How long has it been since I have written in this blog? I know I started to write a few posts but never published them.
Apparently, my story was far too intriguing to pass up, and so it was made into a "novel." Funny as it really happened, but yet it is so unbelievable, it was written and is marketed as FICTION. I do not care, really. I prefer people think my ordeal was just the musings and imagination of a crazy rock star... After all, I've seen this amazing woman in mirrors since I could SEE a mirror, so how much crazier can they say I am???
I am not allowed to give away TOO much about the book, which was written by award winning author, Christine Church. The events are all true, but written as fiction. Marketed as fiction.
Because of all this legality, I have to be careful what I put in this blog.
All I can say is, read the book! Yes, it happened! There are many dimensions in the fabric of time and space. Wow, I can't even comprehend it all. I saw it, I experienced it... for 12 lifetimes, and yet sometimes I still cannot comprehend it.
Many will not believe, and that is ok. I actually prefer that, and asked this "memoir" of mine to be put out as FICTION. No one needs to know what is really out there!
I have a headache and we have a tour scheduled, so I need my "beauty" sleep.... so, good night loyal fans. I will talk to you soon!
Showing posts with label wine. Show all posts
Showing posts with label wine. Show all posts
Tuesday, November 15, 2016
Thursday, January 15, 2015
This is Stephan. Many Strange Happenings.
I feel like I have taken Dane's life! Living in his home, watching his television, dealing with his help, giving attention to his pets... even doing his women! I didn't think our lives were this different until now. But, he has lived in a whole other world. I live on the coast. My home is big but smaller than this one.... I have no pets. I have a maid service that comes once a week, but no daily maids. Dane takes his fame and fortune to the ultimate limits.
I found this photo of Adrian from several years back... we did a bit of a Goth thing if yoou recall, awhile back. Adrian looked the part pretty well....
Okay, enough of this... Because of Dane's disappearance, the media are digging, coming up with all sorts of crazy ideas of their own. I found this online today... a photo of Dane having sex! No one ever photographed ME screwing! Well.... maybe that's a good thing, but for Dane it's a brag moment. He likes those... not in a bad way! Someone made this GIF....
I seriously doubt you'll find me on any of these... Being the bass player has its advantages in that we tend to be more obscure! Lead singers and guitarists are at the forefront of the media's attentions. The strange thing is, at the moment of this video, at least, Dane was having a really good time.... where is he now, and is he having as good a time?
Ok, don't look at that video gif too long... it will give you a headache!
I also found this online. Not being able to work much with the band is giving me far too much time on my hands, I think.
No other fans have shown up since Dalia. So, my sex life is a bit slow at the moment.
But, this is Dane's blog and I am sure you do not want to hear of my prowess. But I have nothing else to offer...Dane is still missing! There's been NO leads. I will keep you informed on every tiny detail, even if it's sex pictures that pop up on the internet. I've been drinking Dane's booze. Does it show?
I found this photo of Adrian from several years back... we did a bit of a Goth thing if yoou recall, awhile back. Adrian looked the part pretty well....
 |
| Adrian during our Goth period... |
Okay, enough of this... Because of Dane's disappearance, the media are digging, coming up with all sorts of crazy ideas of their own. I found this online today... a photo of Dane having sex! No one ever photographed ME screwing! Well.... maybe that's a good thing, but for Dane it's a brag moment. He likes those... not in a bad way! Someone made this GIF....
 |
| Someone found, or captured, some video of Dane with a fan.... |
Ok, don't look at that video gif too long... it will give you a headache!
I also found this online. Not being able to work much with the band is giving me far too much time on my hands, I think.
 |
| I guess, according to this, I am doing quite well, as my hair now is waist-length. |
No other fans have shown up since Dalia. So, my sex life is a bit slow at the moment.
But, this is Dane's blog and I am sure you do not want to hear of my prowess. But I have nothing else to offer...Dane is still missing! There's been NO leads. I will keep you informed on every tiny detail, even if it's sex pictures that pop up on the internet. I've been drinking Dane's booze. Does it show?
Monday, December 1, 2014
How would you like to wake up to this...
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| Not my photo. I woke up to similar. I think I was set up! |
The whole place was loaded with every kind of drink and smoke and snort any human can do, though I rarely understand most of it. Sex is enough of a high. And I'm a high class wine kinda guy. Maybe a bit of weed. I have never done coke (not the soft drink) or anything heavier. Nothing that can create hallucinations... Hell, any guy who sees what I have seen all my life can't afford to have hallucinations.
I also woke to a raging headache. Since I had driven myself rather than taking the limo, I drove home with my darkest shades, popping Advil straight out of the bottle. I was so exhausted by the time I arrived home, I think I only gave a mere grunt in Edna's direction before heading upstairs and passing out on my bed.
I woke again at 7pm feeling better. So, I showered, ordered Chinese food in-house, and parked my sorry ass in front of the 60" TV in the den with a fire going. It's a fairly chilly 40 some-odd degrees. Of course, back home in CT, this is nice weather. But I have been in SC so long it's downright colder than a witch's tit!
At 1:30am now I am feeling ok. I accented my food with 2 bottles of wine. Reisling and Moscato. A little sweetness with Chinese food is great. Absolutely perfect choice!
I am alone now, other than my pets. Edna went home. All the other help is gone. Horses are snug in their stalls. My dog is at my feet... cats all sleeping anywhere in the house there's a nice soft spot. It's a relaxed and cozy night. Going to allow myself to fall asleep in front of the TV.
Night all!!!
Tuesday, November 25, 2014
Not a Normal Life
It's not like my life has ever been normal. But today pushed the boundaries of that normalcy beyond even my limits. Since the Jag is still laid up, I took the Ferrari out to that new music and book store I told you about previously. Of course, since today was the release of our latest CD, which stupid me forgot because Bruce the slave driver has me working furiously on this new song, I walked into this store unprepared. A storm was brewing. Then I walked in and found my own face right smack in front of me on one of those cardboard displays, but what was worse... the huge TV displaying one of our music videos in concert. Ugh. I generally would disguise myself with brown contacts and my hair up in a baseball cap. All I wanted was a book for Christ's sake. A little time to be a human.
I ran to the back of the store to the History Department. Anyone who knows me knows how I love to read history books. I didn't even think, I just grabbed some leather bound book off the shelf to hide my face. I still felt like I was being watched!
Long story short, this old lady accused me of being dead!! How the hell can I be dead when I am right here?? I guess I resembled some guy she knew back long before I was born! WTF!
After leaving the store, in my car, I thought I saw "her" in the rear view mirror, but when I looked, I saw only myself. Phew.
To make a strange day even stranger, I bought that book and went home to finish working. After being reprimanded for my tardiness on getting this song done, Bruce left. Christ, the tour isn't for another month! And it's a short tour. But Bruce is so on edge because his wife is so close to her due date. He nearly snapped my head off, though, when I mentioned postponing the tour. He wouldn't have it.
