I've been drinking Dane's booze. Does it show?

Something strange happened today! A clue to Dane's disappearance?

Hello. This is Stephan Gale again. I am staying at Dane's mansion until there is some word of his whereabouts. His housekeeper Edna is here each day, doing her part, though I feel bad because Dane is not here to pay her. And so I offered to pay her wages until Dane returns. There have been no charges on his credit cards, nothing. The bank said he made no unusual withdrawals before he disappeared. If he had run away with this girl as the authorities claim, he would have needed money.

Anyway, it has been a cold and rainy day here in SC. I was lying in the den, watching television earlier today, when the dog started to bark. Dane's dog, Wolfe, is a very sweet Doberman with brain damage sustained as a puppy. He does not bark unless there's a real reason to.

Dane has these security cameras all over the place, so I started to check them. That's when I saw her--some girl was standing outside in the rain, outside the gate. It was dark, the reporters have all but left us alone by now. Who is this chick? I thought. I know Dane has women showing up at his house all the time. Usually he lets them in for sex, drinks and sometimes a smoke or two, but with him gone, I wasn't sure what to do. If she's a fan, she must know he is gone. As it happens, my curiosity got the best of me.

I didn't open the gate, but went out into the drizzle. I don't think she knew who I was, as I had on a jacket and hood. She must have thought I was Dane. Though she was wearing a long rain coat, her black hair was soaked and hung down her back. Her brown eyes grew really wide and she started ranting "Oh my God Oh my God... Dane... I am so sorry about last time we were together! Please give me another chance," she rambled. "I thought you were missing, but I knew you would be here. Please, let me in, let me explain..."

At that point I removed my hood, which freed my long red hair. You should have seen the look on her face when she realized I was not Dane. Her mouth dropped open and I thought she was going to collapse onto the wet pavement. She began to stutter, "Y-You... y-you're not... um...you're Stephan, aren't you... the bass guitarist for Dark Myst?"

I tried to remain calm and neutral. "I am. May I help you with something?"

"Um...I eh... I'm Dalia. I was here, um.... in December. Dane and I...we... well, we.... Is he back yet?"

Ohhh I got it. Another of Dane's conquests, back for more. Or so I thought at the time. "No, Dalia, he is not. I'm staying here for now."

"Oh, I see. Oh, I thought... I've been coming by. I saw the lights on, I mean... the lights have been on, but the reporters are gone now and it's night and I thought--"

"You thought wrong, Dalia. Dane is not back yet." I know I sounded defensive.

I thought she would leave at that, but she didn't. "I have something for him," she said as she pulled a wrinkled envelope from the small purse on her shoulder.

"What's that?" I asked.

"A gift... an apology, for last time."

Now I was intrigued. An apology? For what? Could this random fan not be so random? Could she have information on Dane's whereabouts and not even know it? I thought hard, then decided I needed to speak to her, question her. "Do you want to come in, Dalia?"

She nodded really fast.

Once in the house, Wolfe, Dane's Doberman, greeted her like an old friend. Not that that really meant anything. The dog loves everyone!! He's not much of a protector, he's a pet. Dalia patted him and called him by name. She said it was nice to see him again. She also seemed to know the house well, so she had definitely been here before. She walked into the parlor and looked around, not in the way people look when they are curious or browsing, but like she was looking for something. So, I decided to ask her.

"You lookin for something in particular?"

"Sort of, I guess. I should know better, after what happened." She kept looking around the room, the fireplace, the sofas, the piano, everywhere.

"What are you lookin for?" I asked.

"Well... I gave him a card last time I was here. I was hoping... I guess I was hoping he still had it."

Ah. What I didn't, and wouldn't, tell her was that Dane had a habit of collecting "trophies" as he called them, from women he slept with. If she had given him a card and it was not here, chances are she either stunk as a lay, or they never did it. "The maid probably threw it away," I told her. There were a few little trinkets about that I knew were Dane's "trophies" from past fans he had over and slept with, but they were less in the form of cards, and more in the form of silver or crystal knick knacks. Dane had expensive taste. If she had given him just a card and been a good lay, the card would have lasted a month at best. "When did you see Dane last?" I asked.

Dalia thought for a moment. "Uh, it was the 23rd, I think."

Hmmm. Bruce had mentioned to the police something about a fan Dane told him about, who had shown up that day (Dec. 23rd) with a gift, but he had not kept it. By that time, the card had been long gone and no one knew her name. And now, here she was and I felt it my duty to play detective. The police felt she was unimportant since Bruce and Caitlyn saw him after she did, and Dane was fine when they left. Something was missing, however. Something I could perhaps find out from this Dalia chick. Perhaps I could do what the police failed; find Dane!

