On Tour. Lonely, Though Surrounded by People

I don't write much on this anymore. I really see no point. By now, all my fans have read the news, read about my "abduction." But none know what I truly lost while I was gone all those months. For me it was mere days. For the world several months. I aged, the world aged. Yet she does not. Even if she had survived, she would be the same. My forever beauty.

Those that took me, those that tortured me, those that nearly killed me. Still, the scars they left on my body cannot compare to the scar on my heart.

The band is on tour now, traveling from one city to the next. What used to be fun, exciting, a new conquest in each city, is now just a job. A chore. There is no mirror reflecting her image, keeping the loneliness at bay!

I miss the long ginger of her hair, the scent of the wooded lands that clung to her like a welcome home. I miss talking to her, her innocence and her fascination with all the tiniest things in this world that we humans take for granted. She wanted so to see them all, to feel, smell, taste every experience this world of ours has to offer.

If I could return to her world, to change what had been. To know. To take down the threat that took her in my stead, I would try. I would succeed. And she would live on, though I would have perished. Yes, I would gladly have taken her place.

I wish I had more to offer, my dear fans. I still love you all. Bear with me. My life is upside down right now. I hope you will understand. It took months to be able to get dressed, much less leave the estate.

I finally needed to get the dirge I wrote for her out and into the public. "My Timeless Love" has become an instant hit.

Stephan here-- No News on Dane.

I am feeling so helpless. Today, I went to the studio in Atlanta to lay down some of the bass tracks for the latest album, but I don't think it's my best work. I cannot concentrate. At what point do you consider someone dead? Or give up on finding them?  It's been over a month. Nothing. No sign. No clues. Dane is just--gone!

Damn it. Why did I have to be the one to agree to stay here at Dane's home and take care of things? To basically live his life looking for clues as to my friend's disappearance?  Every day is harder than the day before. Though I am also learning things about my friend I never knew. And I'm hoping to find a clue within his life somewhere.

I get up in the morning (which, for me is usually around 11am), go down to the vast kitchen to find my coffee already made by Dane's housemaid, Edna (who calls him Mr. Dane). I sit at the kitchen island and drink my coffee and read the paper (apparently, Dane never read newspapers. Only history books and some novels). So, I started having the paper delivered here. 

I always have the dog and several cats for company as Edna goes about her duties managing the staff, which I counted as 3 people; two for cleaning the mansion, one for taking care of the horses--though I think that is 2 since there's weekday and weekend help. It is amazing how much help Dane relies on. Edna is sweeter than pie. She takes care of the indoor animals. She takes care of Dane. But he is not here so she has been trying to take care of me, but I am rather used to taking care of myself. She makes all his meals, cares for the cats (how many I don't know. I swear I see a new one daily), cares for the dog and manages the staff.

More fans have come by in the last weeks, both male and female. I rarely invite them in. Just the occasional hot chick. But, as time goes by, my worry is starting to effect me in other areas. I am desperately trying to find even the hint of a clue. I don't understand how someone can just...vanish!

Trying to get into Dane's head, his life. The only thing that keeps coming up is that woman both Dane and Bruce saw in the mirror onstage back in December. But who is she??? Does she have anything to do with Dane's disappearance? I need to follow that lead. It's the only one I have. I need to find this woman!

As I always do, to please fans... band photos:

Dane coming out of the shower

Adrian daydreaming

This was a fun shoot of me    

Bruce at some backstage thing about a year ago

The orchestra girls. We do hire local, but these gals are with us most tours.

Something strange happened today! A clue to Dane's disappearance?

Hello. This is Stephan Gale again. I am staying at Dane's mansion until there is some word of his whereabouts. His housekeeper Edna is here each day, doing her part, though I feel bad because Dane is not here to pay her. And so I offered to pay her wages until Dane returns. There have been no charges on his credit cards, nothing. The bank said he made no unusual withdrawals before he disappeared. If he had run away with this girl as the authorities claim, he would have needed money.

Anyway, it has been a cold and rainy day here in SC. I was lying in the den, watching television earlier today, when the dog started to bark. Dane's dog, Wolfe, is a very sweet Doberman with brain damage sustained as a puppy. He does not bark unless there's a real reason to.