I finally was able to relax in my library with my dog and read. What the hell happened after that, I can't explain very well. Words can't compare. I read a passage about some knight way back in the 17th century in England. I got dizzy, and the strangest feelings came over me. I swear I had only one glass of wine. Nothing else!
There's something in my life that is complicated and cannot be explained through rational means. I just do not yet know what it is. The rest is such a blur. Now you know why I feel that I am crazy and keep much of this stuff hidden. I've been lucky the media doesn't find this blog or they'd have a field day. Not that rock stars aren't well known for being nuts, but this is a whole different type of crazy.
Some weird revelation came to me tonight about that knight I read about in the book. But, it must be just my imagination playing tricks, right? I was in my room when it came to me. After, I went down to the kitchen for a glass of wine! Now, it's after 2 am and I need sleep!
Welcome to the bazaar life of Dane!!!
I ran to the back of the store to the History Department. Anyone who knows me knows how I love to read history books. I didn't even think, I just grabbed some leather bound book off the shelf to hide my face. I still felt like I was being watched!
Long story short, this old lady accused me of being dead!! How the hell can I be dead when I am right here?? I guess I resembled some guy she knew back long before I was born! WTF!
After leaving the store, in my car, I thought I saw "her" in the rear view mirror, but when I looked, I saw only myself. Phew.
To make a strange day even stranger, I bought that book and went home to finish working. After being reprimanded for my tardiness on getting this song done, Bruce left. Christ, the tour isn't for another month! And it's a short tour. But Bruce is so on edge because his wife is so close to her due date. He nearly snapped my head off, though, when I mentioned postponing the tour. He wouldn't have it.
I finally was able to relax in my library with my dog and read. What the hell happened after that, I can't explain very well. Words can't compare. I read a passage about some knight way back in the 17th century in England. I got dizzy, and the strangest feelings came over me. I swear I had only one glass of wine. Nothing else!
There's something in my life that is complicated and cannot be explained through rational means. I just do not yet know what it is. The rest is such a blur. Now you know why I feel that I am crazy and keep much of this stuff hidden. I've been lucky the media doesn't find this blog or they'd have a field day. Not that rock stars aren't well known for being nuts, but this is a whole different type of crazy.
Some weird revelation came to me tonight about that knight I read about in the book. But, it must be just my imagination playing tricks, right? I was in my room when it came to me. After, I went down to the kitchen for a glass of wine! Now, it's after 2 am and I need sleep!
Welcome to the bazaar life of Dane!!!
Friday, November 21, 2014
Monday is the Day
Adrian came back from...well, wherever it is he goes. We asked him about the photo, which I mentioned in my last post. He said the guy in the photo was "just a friend" he went to visit, whom he had not seen in a long time!
I don't know... doesn't look like a casual encounter to me. He said they traveled around Romania and Europe just to experience the sights. I know it is hard to be a tourist when one is on the road working all the time. We go into a town and barely have time to breathe and sleep before showtime, then it is off to the next city. Adrian stated, in his "Dracula" type accent, that he likes to "get away from it and just be a person."
He did do a bit of a photo shoot over there, here is one photo he allowed us:
Looks a bit sketchy to me. I told him it looks as if he's heading into a hot tub with his male friend. Hah! Who am I to talk? My ass has been published everywhere. It should bring us publicity, at least in Romania where the shoot was, and as a musician, one can never have too much publicity. You're only as good as your last album. In this day and age, if you even slow down on marketing, branding and promoting, you're gone. It's constant work. Your label does some work, but you have to be behind it pushing at all times.
I have heard, esp from Bruce, what it was like 20 year ago or so.... You put out an album, toured to promote it and voila! You were a star! Ok, maybe not that easy. But simpler than today!
Today, all these "indie" musicians are home making CD's and putting them online to buy. I have no problem with that, it's that anyone, no matter how much they stink, can record a CD. If they tour around enough to advertise, they eventually make a name for themselves and then they eventually become famous, even to a small extent. Rarely are bands "discovered" into instant success. I say that only because we were sort of "discovered" seven years ago. We worked our asses off for it though. We all have fantastic musical backgrounds and we all have tremendous talent. Plus, we put on an amazing show. It's not just about the music, it's about the show! I have a really hard time with these bands that look like they stepped in off the street and just stand there onstage and play. Their music can be good, but with nothing to watch, I get bored. They need more than music. They need a gimick, a show!!
I think I might start a grant fund for up and coming good musicians to be "discovered" and skip all the red tape.
I don't know... doesn't look like a casual encounter to me. He said they traveled around Romania and Europe just to experience the sights. I know it is hard to be a tourist when one is on the road working all the time. We go into a town and barely have time to breathe and sleep before showtime, then it is off to the next city. Adrian stated, in his "Dracula" type accent, that he likes to "get away from it and just be a person."
He did do a bit of a photo shoot over there, here is one photo he allowed us:
Looks a bit sketchy to me. I told him it looks as if he's heading into a hot tub with his male friend. Hah! Who am I to talk? My ass has been published everywhere. It should bring us publicity, at least in Romania where the shoot was, and as a musician, one can never have too much publicity. You're only as good as your last album. In this day and age, if you even slow down on marketing, branding and promoting, you're gone. It's constant work. Your label does some work, but you have to be behind it pushing at all times.
I have heard, esp from Bruce, what it was like 20 year ago or so.... You put out an album, toured to promote it and voila! You were a star! Ok, maybe not that easy. But simpler than today!
Today, all these "indie" musicians are home making CD's and putting them online to buy. I have no problem with that, it's that anyone, no matter how much they stink, can record a CD. If they tour around enough to advertise, they eventually make a name for themselves and then they eventually become famous, even to a small extent. Rarely are bands "discovered" into instant success. I say that only because we were sort of "discovered" seven years ago. We worked our asses off for it though. We all have fantastic musical backgrounds and we all have tremendous talent. Plus, we put on an amazing show. It's not just about the music, it's about the show! I have a really hard time with these bands that look like they stepped in off the street and just stand there onstage and play. Their music can be good, but with nothing to watch, I get bored. They need more than music. They need a gimick, a show!!
I think I might start a grant fund for up and coming good musicians to be "discovered" and skip all the red tape.
Thursday, November 13, 2014
Accident, Mirror Lady and Band News
So much going on right now, I don't know where to start. You will have to excuse me, it's been a rough week and I have drunk more than my normal dose of wine tonight. It is amazing I can type. Anyway... someone plowed into the rear of my Jaguar today! There was a bit of fog. I was stopped waiting for the truck in front of me to turn when I heard the crunch and felt the jolt. No one was injured. My car took a bit of damage in the right rear bumper, but the other guy's insurance will cover it.