"Tell me everything that happened that day," I said, feeling suddenly like a cop in a mystery novel.

"Why?" she asked.

People in mystery novels weren't supposed to ask why, they were supposed to just answer. "It might help find Dane," I said honestly.

"Um, ok..." she started. The envelope she held in her hand was spattered with rain, and she placed it on the top of the piano. I assumed it was another card for Dane. I looked at her expectantly, waiting for her story. "I came here to see Dane. Well, you know that. But, I gave him a card... a different card than this one," she motioned to the damp envelope. I nodded. C'mon, girl, get to something I can use here!  She continued, "We um... we... well, you know... started to get into it. But he stopped so suddenly. We were so close." She bit her lip and sat on the piano bench, her legs slightly parted. She was wearing a really short skirt!  I had to look away or else I would have finished wherever it was Dane left off!

"Okay," I said, unable for a moment to think. "Why did he stop?"

"I don't know!" she drawled (she was obviously from Georgia). "He was looking past me--towards that big mirror in his bedroom. I didn't see anything, but he just stopped, ya know. Then he said I had to go!" She shrugged. "I was fit to be tied, if ya get my meanin' but I left anyway. That was all. I went home."

Not much information to go on. I was very disappointed. But, I know Dane. We've been close friends for the past decade and I cannot imagine him stopping once he's started on one of his conquests, as he calls them. Not unless something major happened. She said he looked toward the mirror. And stopped. WTF??? I KNOW Dane has a problem with mirrors because he has said in the past that he sees funky things in them, but..... what could he have seen that would stop him from having sex????

I am just as lost now as I was before. No information to give police. I'll have to see if Bruce or Adrian have any information.

Anyway, I think Dalia saw my disappointment. She came over and actually SAT on my lap!! She said she felt bad about Dane and just started kissing me. What was I going to do, push her off? Let's just say I finished what Dane had started. haha.  Wonder if I should tell him when he returns? It is his velvet sofa after all. I guess I wont have to tell him. He will see this blog. I figure, if he is somewhere he can see this, he will get angry and contact me!!! Either way, it's a win win for me.

Hello Fans, it's Me -- Stephan. So Many Theories Behind Dane's Disappearance

Hello Dark Myst and Dane Bainbridge fans, readers of this blog. This is Stephan Gale. I have not written on this blog until now due to the fact that this has been very hard on me, as I see Bruce mentioned in an earlier post.

You see, though it seems stupid, I persuaded Dane to start this blog. For some strange reason, that's kept me from typing in it. Made me feel like I was stepping on Dane's personal space or something. But, my buddy has been missing over 3 weeks now, the police have given up the search because the trail is cold, as they said. They are convinced he up and left, but they don't know Dane as I do. He would never do that! Those of us who know him best are certain of it.

And I am certain we will see him again. I just feel it! I can't speculate on where he went. Dane has never said a word to me to indicate he would go anywhere. But here is what I do know... and this is not new news, as the police and detectives have questioned all of us on everything, especially me since Dane and I are closest personally rather than only professionally. The night of the concert in MN last month, Bruce said he saw someone in one of the mirrors onstage. I didn't see her, I was faced away and didn't look until I heard the squeal of the amps when Dane dropped his mic. By that time, I turned to see my friend disappear into the heavy smoke machine fog. I threw off my bass and ran over.

Bruce admitted he saw this girl in the mirror onstage! Police thought he was seeing someone from the audience but he insisted she was ONLY in the mirror! Detectives assume a crazed fan took Dane... or that he ran off with her. Bruce said something about thinking this girl may be behind Dane's disappearance in some way, but he wasn't sure Dane took off with her voluntarily. Apparently, Bruce told Dane after the concert that he saw this girl.

Like I said, I didn't see her, but Bruce said she just vanished. I guess there were people behind the mirrors but none of them looked like her and no one saw her. They all said they saw just the back of a big mirror. No one saw anyone go by, nothing. Especially not a woman dressed the way Bruce claimed. Our fans can at times have some interesting dress codes, but nothing like that. I would think she would have been noticed, and Bruce insists on it.

Personally, I think there's something about her that is behind Dane's disappearance. Is this some elaborate prank someone has played? I don't know. I would think nothing of the image in that mirror if it weren't for the fact Bruce saw her. Bruce makes up nothing! WTF??

Mostly, the detectives say they think he ran away with this girl. They all say because there's zero evidence of any foul play,  and because he's a rock star (which, by their terms means unstable), and by the amount of booze bottles found in his house they think he's an alcoholic or something, so they say he just decided to go on a wild trip somewhere. Um, no! Dane wouldn't just up and leave.