Dane has these security cameras all over the place, so I started to check them. That's when I saw her--some girl was standing outside in the rain, outside the gate. It was dark, the reporters have all but left us alone by now. Who is this chick? I thought. I know Dane has women showing up at his house all the time. Usually he lets them in for sex, drinks and sometimes a smoke or two, but with him gone, I wasn't sure what to do. If she's a fan, she must know he is gone. As it happens, my curiosity got the best of me.

I didn't open the gate, but went out into the drizzle. I don't think she knew who I was, as I had on a jacket and hood. She must have thought I was Dane. Though she was wearing a long rain coat, her black hair was soaked and hung down her back. Her brown eyes grew really wide and she started ranting "Oh my God Oh my God... Dane... I am so sorry about last time we were together! Please give me another chance," she rambled. "I thought you were missing, but I knew you would be here. Please, let me in, let me explain..."

At that point I removed my hood, which freed my long red hair. You should have seen the look on her face when she realized I was not Dane. Her mouth dropped open and I thought she was going to collapse onto the wet pavement. She began to stutter, "Y-You... y-you're not... um...you're Stephan, aren't you... the bass guitarist for Dark Myst?"

I tried to remain calm and neutral. "I am. May I help you with something?"

"Um...I eh... I'm Dalia. I was here, um.... in December. Dane and I...we... well, we.... Is he back yet?"

Ohhh I got it. Another of Dane's conquests, back for more. Or so I thought at the time. "No, Dalia, he is not. I'm staying here for now."

"Oh, I see. Oh, I thought... I've been coming by. I saw the lights on, I mean... the lights have been on, but the reporters are gone now and it's night and I thought--"

"You thought wrong, Dalia. Dane is not back yet." I know I sounded defensive.

I thought she would leave at that, but she didn't. "I have something for him," she said as she pulled a wrinkled envelope from the small purse on her shoulder.

"What's that?" I asked.

"A gift... an apology, for last time."

Now I was intrigued. An apology? For what? Could this random fan not be so random? Could she have information on Dane's whereabouts and not even know it? I thought hard, then decided I needed to speak to her, question her. "Do you want to come in, Dalia?"

She nodded really fast.

Once in the house, Wolfe, Dane's Doberman, greeted her like an old friend. Not that that really meant anything. The dog loves everyone!! He's not much of a protector, he's a pet. Dalia patted him and called him by name. She said it was nice to see him again. She also seemed to know the house well, so she had definitely been here before. She walked into the parlor and looked around, not in the way people look when they are curious or browsing, but like she was looking for something. So, I decided to ask her.

"You lookin for something in particular?"

"Sort of, I guess. I should know better, after what happened." She kept looking around the room, the fireplace, the sofas, the piano, everywhere.

"What are you lookin for?" I asked.

"Well... I gave him a card last time I was here. I was hoping... I guess I was hoping he still had it."

Ah. What I didn't, and wouldn't, tell her was that Dane had a habit of collecting "trophies" as he called them, from women he slept with. If she had given him a card and it was not here, chances are she either stunk as a lay, or they never did it. "The maid probably threw it away," I told her. There were a few little trinkets about that I knew were Dane's "trophies" from past fans he had over and slept with, but they were less in the form of cards, and more in the form of silver or crystal knick knacks. Dane had expensive taste. If she had given him just a card and been a good lay, the card would have lasted a month at best. "When did you see Dane last?" I asked.

Dalia thought for a moment. "Uh, it was the 23rd, I think."

Hmmm. Bruce had mentioned to the police something about a fan Dane told him about, who had shown up that day (Dec. 23rd) with a gift, but he had not kept it. By that time, the card had been long gone and no one knew her name. And now, here she was and I felt it my duty to play detective. The police felt she was unimportant since Bruce and Caitlyn saw him after she did, and Dane was fine when they left. Something was missing, however. Something I could perhaps find out from this Dalia chick. Perhaps I could do what the police failed; find Dane!

"Tell me everything that happened that day," I said, feeling suddenly like a cop in a mystery novel.

"Why?" she asked.