In other news, I was reminded today why I stay away from mirrors. She came to visit again today... it was as if she knew I had been in an accident, and even though I wasn't hurt at all, the stress of going through all this insurance bullshit is a pain. Now I must rely on the new Ferrari and that car is not always practical to drive wherever I wish to go.
The band is recording again, but I cannot tell you what we are recording, as all of it will be on the next CD. This will be the 2015 tour. Like I mentioned before, we have a few more U.S. dates in December then we take the holidays off. Adrian always returns to Romania for the holidays, Bruce spends it with Caitlyn, Stephan has his mom, dad and siblings. Me... I usually go back to Connecticut and spend time with my mom and dad. And that is what I will do this year. I leave the 21st and return back here the 30th.
I have a few concerts I want to see while I am in New England. Small time stuff, indie musicians and bands. Amazing how much talent is yet to be discovered. If no one was ever "discovered" who would make it?
In other news, I was reminded today why I stay away from mirrors. She came to visit again today... it was as if she knew I had been in an accident, and even though I wasn't hurt at all, the stress of going through all this insurance bullshit is a pain. Now I must rely on the new Ferrari and that car is not always practical to drive wherever I wish to go.
The band is recording again, but I cannot tell you what we are recording, as all of it will be on the next CD. This will be the 2015 tour. Like I mentioned before, we have a few more U.S. dates in December then we take the holidays off. Adrian always returns to Romania for the holidays, Bruce spends it with Caitlyn, Stephan has his mom, dad and siblings. Me... I usually go back to Connecticut and spend time with my mom and dad. And that is what I will do this year. I leave the 21st and return back here the 30th.
I have a few concerts I want to see while I am in New England. Small time stuff, indie musicians and bands. Amazing how much talent is yet to be discovered. If no one was ever "discovered" who would make it?
Tuesday, November 4, 2014
Might as Well be Home
Hello all. I cannot believed the weather here in South Carolina lately. I might as well be home in Connecticut--I think it's actually warmer there. We've been having exceptionally cold weather down here. I want to go back to Greece!
No, actually, I am quite happy to be home. Touring is an evil necessity of being a rock star. Ok, it's not hugely evil. I meet many gorgeous ladies and seeing new towns is... well, ok, so I never really get to SEE the towns as we are always either working or sleeping! Once in a great while I get to play tourist.
So, a few photos of the band from a photo shoot in Europe.
So, now that we are home for a short time (we will be doing the last leg of our USA tour in December), I have time to sit back and NOT relax. Writing new songs for future gigs and albums. More work in the studio. Yada Yada. Nothing you will be interested in.
Anyway... my 30th birthday is next month... so strange. 30 years. Wow. I feel old. Then again, Bruce, who will be 40 next year, thinks I am a baby.
OK, I am going to go pass out now. More maybe tomorrow! What do I have planned? Not sure really.
Later......................!
No, actually, I am quite happy to be home. Touring is an evil necessity of being a rock star. Ok, it's not hugely evil. I meet many gorgeous ladies and seeing new towns is... well, ok, so I never really get to SEE the towns as we are always either working or sleeping! Once in a great while I get to play tourist.
So, a few photos of the band from a photo shoot in Europe.
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| Me |
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| Adrian |
 |
| Stephan |
Anyway... my 30th birthday is next month... so strange. 30 years. Wow. I feel old. Then again, Bruce, who will be 40 next year, thinks I am a baby.
OK, I am going to go pass out now. More maybe tomorrow! What do I have planned? Not sure really.
Later......................!
Thursday, October 23, 2014
Relaxation... Or Not! Fifty Shades of What???
Hey, it's me... your favorite sex addict schizophrenic rock star, Dane Bainbridge... at least I hope I am your favorite. I've been writing this blog thing for a few months now and I am not really sure if anyone's reading it, which is okay because I have turned this into my personal diary and reveal things I don't think I would want the media to find out. They have enough of a field day with my "schizophrenia" as they call it.
Here is today's topic.... sex. Oh, what a surprise. Yes, I am drinking. Of course I am. I am not on tour right now, so what else is there to do (and even when I am on tour, what else is there to do? Don't answer that!)
Actually, when I came home from tour I met this girl named Katrina at the store (Yeah, I did her... hard. LOL)... anyway, we were lying in bed and she kept talking about this novel called "Fifty Shades of Grey." She wanted to do some pretty kinky stuff based on this book. I am not really the kinky type, except for a few safe "excursions" here and there. I had never heard of this book so I didn't know what it all meant. After she left, I decided to go and buy this book. I have read, I think, the first 2 chapters and I am bored already!! I will give it a bit more time to get better. How exciting! This Christian Gray fella sounds like a real control freak loser if you ask me. What girl with any self worth would put herself in such a position to be dominated in such a way? Hey, I may be addicted to sex of all types, but it has to be completely mutual. And no tie downs unless the girl asks for it specifically. I'm a horse guy... tie downs are for horses, and not in a sexual way.
I don't know... I am a sex addict, but the romantic type. Katrina wanted to try some things she read in that infernal novel. I let her have her way a bit here and there, but I drew the line at gagging and whipping... with real whips.
What do my fans think of all this? Have they read this book? Do they think it is over the top or do they like it? Let me know.
By the way, if you're really hot... I like in Aiken, SC, toward the south-west edge of Hitchcock Wood. :-) Just look for the Gothic Revival mansion with a spider web wrought iron gate, long drive, and a stable out back.
Here is today's topic.... sex. Oh, what a surprise. Yes, I am drinking. Of course I am. I am not on tour right now, so what else is there to do (and even when I am on tour, what else is there to do? Don't answer that!)
Actually, when I came home from tour I met this girl named Katrina at the store (Yeah, I did her... hard. LOL)... anyway, we were lying in bed and she kept talking about this novel called "Fifty Shades of Grey." She wanted to do some pretty kinky stuff based on this book. I am not really the kinky type, except for a few safe "excursions" here and there. I had never heard of this book so I didn't know what it all meant. After she left, I decided to go and buy this book. I have read, I think, the first 2 chapters and I am bored already!! I will give it a bit more time to get better. How exciting! This Christian Gray fella sounds like a real control freak loser if you ask me. What girl with any self worth would put herself in such a position to be dominated in such a way? Hey, I may be addicted to sex of all types, but it has to be completely mutual. And no tie downs unless the girl asks for it specifically. I'm a horse guy... tie downs are for horses, and not in a sexual way.
I don't know... I am a sex addict, but the romantic type. Katrina wanted to try some things she read in that infernal novel. I let her have her way a bit here and there, but I drew the line at gagging and whipping... with real whips.
What do my fans think of all this? Have they read this book? Do they think it is over the top or do they like it? Let me know.
By the way, if you're really hot... I like in Aiken, SC, toward the south-west edge of Hitchcock Wood. :-) Just look for the Gothic Revival mansion with a spider web wrought iron gate, long drive, and a stable out back.