Somehow, I have to find this girl. Based on a description from Bruce, the police have come up with a sketch of her, though they have no leads on who she is or where she might be.  One of their theories is that Dane ran off with her. They apparently don't know him as I do.

Anyway, this is the sketch.

police sketch of the woman who Dane apparently ran away with! Yeah right!

Jesus, I have seen better sketches by 5 year olds! Not much to go on...

Anyway, it's "sketchy" what she looks like. Bruce (and apparently, Dane) saw her, but so far no one else has. The police are interviewing a LOT of people in this case. So far, Bruce is the only one admitting he saw her, but Dane obviously did too. Apparently, he was staring at her when he collapsed. What is this--some sort of fucking fantasy novel?? How can a woman be there, yet not exist? I wish I had seen her, I have a feeling it would give me more information. But I have none, and it is frustrating the crap out of me!

OMG Dane... where are you?

Some pics I found on Dane's computer....

Dane with a rescue cat. Not one of his. He's a cat guy.

Some party. I am not sure where this was taken.

Wasted at some party. What else is new?

Here's one of me I found on Dane's computer.

Please keep positive vibes going for Dane's safe return.
Thank you!
Stephan Gale
South Carolina, January 2015

Post from Bruce Tomkin. MISSING!

I am sure by now most have heard the news that Dane has gone missing and no one knows where he is. It was in the Aiken news, as well as all over the world, I am sure. I have not been watching, as all of us are very concerned.

I did not even know he was keeping up with this blog until I came here to his home yesterday and saw it open on his laptop. I looked through it to see if there is any clue as to Dane's whereabouts, but it says nothing and gives no hints. I decided since his fans read this, I would put up this post on Dane's blog in order to reach out to all. If anyone has any clues, please let us know!

All I can tell you is that when his maid, Edna came to work yesterday morning, Dane was not here. She said his cars were in the garage, nothing was touched. The house doors were locked from the inside and no windows were broken. Police said they saw no signs of a struggle of any kind.

I can't really tell you any more than his blog already has. He stated he was going for a ride on one of his horses, despite the rain. But both horses were stabled. The stable hand who cares for the animals stated to police that she saw signs Camelot had been ridden by some "unbrushed sweat marks on his back." but, she said, all the tack was hung up and in its usual place, so that rules out the chance he had fallen and was lying in a ditch somewhere. In any event, there is a massive search on in Aiken and especially around the area of Hitchcock Woods near his house. They are fingerprinting everything, and I had to get special permission just to post on his computer.

They have scoured the house thoroughly. The police said it looks like he had showered and shaved, and they found a recently used towel in his bedroom. Otherwise, he's just--gone!

I have to tell you we are all very worried. We had rescheduled our tour for January, after Dane's collapse onstage this month. And I have to be honest, I wonder if there's any connection to the woman I saw in that mirror onstage before Dane collapsed and his going missing, though I cannot imagine how that would be. Having spoken to Dane about it, this is not a new occurrence for him.

For now, we cannot even speculate on what might have happened to him. We are just hoping he shows up (alive, please), and this is some strange misunderstanding.

--Bruce Tomkin, Aiken, SC

Talk About a Total Shock!

I fell asleep sometime during the day, on the sofa in the den. I only woke up when I heard the gate buzzer going off constantly. Turns out it was Bruce, and his very pregnant wife Caitlin! I let them in of course. I was done with fans for the day at least.

Immediately, as usual, Bruce and I began a squabble. He's such an ass. He picked on the lady fan I told him about... how I didn't quite "get there."

I admit I snapped rather prematurely. I brought up the whole tour bus incident. The reason we had a new bus only for the 4 of us, no fans allowed. Though I must admit I cannot complain... it is a sweet ride!

In any event, as it turns out--crazy as it is--Bruce also saw my "Mirror Lady" on stage! Wow! I did NOT expect that! That shoots to hell all of the theories that I am crazy and/or schizophrenic. If Bruce saw her too.....

I am totally blown away!  What does this mean? My whole life I have seen her... she has been "mine," and now he sees her as well??? Hmm.... if she was MY illusion, he would not have seen her. If she was some past life regression, as Edna likes to call it, only I would see her... So how did Bruce also see her? I have such a headache thinking about this!

But... he did not FEEL what I did when seeing her! She makes me pass out. She makes me FEEL things I never have before. Bruce said he saw her, but felt nothing. WTF is going on here????

Right now I am sitting in the kitchen, trying to eat. But my stomach is not working. There's a break in the rain, so I think I'll take Camelot for a ride into Hitchcock Woods. I need time to think and riding always allows my mind to clear.

Tomorrow is my thirtieth birthday. Thirty! Ugh, I feel old.

Talk About a Buzzkill!