People in mystery novels weren't supposed to ask why, they were supposed to just answer. "It might help find Dane," I said honestly.

"Um, ok..." she started. The envelope she held in her hand was spattered with rain, and she placed it on the top of the piano. I assumed it was another card for Dane. I looked at her expectantly, waiting for her story. "I came here to see Dane. Well, you know that. But, I gave him a card... a different card than this one," she motioned to the damp envelope. I nodded. C'mon, girl, get to something I can use here!  She continued, "We um... we... well, you know... started to get into it. But he stopped so suddenly. We were so close." She bit her lip and sat on the piano bench, her legs slightly parted. She was wearing a really short skirt!  I had to look away or else I would have finished wherever it was Dane left off!

"Okay," I said, unable for a moment to think. "Why did he stop?"

"I don't know!" she drawled (she was obviously from Georgia). "He was looking past me--towards that big mirror in his bedroom. I didn't see anything, but he just stopped, ya know. Then he said I had to go!" She shrugged. "I was fit to be tied, if ya get my meanin' but I left anyway. That was all. I went home."

Not much information to go on. I was very disappointed. But, I know Dane. We've been close friends for the past decade and I cannot imagine him stopping once he's started on one of his conquests, as he calls them. Not unless something major happened. She said he looked toward the mirror. And stopped. WTF??? I KNOW Dane has a problem with mirrors because he has said in the past that he sees funky things in them, but..... what could he have seen that would stop him from having sex????

I am just as lost now as I was before. No information to give police. I'll have to see if Bruce or Adrian have any information.

Anyway, I think Dalia saw my disappointment. She came over and actually SAT on my lap!! She said she felt bad about Dane and just started kissing me. What was I going to do, push her off? Let's just say I finished what Dane had started. haha.  Wonder if I should tell him when he returns? It is his velvet sofa after all. I guess I wont have to tell him. He will see this blog. I figure, if he is somewhere he can see this, he will get angry and contact me!!! Either way, it's a win win for me.

Hello Fans, it's Me -- Stephan. So Many Theories Behind Dane's Disappearance

Hello Dark Myst and Dane Bainbridge fans, readers of this blog. This is Stephan Gale. I have not written on this blog until now due to the fact that this has been very hard on me, as I see Bruce mentioned in an earlier post.

You see, though it seems stupid, I persuaded Dane to start this blog. For some strange reason, that's kept me from typing in it. Made me feel like I was stepping on Dane's personal space or something. But, my buddy has been missing over 3 weeks now, the police have given up the search because the trail is cold, as they said. They are convinced he up and left, but they don't know Dane as I do. He would never do that! Those of us who know him best are certain of it.

And I am certain we will see him again. I just feel it! I can't speculate on where he went. Dane has never said a word to me to indicate he would go anywhere. But here is what I do know... and this is not new news, as the police and detectives have questioned all of us on everything, especially me since Dane and I are closest personally rather than only professionally. The night of the concert in MN last month, Bruce said he saw someone in one of the mirrors onstage. I didn't see her, I was faced away and didn't look until I heard the squeal of the amps when Dane dropped his mic. By that time, I turned to see my friend disappear into the heavy smoke machine fog. I threw off my bass and ran over.

Bruce admitted he saw this girl in the mirror onstage! Police thought he was seeing someone from the audience but he insisted she was ONLY in the mirror! Detectives assume a crazed fan took Dane... or that he ran off with her. Bruce said something about thinking this girl may be behind Dane's disappearance in some way, but he wasn't sure Dane took off with her voluntarily. Apparently, Bruce told Dane after the concert that he saw this girl.

Like I said, I didn't see her, but Bruce said she just vanished. I guess there were people behind the mirrors but none of them looked like her and no one saw her. They all said they saw just the back of a big mirror. No one saw anyone go by, nothing. Especially not a woman dressed the way Bruce claimed. Our fans can at times have some interesting dress codes, but nothing like that. I would think she would have been noticed, and Bruce insists on it.

Personally, I think there's something about her that is behind Dane's disappearance. Is this some elaborate prank someone has played? I don't know. I would think nothing of the image in that mirror if it weren't for the fact Bruce saw her. Bruce makes up nothing! WTF??