Thursday, October 16, 2014
Home for Now
We arrived home to a deluge of rain and storms. Fortunately, my property didn't receive any damage, other than a small tree down by the barn. I guess farther west they weren't so lucky. I saw on the news about tornadoes killing people and damaging storms. I admit that's always been a fear of mine since moving south--they do tend to have much more severe weather down here than I ever remember from growing up in New England.
Anyway, it is nice to be home where I have only 2 mirrors in the whole house, very little worries, where Edna makes all my favorite foods, and I can go for midnight rides on my horse or cuddle in front of the television with one of my cats and my dog.
I am heading to my jacuzzi now for a nice long bath and spa, hoping that will kill this jet lag and allow me to get some shut eye.
A few tour shots.... Enjoy!
Have a great night. Stay safe!
Anyway, it is nice to be home where I have only 2 mirrors in the whole house, very little worries, where Edna makes all my favorite foods, and I can go for midnight rides on my horse or cuddle in front of the television with one of my cats and my dog.
I am heading to my jacuzzi now for a nice long bath and spa, hoping that will kill this jet lag and allow me to get some shut eye.
A few tour shots.... Enjoy!
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| Me (night in Spain) |
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| Stephan reheasing |
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| Adrian... just being himself |
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| Bruce caught unawares |
Thursday, October 9, 2014
Exotic Greece
Finishing up the European "shirtless" tour. Only three more gigs, Greece, Portugal and Spain. Actually, we are in Greece now....in Oia Santorini, a luxury cave pool at the Superior Suites. You have to come here and see this. Photos do not do it justice. Just a tiny vaca here... before we head to the Athens for our gig then we are off to Spain.
Greece is one of my all time favorite locations, so I always try to let our booking manager know to allow an extra day or two when we tour here so I may have my relaxation time in one of the gorgeous hotels on the islands. I rent a yacht and sip champagne while getting my tan and enjoying the beautiful weather, perusing these magnificent islands.
Ok, this post is sounding like an ad for a travel brochure. But I really cannot say enough about Greece. Though I do wish I had someone special to share it with... oh sure, there's plenty of women, but to have someone... one special someone...! Oh who am I kidding? I am not exactly known nor loved for my witty banter or fun personality. I drink a lot, I swear and I sleep with every woman who will have me ( provided she's hot). Not exactly relationship material, which is why Jess left I am sure.
Friday, September 26, 2014
Feeling Empty Without Her
It's 06:45 here in foggy England. I can no longer get back to sleep! I sit here on the floor with this tiny computer on my lap, drinking warm wine from last night and feeling empty inside.
I had slept fairly peacefully, until I was woken by that mother of all urges we all get in the middle of the night.... need to hit the loo.
When I came back out, however, the street lights that shone in my hotel room window revealed movement in the mirror over the dresser, and when I dared to peek, I saw her... Quickly, I snatched a robe off the chair and covered myself. Since when have I ever been shy in front of the ladies? But this one is different. I mean, where does she come from? Why is she there? What does she want? Is she really there at all, or in my mind?
As usual, I couldn't draw my stare away! She was standing in sunlight, which seemed to shine through the mirror and strike me. I could see the reddish glow along my body and even along the top of the dresser, mating with the lights from the window. Very strange. She reached her hand forward and touched the glass.... yet she was not in the room with me... as if looking at me from the other side of a window! I took a step forward and saw a tear in her eye, and why this moved me so much I still can't explain.
She was there perhaps a minute and then her image flickered and faded away. I realized I had been holding my breath! As I released it out, I felt dizzy so I slumped onto the floor, the robe in my lap. After a few moments, I grabbed this little computer and started to write this entry. Just had to get this out! My brain is boggled. I just want to sleep and feel normal again.
I had slept fairly peacefully, until I was woken by that mother of all urges we all get in the middle of the night.... need to hit the loo.
When I came back out, however, the street lights that shone in my hotel room window revealed movement in the mirror over the dresser, and when I dared to peek, I saw her... Quickly, I snatched a robe off the chair and covered myself. Since when have I ever been shy in front of the ladies? But this one is different. I mean, where does she come from? Why is she there? What does she want? Is she really there at all, or in my mind?
As usual, I couldn't draw my stare away! She was standing in sunlight, which seemed to shine through the mirror and strike me. I could see the reddish glow along my body and even along the top of the dresser, mating with the lights from the window. Very strange. She reached her hand forward and touched the glass.... yet she was not in the room with me... as if looking at me from the other side of a window! I took a step forward and saw a tear in her eye, and why this moved me so much I still can't explain.
She was there perhaps a minute and then her image flickered and faded away. I realized I had been holding my breath! As I released it out, I felt dizzy so I slumped onto the floor, the robe in my lap. After a few moments, I grabbed this little computer and started to write this entry. Just had to get this out! My brain is boggled. I just want to sleep and feel normal again.
Wednesday, August 27, 2014
Heartbreak!
Jessica left me tonight! I feel such an ache in my heart yet I understand her reasons for doing so... Such a terrible day! The band's been arguing, so much going on before our tour.... Then I come home to catch her with a man. She said he was her cousin! Yeah right. Without
saying a word, I walked away and went upstairs. Jessica came up a short time later.
So many question, so few answers. I lose myself in wine and music now!
September 1st we go to Europe to start the next leg of our tour. Then, back to the USA in November for a few more gigs. Home at the end of December. Hopefully, this will keep my mind off Jess.
Funny thing is, here I am, world renowned, famous rock star, women want me, yet I have never felt more alone. Having delusions my entire life (that have yet to be diagnosed despite all the best therapists) doesn't help. The note Jess left me... all about mirrors, about the "Mirror Lady" and about seeing myself. I keep reading it, trying to understand what it all means.
I read about the suicide of comedian Robin Williams. He was one of my favorite comedic actors. Now I feel as if I understand why he killed himself! I have my music, but where is it going? I have all the money I could ever want or need! I have done it all at a young age, but what do I really have? Meaningless sexcapades? Now, no one waiting for me to come home! I fear gazing into any mirror.... she confuses me. Yet I feel deeply. Something is there! She's a mere delusion. Nothing! A figment of my messed up mind.
I've been having nightmares lately... the few times I do sleep. Usually I am struggling in them, on the edge of death yet somehow hanging on! Yet I wake wondering. Why hang on? Life is too confusing! But I won't give up yet. People look up to me, though why I do not know. I am a public figure. I need to be an inspiration! You haven't a clue the pressure that puts on a person!
“What's
wrong?” she asked calmly.
“Where
is he?"
I sat on the bed, staring at the door.
“He
left. I told him we needed to talk.”
“There's
nothing to say!”
She
approached me and sat about two feet away. "Dane, I’ve never
seen you like this."