What a day! I was up super early because I had one HELL of a nightmare last night. I don't even want to talk about it!

The entire day I felt like a zombie... or a Walker, if you watch the Walking Dead. Have you ever had a really terrible dream that refused to let go of you all the next day? The rain did not help! Around noon sometime Wolfe barked and my cat jumped off my lap. To be honest, I didn't even know he was ON my lap! I was that out of it! Maybe I am still exhausted, as the doctor had said?

I went over to the monitor to see who dared disturb my misery. Some chick was outside my gate. She was quite attractive... black hair, busty, long legs. Yep! So, I opened the gate!  It was time to get my ass out of the slump. A good roll in the sack is always a pick-me-up.

Her name was Dalia... a Georgia peach! Lovely. She'd brought with her a gift for me, a get well card with a poem inside she had written. It was all about this love she felt for me. Yeah yeah... they all do. I got her a glass of wine. Just the thing to warm her up on this chilly and wet winter day.

As it turned out, she didn't need much warming up. She wasted NO time in finding her way into my jeans. Oh yeah! There's was only one major problem! She wanted to be in my bedroom... on my bureau... the one with the huge antique mirror! WTF.

My favorite opera was playing... (Yes, I like certain operas)... Carl Orff's Carmina Burana. I somehow feel I can relate to this opera.  The words, man... it's CRAZY! If you know archaic Latin you will get it!

“O Fortuna, velut luna, statu variabilis, semper crescis, aut decrescis, vita detestabilis, nunc obdurate, et tunc curat, ludo mentis aciem, egestatem, potestatem, dissolvit ut glaciem, Sors immanis.”

O Fortune, Like the moon, You are changeable, Ever waxing, Ever waning, Hateful life, First oppresses, And then it soothes, As fancy takes it. Poverty. And power, It melts them like ice.”

And not just the first act, either. Listen to that entire opera. It's powerful!

That ended and the Scorpion's "Rock You Like a Hurricane" pounded through the mansion. Have you ever banged during that song? I have written several songs with the same power-beat, but that song is the king of all sex music!

I had Dalia's ass on the dresser, I was so close...her warmth was right there!!!  Then You-Know-Who had to arrive just in time! Yep The Mirror Lady killed my boner! Talk about a buzzkill. Hadn't she tortured me enough by showing up onstage and killing our tour???  WHY CAN'T SHE JUST FUCKING GO AWAY???!!! Ok, big breath.

Dalia wasn't exactly happy. That was it. The end of any amourous encounter today. Sucks! I had to escort her out without explanation. This is frustrating. These illusions are destroying my sex life! Maybe I need to get on some sort of medication or something!!

After that, several drinks were in perfect order! Vodka... Rum... Wine.... anything I could find. I'm still messed up, but at least the alcohol kills the reality of what has happened--of my LIFE!

Merry fucking Christmas, Dane!!

For our fans, always a few tour pics, though the tour was cut short, I try not to disappoint.

Bruce looks like hell. He's all worried about his wife!

Adrian relaxing on the bus.

Hospital and Home and Confusion! Is This really the Life of a Rock Star?

Not sure if this had made news or not, I have not seen the news in several days. I am extremely disappointed, as well as confused and a fragment of my former self. Huh? Yeah, I know. I am most definitely going crazy, which is good for the image of a rock star! Anyway, the most vital part of our stage set did NOT arrive in time Saturday to make the stage. I am not sure whose idea it was, but mirrors were put in place around the stage... massive mirrors. I don't even know where they came from!! Who thought of this?? I guess they felt they needed to fill the gaps where our missing stage dragons would have been! The problem is, they did not know ME!!

So, throughout the concert our laser show bounced off these mirrors, giving all of us headaches! And mid-concert, I saw HER!!!! I can't be sure what happened after that except I landed in the hospital. I really despise hospitals!! I got out as quickly as they allowed. Oh, and remind me to KILL Stephan. He left me with no street clothes, so I had to walk through the hospital in my STAGE COSTUME of all things!

So glad to be home!

If you haven't seen our show, here is a digital rendering a fan made awhile back depicting our stage set, though not an exact replica, it is close.

We have a castle... (ok, not stone and mortar real, but built as a stage set, not digital). Laser lights, pyrotechnics, and so much more. The dragons are the greatest! Set on each side of the stage, staring at each other, laser lights shoot from their eyes and fire breathes from their mouths at certain times. It's all choreographed in perfect timing. One must be careful, however. I was burned once from the fire when I was not in the right place at the right time!!