Mostly, the detectives say they think he ran away with this girl. They all say because there's zero evidence of any foul play,  and because he's a rock star (which, by their terms means unstable), and by the amount of booze bottles found in his house they think he's an alcoholic or something, so they say he just decided to go on a wild trip somewhere. Um, no! Dane wouldn't just up and leave.

Somehow, I have to find this girl. Based on a description from Bruce, the police have come up with a sketch of her, though they have no leads on who she is or where she might be.  One of their theories is that Dane ran off with her. They apparently don't know him as I do.

Anyway, this is the sketch.

police sketch of the woman who Dane apparently ran away with! Yeah right!

Jesus, I have seen better sketches by 5 year olds! Not much to go on...

Anyway, it's "sketchy" what she looks like. Bruce (and apparently, Dane) saw her, but so far no one else has. The police are interviewing a LOT of people in this case. So far, Bruce is the only one admitting he saw her, but Dane obviously did too. Apparently, he was staring at her when he collapsed. What is this--some sort of fucking fantasy novel?? How can a woman be there, yet not exist? I wish I had seen her, I have a feeling it would give me more information. But I have none, and it is frustrating the crap out of me!

OMG Dane... where are you?

Some pics I found on Dane's computer....

Dane with a rescue cat. Not one of his. He's a cat guy.

Some party. I am not sure where this was taken.

Wasted at some party. What else is new?

Here's one of me I found on Dane's computer.

Please keep positive vibes going for Dane's safe return.
Thank you!
Stephan Gale
South Carolina, January 2015

No News Yet: Bruce Tomkin

Search crews have all but given up, though we have managed to convince them to keep looking, the investigation into Dane's disappearance is ongoing, but growing cold as more area is searched and there is no sign of him. Search dogs have picked up no trail outside of the estate. It's been a week now and we are all worried beyond words. The media is saying that he skipped town, running from something or is planning to fake his own death. I know this is not true! Dane loves his life too much. He loves his fame, his money, his house and animals, his fans, women...!!

I have known Dane for ten years. We met in 2004 when he was a new graduate of Juilliard. I was in a band and residing in New York at the time. He introduced himself after one of our shows and we hit it off musically, I knew I had to form a band with this talented singer/musician. The band I was in at the time was going nowhere and our music was stale. I had already been planning a break from them, as I had hooked up with 2 musicians from South Carolina.

That year, Dane and I traveled south to meet with Stephan and Adrian, who had been friends for several years. It was musically meant to be. We all had the same vision, for the most part. And, with Dane's Juilliard connections, we began a band using hard rock and some metal riffs, but with symphonic orchestrations.

Dane is one of the best singers I have had the pleasure to know. His rich voice and vocal range and intonation are perfect for the music we play, and being a history buff, knowing his way around a sword, Dane threw the biggest influence into the band, writing songs about Medieval lands, coming up with a vast array of costumes and elaborate stage routines. We were different, and word reached out quickly.  By 2007 we had our first album on the shelves, we were touring regularly, and pulling in larger and larger crowds. It all seems like a whirl now. I've been so busy with the band and my wife and a baby on the way, I have not had time to relax and forgot how fast time goes by, especially as I get older.

This past week has been hell. No one can even ponder a guess as to where Dane has disappeared to, and though this has hit us all very hard, Stephan seems to be taking it the hardest. Though Dane and I are best friends, Stephan and Dane have a connection in their shared interests, sense of humor, contests over bedding women, and pranks. I think that is why Stephan has not yet written in this blog. He says nothing, but I know him. His fear, worry and sadness show in his eyes and he never smiles anymore. So, now I must worry about him as well?

To stay busy, Adrian and I have been putting the finishing touches on some of our newest songs, minus vocals of course. I have added some of the bass as we can't get Stephan back to the studio or to play at all. He keeps stating that if Dane is gone for good, Dark Myst is no more. He says "Dane IS Dark Myst" and in many ways he is correct. As mentioned earlier, Dane is the backbone that our sound and success rests on.