I stood quickly and turned to her. “And I've never seen you with
another man before!”
She
rose as well. "I told you he was my cousin. You don't believe
me?"
"Frankly.
No!”
“How
dare you!” she screamed in my face. “This coming from a man who
screws every woman he meets!”
What sucks most? I slapped her. I've never hit a woman and never fathomed it.
She left a note on my mirror, the mirror in my bedroom on the antique bureau.... I am feeling so confused right now, and the 3 bottles of wine I have consumed in the last hour have taken their toll. The note is an enigma; something about looking beyond the mirror to see who I really am. Whatever that means!
Perhaps she was tired of my "Mirror Lady," whom I have seen several times this month! Perhaps it was the women she has found photos and videos of... ones recently "conquered," as I call it? What do I do now? Did I love her? I can't answer that question. Life is very complicated. Relationships even more so!
So many question, so few answers. I lose myself in wine and music now!
September 1st we go to Europe to start the next leg of our tour. Then, back to the USA in November for a few more gigs. Home at the end of December. Hopefully, this will keep my mind off Jess.
Funny thing is, here I am, world renowned, famous rock star, women want me, yet I have never felt more alone. Having delusions my entire life (that have yet to be diagnosed despite all the best therapists) doesn't help. The note Jess left me... all about mirrors, about the "Mirror Lady" and about seeing myself. I keep reading it, trying to understand what it all means.
I read about the suicide of comedian Robin Williams. He was one of my favorite comedic actors. Now I feel as if I understand why he killed himself! I have my music, but where is it going? I have all the money I could ever want or need! I have done it all at a young age, but what do I really have? Meaningless sexcapades? Now, no one waiting for me to come home! I fear gazing into any mirror.... she confuses me. Yet I feel deeply. Something is there! She's a mere delusion. Nothing! A figment of my messed up mind.
I've been having nightmares lately... the few times I do sleep. Usually I am struggling in them, on the edge of death yet somehow hanging on! Yet I wake wondering. Why hang on? Life is too confusing! But I won't give up yet. People look up to me, though why I do not know. I am a public figure. I need to be an inspiration! You haven't a clue the pressure that puts on a person!
Friday, July 4, 2014
Hurricane Arthur and Touring
I am the only member of the band who lives inland, as I prefer country to the bustle of the shoreline. I am also the only one who didn't feel too much of the brunt of this new hurricane, Arthur. We did get some pretty nasty rain and wind and thunder and lightning. But nothing like what they experienced on the coast. Because of that, we decided to cancel the recording and rehearsal sessions we had planned earlier to get ready to go back out on tour.
Yesterday was a bit crazy. A lady fan found my home... this happens once in awhile. The gate was open and so she made her way in. I wasn't doing anything special, actually I had just gotten up and was in my bathrobe, so I invited her in. I'm not used to this girlfriend stuff.... Jessica came home and accused me later of cheating... this time I really wasn't! What is it with women anyway?
Speaking of which, I think I need to take my girlfriend's cell phone away.....
Yesterday was a bit crazy. A lady fan found my home... this happens once in awhile. The gate was open and so she made her way in. I wasn't doing anything special, actually I had just gotten up and was in my bathrobe, so I invited her in. I'm not used to this girlfriend stuff.... Jessica came home and accused me later of cheating... this time I really wasn't! What is it with women anyway?
Speaking of which, I think I need to take my girlfriend's cell phone away.....
Thursday, July 3, 2014
It's Frakkin' HOT! Hurricane Arthur?
I admit I am somewhat of a geek, in the sense that I like biology, not so much techno stuff. But I do watch this funky little show called the Big Bang Theory even when I am on the road. It's kind of a goof, even though, with a high IQ myself I have my own opinions of this theory (I don't believe it). Why do I mention this? Because I wrote "frakkin'" in my title for this blog and I got that from the show. LOL Next time I am in CA, I should visit the show set and see if they need a rock star for one of their shows... maybe a geeky one? What say you?
With that in mind.... Jess did it again... took a picture of me sleeping. Gawd!!
I'm enjoying this Moscato I have at my side right now. I tend to drink entire bottles at once. Why waste glasses? Edna has enough to clean up! She would laugh if she knew I was actually thinking about her work load, as I pay her one hell of a damn good wage. She takes care of my cats and dog too! Not my horses though. I have experienced Mexican stable hands for that! I am picky about their care. I am no idiot when it comes to horse care... So they do as I say! My older horse horse has health issues, and even when I am on the road, I call in and be sure to all is well and everyone is following my instructions.
So, South Carolina is frakkin' hot right now! The Dew Point is really high, which makes for very sticky air. So, speaking of the horses, I've been keeping them in during the hot days with fans on them, and out on pasture at night. Am I a good horse dad or what?
So, I have been watching the track of this hurricane... looks like it will miss SC completely. That's good. No need for anything to delay this tour!!
With that in mind.... Jess did it again... took a picture of me sleeping. Gawd!!
I'm enjoying this Moscato I have at my side right now. I tend to drink entire bottles at once. Why waste glasses? Edna has enough to clean up! She would laugh if she knew I was actually thinking about her work load, as I pay her one hell of a damn good wage. She takes care of my cats and dog too! Not my horses though. I have experienced Mexican stable hands for that! I am picky about their care. I am no idiot when it comes to horse care... So they do as I say! My older horse horse has health issues, and even when I am on the road, I call in and be sure to all is well and everyone is following my instructions.
So, South Carolina is frakkin' hot right now! The Dew Point is really high, which makes for very sticky air. So, speaking of the horses, I've been keeping them in during the hot days with fans on them, and out on pasture at night. Am I a good horse dad or what?
So, I have been watching the track of this hurricane... looks like it will miss SC completely. That's good. No need for anything to delay this tour!!
Thursday, June 12, 2014
Paparazzi and Sex Tapes
As they say down here in the south, I'm angry as a mule with a bur under his tail. What is it with the paparazzi and having to publish ... well, everything. Apparently, a lady fan I was "with" while out on tour videotaped us together... and the media got hold of the tape.... and published pictures from it! Okay, I admit I am quite good at my favorite recreational activity. But I have to keep this from Jess. If she sees this, she'll be the one with the bur under her tail. And I'll be in the dog house.
Yeah, that was a fun night... even though it made it into the media's hands, and I am sure the girl I was with made sure of it... brag about being with a rock star. I have news, girl. You're one in thousands! I won't say her name. Though she showed no respect for my privacy, I will respect hers. Besides, the authorities love to go after rock n rollers. We're all degenerates, you know!
Well, since Jess is still talking to me, she has obviously not seen this. It's on some obscure web site. Stephan was kind enough to point it out to me today.
Well, look at this, it's 2am and the wine is kicking in. I think I'll hit the sack (alone, as Jess is still in Europe). No fans at my house tonight so worries.