For parts of the set, I am on a platform behind one dragon that makes it appear as if I am inside its mouth, or on top of it! I use swords as part of my routine.  We have THE most elaborate stage set and routine of ANY rock band that has ever existed... even beating out KISS. Our regular stage show blows their show off the map!!!  We are truly, the "bad boys" of symphonic rock/metal.

And we hope to one day make the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame!

Anyway, I certainly didn't expect to be home so soon!!  What a disappointment that our manager cancelled the entire tour! C'mon, this is just a bump in the road, but he says "You have not been yourself lately, Dane. Get some rest."  Now, what does THAT mean???

I showered and changed and Edna had dinner for me. OMG she had this entire spread! Nothing is a small affair with Edna. My dining room looked like we were having Christmas company. Edna's family stays at the mansion when I am on tour, however, they had gone home when she heard I was coming home early from "exhaustion." Since I was supposed to be on tour no family outings were planned.  It was just me, Edna and the animals.

Anyway, I invited Edna to join me since she cooked such a terrific meal. The real reason I wanted her there was because I needed to vent. I told her everything!  Of course, she had all these crazy ideas on why I see this image, this illusion if you will, in my mirrors. Home mirrors, fine... But mirrors onstage??? This is too fucked up to understand!

She brought up some past life regression theory. Oh really? Why in hell would I relive a past where I see this ginger-haired woman as a reflection in mirrors my entire life???  Does that sound sane to you?

So, I sent her home early, Not because of her theories, mind you, but because I just needed time to myself.

My 30th birthday is SOON... too soon. On the 24th. Thirty. Why does that seem so old to me?

Wait.... Martha said her brother's birthday was the same day. He looked like me. But he lived in the 1920's. Can't be connected. Weird.

I'm going to bed now..... what is next???

Ready for the Tour, New Tour Bus

We leave this week for the last tour of this year! I finally got a chance to see our new tour bus! It's pretty sweet. And also the first one we have had with our band name on it. This one will just be for the four of us. If you read this blog regularly, you know why.

Inside is even nicer than the shiny black exterior. Gorgeous granite counter tops, large living areas with TVs, DVDs, stereos, the works, as well as a cozy lounge in the back with a huge TV. Only four bunks so each one is huge. Our last bus had 6 bunks, 3 stacked up on each side and they were a bit claustrophobic. But with two on each side they are more like regular beds, with all the video and music, lights, ambiance lighting, etc. There's even a large kitchen area for plenty of munchies. Nothing was missed. Bruce and I are best friends that don't always see eye to eye and have our share of tussles. But this bus makes up for a lot. Too bad this is a short tour. It will be an extremely enjoyable one though.

Sweet ride

Even a TV in a small area near the kitchen

I DID ask Bruce to keep the leather furniture to a minimum, as I despise leather... my ass always sticks to it and it's always cold! So, thought some areas have leather (particular eating areas), most have suede or nice soft materials, I am not sure what.... I know leather and suede but I'm not Martha Stewart here, so I don't know the name of everything. My apologies. I suck at describing things.

Here at home, I am getting everything ready to go. My throat is much better, though I do still have a bit of a cough. I will have the bus stocked with plenty of throat lozenges as well as adding extra tea, honey and throat drops on the riders.

See you on tour!!!

Being Sick, Being Bummed.

I am still sick. Since it's moved into my throat, I can't sing. There's nothing more disconcerting to a singer than opening their mouth only to have a squeak come out. More rest. About the only thing I did today, besides work on my music (on the piano, no singing), was to spend some time with my horses. I also went out for a bit to the store to get some wine, vodka and tequila, though I have not touched a drop in 2 days. I have spent far too much time in the bathroom due to all the tea I've been consuming. And honey. I think I can keep the honey market in business. I tried it heated, which is very soothing.

To add insult to injury, I opened a magazine and saw a photo of my ex, Jessica.  I felt a sudden sadness and emptiness. When she lived here, the house seemed full and my bed never empty. I did not even realize I missed her. But it's times like this when the house is so empty and I am alone (other than a bunch of cats). God, how pathetic is that? Coming up on my 30th birthday and I am already an old crazy cat lady!! That was another thing Jessica and I did together. As both animal people, we helped shelters, did charities and rescued cats.

She took her two cats when she left but I still have my six. And my dog. He's always at my side and I adore my pets, but Jessica was a much better conversationalist.

I guess I was so angry at her for leaving, I let myself forget. I can't say I am in love with her. I don't think I've ever been in love. I don't know! But if I have to describe love, then what I felt for Jessica came close.

Well, my throat had better heal within the next few days. We have much rehearsing to do and I need to be able to sing!

I may not want to admit it, but I do miss Jessica.

I wish I could see her again. If only to understand where we went wrong. Okay, I get it, I slept with other women, but in my defense, Jessica was just a girl I was sleeping with who moved into my house. I had no intentions beyond a roommate with amazing benefits. Maybe I made a mistake.