Hope all of our fans are having a great New Year. Though Dane would hate me saying this on his blog, I am going to say it anyway; Please pray to God for his safe return. Bless you all and have a Happy New Year.

Stephan is taking this the hardest of us all!

Post from Bruce Tomkin. MISSING!

I am sure by now most have heard the news that Dane has gone missing and no one knows where he is. It was in the Aiken news, as well as all over the world, I am sure. I have not been watching, as all of us are very concerned.

I did not even know he was keeping up with this blog until I came here to his home yesterday and saw it open on his laptop. I looked through it to see if there is any clue as to Dane's whereabouts, but it says nothing and gives no hints. I decided since his fans read this, I would put up this post on Dane's blog in order to reach out to all. If anyone has any clues, please let us know!

All I can tell you is that when his maid, Edna came to work yesterday morning, Dane was not here. She said his cars were in the garage, nothing was touched. The house doors were locked from the inside and no windows were broken. Police said they saw no signs of a struggle of any kind.

I can't really tell you any more than his blog already has. He stated he was going for a ride on one of his horses, despite the rain. But both horses were stabled. The stable hand who cares for the animals stated to police that she saw signs Camelot had been ridden by some "unbrushed sweat marks on his back." but, she said, all the tack was hung up and in its usual place, so that rules out the chance he had fallen and was lying in a ditch somewhere. In any event, there is a massive search on in Aiken and especially around the area of Hitchcock Woods near his house. They are fingerprinting everything, and I had to get special permission just to post on his computer.

They have scoured the house thoroughly. The police said it looks like he had showered and shaved, and they found a recently used towel in his bedroom. Otherwise, he's just--gone!

I have to tell you we are all very worried. We had rescheduled our tour for January, after Dane's collapse onstage this month. And I have to be honest, I wonder if there's any connection to the woman I saw in that mirror onstage before Dane collapsed and his going missing, though I cannot imagine how that would be. Having spoken to Dane about it, this is not a new occurrence for him.

For now, we cannot even speculate on what might have happened to him. We are just hoping he shows up (alive, please), and this is some strange misunderstanding.

--Bruce Tomkin, Aiken, SC

Talk About a Total Shock!

I fell asleep sometime during the day, on the sofa in the den. I only woke up when I heard the gate buzzer going off constantly. Turns out it was Bruce, and his very pregnant wife Caitlin! I let them in of course. I was done with fans for the day at least.

Immediately, as usual, Bruce and I began a squabble. He's such an ass. He picked on the lady fan I told him about... how I didn't quite "get there."

I admit I snapped rather prematurely. I brought up the whole tour bus incident. The reason we had a new bus only for the 4 of us, no fans allowed. Though I must admit I cannot complain... it is a sweet ride!

In any event, as it turns out--crazy as it is--Bruce also saw my "Mirror Lady" on stage! Wow! I did NOT expect that! That shoots to hell all of the theories that I am crazy and/or schizophrenic. If Bruce saw her too.....

I am totally blown away!  What does this mean? My whole life I have seen her... she has been "mine," and now he sees her as well??? Hmm.... if she was MY illusion, he would not have seen her. If she was some past life regression, as Edna likes to call it, only I would see her... So how did Bruce also see her? I have such a headache thinking about this!

But... he did not FEEL what I did when seeing her! She makes me pass out. She makes me FEEL things I never have before. Bruce said he saw her, but felt nothing. WTF is going on here????

Right now I am sitting in the kitchen, trying to eat. But my stomach is not working. There's a break in the rain, so I think I'll take Camelot for a ride into Hitchcock Woods. I need time to think and riding always allows my mind to clear.

Tomorrow is my thirtieth birthday. Thirty! Ugh, I feel old.

Talk About a Buzzkill!

What a day! I was up super early because I had one HELL of a nightmare last night. I don't even want to talk about it!

The entire day I felt like a zombie... or a Walker, if you watch the Walking Dead. Have you ever had a really terrible dream that refused to let go of you all the next day? The rain did not help! Around noon sometime Wolfe barked and my cat jumped off my lap. To be honest, I didn't even know he was ON my lap! I was that out of it! Maybe I am still exhausted, as the doctor had said?