Thursday, March 20, 2014
On the Road Again...
We had a very crazy day today. We've been on the road less than a week and Bruce is up to his crazy stunts, with Stephan and a member of the orchestra (Bobby) and his body guard as cohorts. This time they chose to play a joke on Cameron, which made me feel better, as it is so often on me!
I think I've mentioned before that Cameron is sort of an enigma, even to us who are closest to him. I mean, I have know this dude ten freaking years and I still don't know if he's gay, straight, into dolls or what! Of course, there's been many practical jokes through the years aimed at getting him to spill the beans. Nothing worked. Stephan is always making comments about whether Cameron even has any junk, ya know. Hah! Living in close proximity to other guys, you tend to see just about everything, every part of them, like it or not... especially when booze or drugs get involved. But Cameron, nope... he never even gets down to so much as his skivvies unless he's in a hotel room alone (and even that's a guess).
So, last night, Bruce, Stephan and gang decided to see for themselves. I was not involved in this one, but caught the "show" in person. I'd had several bottles of wine and was entertaining a couple lady fans in the front lounge of the bus as we were parked behind the venue. We were leaving the same night so once our "entertaining" was over, everyone would be kicked out and we'd head back on the road to the next city. Yeah, we had a "curfew."
About a half hour before we were to take off, Cameron came onto the bus. Stephan had paid some fan, or hooker, I don't know... to play the part. They wanted to see if Cameron would take the bait. As soon as he boarded, she was there. She took his hand and led him into the bowels of the bus. You should have seen the confused look on his face! He hadn't a clue why this strange girl was taking him into the middle of where we were all sitting, entertaining, drinking, partying. Like all of us, he was accustomed to women trying to get his attention, but he must have thought "wow, how bold is this one!" We were all stifling our laughter. It took some acting to pretend nothing abnormal was going down.
Like I said, it's not unusual for any one of us to grab the attention of the ladies. I don't know why, but for some reason, rock stars are a big turn on for women! Even those that show no interest. And that's Cameron. He just looked confused.
As soon as she had him where she wanted him (where she had been paid and told to take him), She threw her arms around his neck and started kissing him. I swear he turned white as a ghost. Stephan was taping this on his cell phone and Bruce was stifling laughter. I just sat there, one lady on my lap, another beside me, watching and smiling.
I don't know how, but somehow I ended up involved in this prank. The girl in my lap (don't ask me for names, I never remember) slid down and unzipped my jeans. Okaaaay. Wasn't the first time I'd been indiscreet in front of all....! She started to give me the blow job of the century. I tried to watch what was going on with Cameron, but it was rather difficult to concentrate with her warm lips on me, ya know. But I did see the "hooker" go down on her knees.... she unzipped Cameron's jeans so fast... I've never seen anyone move so fast to get another person un-pants. I don't know if Cameron was in shock or liked it... she actually got his pants down to his knees... all his junk showing... well, at least we know he has junk....before he grabbed his pants, pulled them back up and practically sprinted out of the bus.
What happened after that, I have no clue. I don't care. The pretty lady servicing me did a magnificent job, and my mind was lost by this time. When I came out of my "climax-induced coma" everyone was laughing... not at me, but at what had happened to Cameron. Personally, my mind was more on the fact that I had been completely and utterly satisfied, was drunk ad happy, than on Cameron's dilemma.
The rest is a blur, because I think I stumbled to my bunk and fell asleep (when I woke I was naked from the waist down, so I must have removed my pants at some point, not sure when). But, Cameron was back on the bus and we were moving--all fans and hookers had left.
Today, I got most of the story. I guess Cameron took off, humiliated. Bruce, Mr. Reasonable, took off after him. I haven't got a clue what was said, but Bruce convinced him to come back. Bruce said to him that it was his own fault... I mean, c'mon... we all wanted to be sure we'd been traveling for the last 7 years with a dude and not some hermaphrodite or something. I laughed at the story, and the video Stephan showed me after (which included a few seconds of me getting my thrill on). As long as it doesn't end up on YouTube, I don't care. We're all pretty good at keeping these private moments between us close friends.
Moral to this tale? Cameron is a guy for sure... but what his preferences are, we may never know!
I think I've mentioned before that Cameron is sort of an enigma, even to us who are closest to him. I mean, I have know this dude ten freaking years and I still don't know if he's gay, straight, into dolls or what! Of course, there's been many practical jokes through the years aimed at getting him to spill the beans. Nothing worked. Stephan is always making comments about whether Cameron even has any junk, ya know. Hah! Living in close proximity to other guys, you tend to see just about everything, every part of them, like it or not... especially when booze or drugs get involved. But Cameron, nope... he never even gets down to so much as his skivvies unless he's in a hotel room alone (and even that's a guess).
So, last night, Bruce, Stephan and gang decided to see for themselves. I was not involved in this one, but caught the "show" in person. I'd had several bottles of wine and was entertaining a couple lady fans in the front lounge of the bus as we were parked behind the venue. We were leaving the same night so once our "entertaining" was over, everyone would be kicked out and we'd head back on the road to the next city. Yeah, we had a "curfew."
About a half hour before we were to take off, Cameron came onto the bus. Stephan had paid some fan, or hooker, I don't know... to play the part. They wanted to see if Cameron would take the bait. As soon as he boarded, she was there. She took his hand and led him into the bowels of the bus. You should have seen the confused look on his face! He hadn't a clue why this strange girl was taking him into the middle of where we were all sitting, entertaining, drinking, partying. Like all of us, he was accustomed to women trying to get his attention, but he must have thought "wow, how bold is this one!" We were all stifling our laughter. It took some acting to pretend nothing abnormal was going down.
Like I said, it's not unusual for any one of us to grab the attention of the ladies. I don't know why, but for some reason, rock stars are a big turn on for women! Even those that show no interest. And that's Cameron. He just looked confused.
As soon as she had him where she wanted him (where she had been paid and told to take him), She threw her arms around his neck and started kissing him. I swear he turned white as a ghost. Stephan was taping this on his cell phone and Bruce was stifling laughter. I just sat there, one lady on my lap, another beside me, watching and smiling.
I don't know how, but somehow I ended up involved in this prank. The girl in my lap (don't ask me for names, I never remember) slid down and unzipped my jeans. Okaaaay. Wasn't the first time I'd been indiscreet in front of all....! She started to give me the blow job of the century. I tried to watch what was going on with Cameron, but it was rather difficult to concentrate with her warm lips on me, ya know. But I did see the "hooker" go down on her knees.... she unzipped Cameron's jeans so fast... I've never seen anyone move so fast to get another person un-pants. I don't know if Cameron was in shock or liked it... she actually got his pants down to his knees... all his junk showing... well, at least we know he has junk....before he grabbed his pants, pulled them back up and practically sprinted out of the bus.