Partied Out and Sick

There is not much worse as a singer than getting sick, especially when it has to do with your throat... and when you have a tour coming up!

Stephan held another one of his parties last night. I didn't stay as late as I normally would have, though I took the limo so I wouldn't have to drive out to the coast in case I decided to over do it. As it happens, I could feel a cough coming on, so I left about 1am and came home for tea, Advil, a hot bath and sleep.

I wasn't feeling too badly today. I worked at home on a new song most of the day, did some reading, watched a movie, took the dog for a walk. There's been quite a bit of rain coming through as of late, so the horses have been staying out of sight and mud is always an issue, but dryer weather is coming.

Once I am gone out on tour, Edna's family moves in here and they love the horses. My stable help knows all the ins and outs of my horse's care, dietary needs, etc. The kids can ride the older horse with adult help, but no one is allowed on Camelot. my imported black Andalusian. He's just too hot and I don't want anyone getting hurt.

Tonight, I feel like total crap! Apparently this cold or whatever illness is creeping in has decided it likes me.  We still have 2 weeks before the tour starts, however, so I am sure I will be fine by then. But for now I definitely noticed some issues during my warm-ups ... my mey-me-ma-mo-moo ... as we call them in singing, were a bit off today!  More tea!! With honey!

Tomorrow I rest my voice with lots of Vit C and more tea. I hate drinking so much warm tea, it makes me have to piss all the time. But, at least I had no alcohol tonight! Just a few at Stephan's party last night....

Don't you hate cell phone photos when you're trying to get some rest because you don't feel so hot!

Quite suspicious, Adrian looking particularly girlish handing out flavored vodka from a fancy carafe 

Stephan was wasted!

Bedtime people. Gotta get my beauty rest so my voice can heal!

Night!!

I am Not a Chick Drink Drunk!

Today was one of those days we call a "band business" day. That's a day when all we do is... well, band business. We're getting our shit together for the tour.

Sitting in the studio, waiting, I had my bottle of red wine and a glass. Hey, what the fuck's wrong with pouring into a glass? Is it more "manly" to drink from a bottle?  I used to drink rum and flavored vodka.... But when I couldn't get my pert ass out of bed to get to rehearsals and sound checks, I switched to wines. I have a wicked sweet tooth anyway and I have enough sweet wines to hold me day by day.

Adrian was drinking some concoction of Bailey's and Schnapps.

So, Bruce tells me I'm a "chick drink drunk" because I drink wine. Shit... I prefer to see it as a higher class of the male species! Of course he said nothing to Adrian... the guy's prettier than many of my fucks anyway!!  So I guess it's ok he drinks girl drinks.

One of these days I am going to lay Bruce flat if he keeps it up. I knew he was only teasing to release tension. His wife is dangerously close to her due date (which is around New Years) and we're leaving again. I felt we should postpone this tour until after the baby is born, but hey, what do I know? The new album is selling well, and he wants to get out there to make sure we stay chart toppers. He and the managers are boss!

Adrian caught in the limo. Hmm what's he thinking?

Two weeks left until the tour. The buses are getting all their safety and maintenance checks, as are the trucks that haul our stage sets and equipment.

Completely off topic, but I have develop some weird rash on my hand. Just my left hand so get your minds out of the gutter! It's mostly on my fingers, but itches so badly, I have managed to scratch the skin off without thought to what I was doing.

Of course, Edna, my ever loyal housemaid and caretaker, put some sort of voodoo on it... I don't know... she is originally from Louisiana and she called it a "home remedy," but seems like a voodoo potion to me. As long as it doesn't turn me into a frog, I'm ok. HAHA!   That's funny. Of course I do not believe in voodoo or curses, or any of that!

Although, I was cursed by a hearse once. No shit! I parked beside a big hearse once, thought nothing of it, even took a photo. For the whole next day everything went wrong!!! I called it the Curse of the Hearse.

Cursed Hearse

Ok, early morning. More "band business" tomorrow.

Night all, my fans! Sleep well and have lots of sex!

How would you like to wake up to this...

Not my photo. I woke up to similar. I think I was set up!

I woke about 2 in the afternoon in one of Stephan's spare bedrooms with 2 girls in my bed. I said I was done with sex for the night, but Stephan had all these crazy cocktail concoctions and a game that is something like spin the bottle, but it didn't include the bottle and there wasn't any spinning other than my head! And then of course there was plenty of drugs to go around, though I swear I do nothing heavier than a joint or two.

The whole place was loaded with every kind of drink and smoke and snort any human can do, though I rarely understand most of it. Sex is enough of a high. And I'm a high class wine kinda guy. Maybe a bit of weed. I have never done coke (not the soft drink) or anything heavier. Nothing that can create hallucinations... Hell, any guy who sees what I have seen all my life can't afford to have hallucinations.

I also woke to a raging headache. Since I had driven myself rather than taking the limo, I drove home with my darkest shades, popping Advil straight out of the bottle. I was so exhausted by the time I arrived home, I think I only gave a mere grunt in Edna's direction before heading upstairs and passing out on my bed.

I woke again at 7pm feeling better. So, I showered, ordered Chinese food in-house, and parked my sorry ass in front of the 60" TV in the den with a fire going. It's a fairly chilly 40 some-odd degrees. Of course, back home in CT, this is nice weather. But I have been in SC so long it's downright colder than a witch's tit!

At 1:30am now I am feeling ok. I accented my food with 2 bottles of wine. Reisling and Moscato. A little sweetness with Chinese food is great. Absolutely perfect choice!

I am alone now, other than my pets. Edna went home. All the other help is gone. Horses are snug in their stalls.  My dog is at my feet... cats all sleeping anywhere in the house there's a nice soft spot. It's a relaxed and cozy night. Going to allow myself to fall asleep in front of the TV.

Night all!!!

Party Time!

At the moment I am at a party. I'm a bit lit up like a Christmas tree, so don't mind my grammar. We are at Stephan's home. He wanted to have a Thanksgiving party for the band, crew, fans and all. He let me use his computer... in his office, away from the crowd. I will tell you why.

There are a lot of fans here..., women fans. Stephan is great for pulling them in. I have been harassed all night. Not that I mind a good lay or two with a very willing fan... but there must have been ten women hounding me as if I am the Dali Lama all night. I guess I felt a bit "overwhelmed" and I have already done 3 women tonight since I arrived. I'm out of condoms and I am tired. I want to relax with the band, friends... I cannot believe I am saying this... no sex, just drink and converse! I took a few photos for those fans that couldn't be here tonight.

Bruce hangs with party goers.

Adrian knows how to party with fans

Not sure where this one came from... I am in the back!

Stephan's party... think he could look a bit happier?

This is the party before the tour. In this way, fans who can make it get as chance to meet us, they get autographs, they get to talk to us and more... It's difficult on the road, especially with a packed tour. Often fans get insulted if we rush away, don't sign autographs, don't meet them. But you have to understand... we do 1 or 2 shows a NIGHT. As the lead singer, this can take a toll on my voice. I try not to talk too much on these short tours. I drinks lots of tea with honey. I keep my vocal cords limber with exercises. I need a lot of rest!  I hate when I have to walk by fans and only sign a few programs, shirts, etc. and leave more behind.

Please understand we are exhausted. Just like you, we are only human.  We work hard for you, to give you the best show, the best experience possible. So, Stephan hosted the party this year, for the fans. Often, we have it in a hall. This year at his home... a very unique deal.

As I said before, this will be a short tour. We will have no time for Meet & Greets this tour. Some will get the usual backstage passes and we will of course meet those fans. There's always something of a get together after each show. Then it's on to the next venue.

So.... as I am a bit drunk, on Stephan's computer, and ready to fall asleep, I am going to head away. I will stay overnight here tonight, so no worries about driving home the 2.5 hours back to Aiken. The tour starts in a week or so....

See you all on the road!!

Not a Normal Life

It's not like my life has ever been normal. But today pushed the boundaries of that normalcy beyond even my limits. Since the Jag is still laid up, I took the Ferrari out to that new music and book store I told you about previously. Of course, since today was the release of our latest CD, which stupid me forgot because Bruce the slave driver has me working furiously on this new song, I walked into this store unprepared. A storm was brewing. Then I walked in and found my own face right smack in front of me on one of those cardboard displays, but what was worse... the huge TV displaying one of our music videos in concert. Ugh. I generally would disguise myself with brown contacts and my hair up in a baseball cap. All I wanted was a book for Christ's sake. A little time to be a human.

I ran to the back of the store to the History Department. Anyone who knows me knows how I love to read history books.  I didn't even think, I just grabbed some leather bound book off the shelf to hide my face. I still felt like I was being watched!

Long story short, this old lady accused me of being dead!! How the hell can I be dead when I am right here?? I guess I resembled some guy she knew back long before I was born! WTF!

After leaving the store, in my car, I thought I saw "her" in the rear view mirror, but when I looked, I saw only myself. Phew.

To make a strange day even stranger, I bought that book and went home to finish working. After being reprimanded for my tardiness on getting this song done, Bruce left.  Christ, the tour isn't for another month! And it's a short tour.  But Bruce is so on edge because his wife is so close to her due date. He nearly snapped my head off, though, when I mentioned postponing the tour. He wouldn't have it.