What happened after that, I have no clue. I don't care. The pretty lady servicing me did a magnificent job, and my mind was lost by this time. When I came out of my "climax-induced coma" everyone was laughing... not at me, but at what had happened to Cameron. Personally, my mind was more on the fact that I had been completely and utterly satisfied, was drunk ad happy, than on Cameron's dilemma.
The rest is a blur, because I think I stumbled to my bunk and fell asleep (when I woke I was naked from the waist down, so I must have removed my pants at some point, not sure when). But, Cameron was back on the bus and we were moving--all fans and hookers had left.
Today, I got most of the story. I guess Cameron took off, humiliated. Bruce, Mr. Reasonable, took off after him. I haven't got a clue what was said, but Bruce convinced him to come back. Bruce said to him that it was his own fault... I mean, c'mon... we all wanted to be sure we'd been traveling for the last 7 years with a dude and not some hermaphrodite or something. I laughed at the story, and the video Stephan showed me after (which included a few seconds of me getting my thrill on). As long as it doesn't end up on YouTube, I don't care. We're all pretty good at keeping these private moments between us close friends.
Moral to this tale? Cameron is a guy for sure... but what his preferences are, we may never know!
Sunday, February 23, 2014
Communication and its Necessity
So... I had a long talk with Jessica today. I explained to her that what I said was the truth. I really do see this Mirror Lady.... it's random, but it's been happening my entire life. Maybe I am mentally ill, I don't know. But when I see her, I can't control the emotions. I become lost and confused. I feel things I am not accustomed to feeling.
She forgave me last night's discrepancy. I can't blame her for having trouble understanding. Would you? I took her out for a fancy dinner so we could talk in public, over a nice setting. I was so nervous, I could barely eat. I really like Jess, and want her to be happy.
I swore to her it is all true. I am still not sure if she believes me or not. She said she believed that I believed it... isn't that a euphemism for "I don't really believe you, I think you are nuts"???
Since we arrived home, I have had 3 bottles of wine and 2 slippery nipples. I know.... I drink too much. Kinda hard to avoid when you see one woman in your mirrors and a "real" women is right there in front of you...ready to have a life with you. I feel like I am being torn in 2 directions. Ripped in half. Trust me, it is not a good feeling.
It will be nice to get away on tour and leave all this bullshit behind me. Plenty of women on tour... None that have expectations beyond the carnal!
She forgave me last night's discrepancy. I can't blame her for having trouble understanding. Would you? I took her out for a fancy dinner so we could talk in public, over a nice setting. I was so nervous, I could barely eat. I really like Jess, and want her to be happy.
I swore to her it is all true. I am still not sure if she believes me or not. She said she believed that I believed it... isn't that a euphemism for "I don't really believe you, I think you are nuts"???
Since we arrived home, I have had 3 bottles of wine and 2 slippery nipples. I know.... I drink too much. Kinda hard to avoid when you see one woman in your mirrors and a "real" women is right there in front of you...ready to have a life with you. I feel like I am being torn in 2 directions. Ripped in half. Trust me, it is not a good feeling.
It will be nice to get away on tour and leave all this bullshit behind me. Plenty of women on tour... None that have expectations beyond the carnal!
Friday, February 21, 2014
In Trouble with the Gal
What is it with women? I think I am in trouble with Jess. It's really not my fault. After rehearsals and 10 hours of work preparing for the Spring Tour, I was absolutely exhausted. I came home and just wanted a bit of rest, a reprieve. Jess had dinner made (I guess Edna has been teaching her my favorite dishes, but unfortunately there was no tuna sandwich available)... Speaking of tuna and off the topic a bit... have you ever ridden Amtrak trains? I kid you not, they have the BEST tuna sandwiches on the planet!!
Anyway, I went into the bathroom off the den (one of the few rooms with a mirror). I was washing my face and hands... and when I looked up... Well, let's just say SHE was there. No not Jess. HER!! I couldn't stop staring. She has such amazing long auburn hair and hypnotic amber eyes. I have just never seen anyone like her. I felt like I wanted to leap into the mirror and grab her!
Needless to say, by the time her image faded, I was enthralled beyond words. And no longer hungry. I grabbed a bottle of wine from the fridge, sat in front of the fireplace in the den and drank.
Jessica came in to let me know dinner was ready, but... well, I was full.... with wine. Oh she was so angry. I must have been a bit drunk because, for all intense and purposes, I told her my secret. The whole thing!! Boy, was she pissed off! She stormed off and I have not seen her since.
So, tell me, what is it with women? I was honest! So, why is she mad at me?
I guess that means more left overs in the fridge.
Anyway, I went into the bathroom off the den (one of the few rooms with a mirror). I was washing my face and hands... and when I looked up... Well, let's just say SHE was there. No not Jess. HER!! I couldn't stop staring. She has such amazing long auburn hair and hypnotic amber eyes. I have just never seen anyone like her. I felt like I wanted to leap into the mirror and grab her!
Needless to say, by the time her image faded, I was enthralled beyond words. And no longer hungry. I grabbed a bottle of wine from the fridge, sat in front of the fireplace in the den and drank.
Jessica came in to let me know dinner was ready, but... well, I was full.... with wine. Oh she was so angry. I must have been a bit drunk because, for all intense and purposes, I told her my secret. The whole thing!! Boy, was she pissed off! She stormed off and I have not seen her since.
So, tell me, what is it with women? I was honest! So, why is she mad at me?
I guess that means more left overs in the fridge.
Sunday, December 8, 2013
The Strange and the Lonely
I'm sure it's no secret by now that I live in Aiken, South Carolina. I get a lot of letters from fans asking me about my childhood, since I really don't speak of it much.
The truth is, even though I was raised in a very normal suburban area in Connecticut, my childhood was anything BUT normal. I have a secret, a big secret, and just mentioning this fact, I'm sure, will get far too much media attention. And since I refuse to reveal the entire secret, there's little more to tell. But I will try to skip around the private part of my existence and tell you what I can without landing me in the loony bin. (though, if you read this blog regularly, some of my secret was revealed a bit back. But that's all I will say on it).
Ok, I grew up in Stafford, CT, living not too far from the Speedway. I was never really too big into cars, though I did like speed (not the drug). Whether it was visiting a race track with horses or speeding cars, I was hooked on watching things move fast.
When I was 14, I worked in the pit crew of a friend, helping to change tires, check engine fluids and more. I also worked for short times up at Suffolk Downs, a completely different atmosphere than engine exhaust, fuel and burning rubber. Horses, unlike most speed car fanatics, I found just as amazing and fascinating as the metal machines with horse power.
Music, though, is what kept me out of trouble--actually it helped keep my mind off that little secret I refuse to talk about. Yeah, it's a secret that affected every part of my life and made me who I am today. Though, sometimes I wonder.