I finally was able to relax in my library with my dog and read.  What the hell happened after that, I can't explain very well. Words can't compare. I read a passage about some knight way back in the 17th century in England.  I got dizzy, and the strangest feelings came over me. I swear I had only one glass of wine. Nothing else!

There's something in my life that is complicated and cannot be explained through rational means. I just do not yet know what it is. The rest is such a blur. Now you know why I feel that I am crazy and keep much of this stuff hidden. I've been lucky the media doesn't find this blog or they'd have a field day. Not that rock stars aren't well known for being nuts, but this is a whole different type of crazy.

Some weird revelation came to me tonight about that knight I read about in the book. But, it must be just my imagination playing tricks, right? I was in my room when it came to me. After, I went down to the kitchen for a glass of wine! Now, it's after 2 am and I need sleep!

Welcome to the bazaar life of Dane!!!

Pre-Tour and Band Pranks

Sorry for the long wait in writing. The band is busy with our "pre-tour." Everyone knows by now that Bruce, the born-again buzz kill, has banned fans from our tour bus! At least when he is in it. ha ha.

Anyway, as we cruise down 64 in West Virginia, by now all the other band members are asleep, I have a bit of a story to tell you all, my great and loyal fans. Yeah, ok, so I have had a few drinks. Trust me, it gets me through and helps me sleep. At least I avoid drugs, like Meth or Heroin. What's wrong with a couple Slippery Nipples (haha, I can think of some damn good things I can do with nipples)....?

Yesterday, after we finished with our small concert (which, by the way got a raving reception. Our new songs are getting grand reviews), and headed back out on the road (sometimes these "pre-tours" (Bruce's idea) can be more pain-staking than the real thing... we don't stay, we don't stop). It's rather like touring when we were a small band trying to make our way in music. Grueling!

Anyway, I decided since Bruce was remaining in the venue to go over some instrumentals and choral review with the others, I'd slip back to the tour bus with the latest hottie I met at the concert. I tend to like dark hair, unlike most who love the bleached blondes. I like all natural (no fake boobs, thank you). She seemed nice enough. Her name.... oh damn, I can't remember.

Anyway, I brought her to my bunk, intending on a bit of "release" after the concert when I saw something on my bunk that was not mine. Adrian's damn technological reading machine called a "Kindle." It was on and open to some book about a whore of 80's rock.... open to the chapter on this 15 year old chick losing her virginity in 1980 to Billy Squire.A quick peak told me this girl had screwed just about ever musician in the 1980's.

Kinda put a damper on my evening. I don't know yet what Adrian was trying to prove. I tossed the reading machine back in HIS bunk and had a really good time with... oh damn....what was her name...? 

Once back on the road, Adrian explained to me that this book had reminded him of me on the road... any girl at any "port."  I told him I was fine and needed no intervention. My sex life was just fine, thank you. It was then he reminded me of Jessica. She and I had hit it off pretty well and we were, well, dating. But, she wasn't there and I saw no reason not to indulge. We weren't married after all.

Would you say no??

Dazed and Confused

I feel like a page from a Led Zeppelin memoir. "Dazed and confused for so long it's not true..." What is true and what is delusion?  "Wanted a woman, never bargained for you..." So, who did I bargain for? Jessica, whose company I enjoy, who is music to my eyes... Or HER... the mystery woman who seems to grasp hold of my heart as well as my sanity every time I see her?

I saw her again today. I really have to learn to avoid mirrors more, but it's rather hard to shave and groom oneself without that stupid reflective piece of glass!

I wasn't even home this time, however. I was with the band, recording at a studio in Charleston. I went to the little boy's room and when I was washing my hands, I looked up into the mirror.

"Aw Fresh Hell!!"

She looked beautiful. Not that exotic, big breasted beautiful like Jessica. Actually, this lady, who seems as familiar to me as seeing myself, is plain in comparison. But her extraordinary long auburn hair hung in a single braid pulled to the front and she wore a blue tunic that looked like something from a Documentary on the Middle Ages. It was belted tight over a very slender waist. As a matter of fact, she is quite petite. But, every time I see her, I am lost. I am gone. I cease to exist. I have no idea who I become, but it's not the me I am accustomed to seeing.

So, now, I have Jessica, a physical flesh and blood woman I seem to be hitting it off with quite well, and then this... delusion? But how can a man feel for a delusion? All I know is that I have some thinking to do. I don't quite know what it is I need to think about, but the confusion in my mind and the tornado of emotion running through me tell me I cannot just let this go.

Wish me luck!