Ok, so that's the "Dane Bainbridge confession of the day." I will leave you with that... and some food for thought. Don't fret the small things in life. Trust me, there are far worse, more dangerous things out there than you can imagine. Not in your wildest nightmares. Stay ignorant my friends. You'll be much happier that way!
Signing off. Time for some shut eye. My dog is in my bedroom, warming up the bed, even though he is not allowed on it. I have to go kick him off to make room for myself. Early morning again at the studio. All new material I think the fans will love.
The truth is, even though I was raised in a very normal suburban area in Connecticut, my childhood was anything BUT normal. I have a secret, a big secret, and just mentioning this fact, I'm sure, will get far too much media attention. And since I refuse to reveal the entire secret, there's little more to tell. But I will try to skip around the private part of my existence and tell you what I can without landing me in the loony bin. (though, if you read this blog regularly, some of my secret was revealed a bit back. But that's all I will say on it).
Ok, I grew up in Stafford, CT, living not too far from the Speedway. I was never really too big into cars, though I did like speed (not the drug). Whether it was visiting a race track with horses or speeding cars, I was hooked on watching things move fast.
When I was 14, I worked in the pit crew of a friend, helping to change tires, check engine fluids and more. I also worked for short times up at Suffolk Downs, a completely different atmosphere than engine exhaust, fuel and burning rubber. Horses, unlike most speed car fanatics, I found just as amazing and fascinating as the metal machines with horse power.
Music, though, is what kept me out of trouble--actually it helped keep my mind off that little secret I refuse to talk about. Yeah, it's a secret that affected every part of my life and made me who I am today. Though, sometimes I wonder.
Ok, so that's the "Dane Bainbridge confession of the day." I will leave you with that... and some food for thought. Don't fret the small things in life. Trust me, there are far worse, more dangerous things out there than you can imagine. Not in your wildest nightmares. Stay ignorant my friends. You'll be much happier that way!
Signing off. Time for some shut eye. My dog is in my bedroom, warming up the bed, even though he is not allowed on it. I have to go kick him off to make room for myself. Early morning again at the studio. All new material I think the fans will love.
Sunday, December 1, 2013
No regrets?
This weekend was a very strange one. I stayed with my parents in CT for the holiday weekend. While out running an errand for my mother Saturday afternoon, I was standing in line at the convenience store. I should mention going out in public can be a hassle, even in the small town where I grew up--especially in the small town. Everyone knows everyone!
Anyway, I had my hair tied back, a baseball cap on my head (Red Sox of course), sunglasses and a full winter jacket with the collar pulled up. While I waited in line with bread and milk for my mother, I heard someone behind me clear their throat. I didn't turn around. I wasn't even sure it wasn't an actual throat clearing.
Then I heard a female voice. "Dane?" Oh boy! Though she did not sound like a fan. They generally address me as, "Oh my GOD, you're Dane Bainbridge!"
I turned around. Behind me stood a very pretty blonde. Even beneath her bulky winter clothes, I could see she was quite fit. I prefer brunettes, or red heads to blondes (unless they are real blondes). I smiled. "Hello."
"You don't recognize me," she said and a frown did not look good on her pretty face.
Uh oh! I had to search my memory and fast. I meet so many women, I cannot be expected to remember them all, can I?
"It's me," she said, "Tracy!"
Tracy... Tracy... Hmm... Holy crap! THE Tracy? I had not seen her since I was 18 years old. I had been dating her best friend, who coincidentally, happened to be named Traci but with an "i." Tracy was one of many regrets I had in life. Though I loved Traci, she was average, a little bit overweight, and I didn't have the highest confidence back then (what man who is delusional and sees people in mirrors would be?) Okay, forget I said that!
In any event, fantasies of Tracy got me through many a night, whether I was in bed with Traci, or alone. I may sound shallow, and maybe I am, but looks matter to me. I think they matter to everyone to some extent, but most people aren't willing to admit it. And so my girlfriend's best friend became my "food for fodder" so to speak.
Long story short, after we paid for our items, we stood outside the convenience store in the cold, damp air and talked. It turns out, she felt the same about me. I confessed my "sin" of wanting so badly to... fu*& her. But I felt she was too good for me. Now, she admitted felt the same about me, but didn't want to hurt her best friend (who, incidentally, she no longer has much contact with).
But it was too late now. She was married, loyally, and had 2 children. We parted ways with regret in our hearts for a past that could have been, but was gone now never to return.
Needless to say, my next stop was the liquor store and I spent last night getting drunk and trying not to think about what I could have had.
Is there a moral to this story? I guess there is, but it's for you to figure out what's the moral in your own life.
Oh look at me, Dane the philosopher.
Anyway, I had my hair tied back, a baseball cap on my head (Red Sox of course), sunglasses and a full winter jacket with the collar pulled up. While I waited in line with bread and milk for my mother, I heard someone behind me clear their throat. I didn't turn around. I wasn't even sure it wasn't an actual throat clearing.
Then I heard a female voice. "Dane?" Oh boy! Though she did not sound like a fan. They generally address me as, "Oh my GOD, you're Dane Bainbridge!"
I turned around. Behind me stood a very pretty blonde. Even beneath her bulky winter clothes, I could see she was quite fit. I prefer brunettes, or red heads to blondes (unless they are real blondes). I smiled. "Hello."
"You don't recognize me," she said and a frown did not look good on her pretty face.
Uh oh! I had to search my memory and fast. I meet so many women, I cannot be expected to remember them all, can I?
"It's me," she said, "Tracy!"
Tracy... Tracy... Hmm... Holy crap! THE Tracy? I had not seen her since I was 18 years old. I had been dating her best friend, who coincidentally, happened to be named Traci but with an "i." Tracy was one of many regrets I had in life. Though I loved Traci, she was average, a little bit overweight, and I didn't have the highest confidence back then (what man who is delusional and sees people in mirrors would be?) Okay, forget I said that!
In any event, fantasies of Tracy got me through many a night, whether I was in bed with Traci, or alone. I may sound shallow, and maybe I am, but looks matter to me. I think they matter to everyone to some extent, but most people aren't willing to admit it. And so my girlfriend's best friend became my "food for fodder" so to speak.
Long story short, after we paid for our items, we stood outside the convenience store in the cold, damp air and talked. It turns out, she felt the same about me. I confessed my "sin" of wanting so badly to... fu*& her. But I felt she was too good for me. Now, she admitted felt the same about me, but didn't want to hurt her best friend (who, incidentally, she no longer has much contact with).
But it was too late now. She was married, loyally, and had 2 children. We parted ways with regret in our hearts for a past that could have been, but was gone now never to return.
Needless to say, my next stop was the liquor store and I spent last night getting drunk and trying not to think about what I could have had.
Is there a moral to this story? I guess there is, but it's for you to figure out what's the moral in your own life.
Oh look at me, Dane the philosopher.
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