I went over to the monitor to see who dared disturb my misery. Some chick was outside my gate. She was quite attractive... black hair, busty, long legs. Yep! So, I opened the gate!  It was time to get my ass out of the slump. A good roll in the sack is always a pick-me-up.

Her name was Dalia... a Georgia peach! Lovely. She'd brought with her a gift for me, a get well card with a poem inside she had written. It was all about this love she felt for me. Yeah yeah... they all do. I got her a glass of wine. Just the thing to warm her up on this chilly and wet winter day.

As it turned out, she didn't need much warming up. She wasted NO time in finding her way into my jeans. Oh yeah! There's was only one major problem! She wanted to be in my bedroom... on my bureau... the one with the huge antique mirror! WTF.

My favorite opera was playing... (Yes, I like certain operas)... Carl Orff's Carmina Burana. I somehow feel I can relate to this opera.  The words, man... it's CRAZY! If you know archaic Latin you will get it!

“O Fortuna, velut luna, statu variabilis, semper crescis, aut decrescis, vita detestabilis, nunc obdurate, et tunc curat, ludo mentis aciem, egestatem, potestatem, dissolvit ut glaciem, Sors immanis.”

O Fortune, Like the moon, You are changeable, Ever waxing, Ever waning, Hateful life, First oppresses, And then it soothes, As fancy takes it. Poverty. And power, It melts them like ice.”

And not just the first act, either. Listen to that entire opera. It's powerful!

That ended and the Scorpion's "Rock You Like a Hurricane" pounded through the mansion. Have you ever banged during that song? I have written several songs with the same power-beat, but that song is the king of all sex music!

I had Dalia's ass on the dresser, I was so close...her warmth was right there!!!  Then You-Know-Who had to arrive just in time! Yep The Mirror Lady killed my boner! Talk about a buzzkill. Hadn't she tortured me enough by showing up onstage and killing our tour???  WHY CAN'T SHE JUST FUCKING GO AWAY???!!! Ok, big breath.

Dalia wasn't exactly happy. That was it. The end of any amourous encounter today. Sucks! I had to escort her out without explanation. This is frustrating. These illusions are destroying my sex life! Maybe I need to get on some sort of medication or something!!

After that, several drinks were in perfect order! Vodka... Rum... Wine.... anything I could find. I'm still messed up, but at least the alcohol kills the reality of what has happened--of my LIFE!

Merry fucking Christmas, Dane!!

For our fans, always a few tour pics, though the tour was cut short, I try not to disappoint.

Bruce looks like hell. He's all worried about his wife!

Adrian relaxing on the bus.

Ready for the Tour, New Tour Bus

We leave this week for the last tour of this year! I finally got a chance to see our new tour bus! It's pretty sweet. And also the first one we have had with our band name on it. This one will just be for the four of us. If you read this blog regularly, you know why.

Inside is even nicer than the shiny black exterior. Gorgeous granite counter tops, large living areas with TVs, DVDs, stereos, the works, as well as a cozy lounge in the back with a huge TV. Only four bunks so each one is huge. Our last bus had 6 bunks, 3 stacked up on each side and they were a bit claustrophobic. But with two on each side they are more like regular beds, with all the video and music, lights, ambiance lighting, etc. There's even a large kitchen area for plenty of munchies. Nothing was missed. Bruce and I are best friends that don't always see eye to eye and have our share of tussles. But this bus makes up for a lot. Too bad this is a short tour. It will be an extremely enjoyable one though.

Sweet ride

Even a TV in a small area near the kitchen

I DID ask Bruce to keep the leather furniture to a minimum, as I despise leather... my ass always sticks to it and it's always cold! So, thought some areas have leather (particular eating areas), most have suede or nice soft materials, I am not sure what.... I know leather and suede but I'm not Martha Stewart here, so I don't know the name of everything. My apologies. I suck at describing things.

Here at home, I am getting everything ready to go. My throat is much better, though I do still have a bit of a cough. I will have the bus stocked with plenty of throat lozenges as well as adding extra tea, honey and throat drops on the riders.

See you on tour!!!

Being Sick, Being Bummed.

I am still sick. Since it's moved into my throat, I can't sing. There's nothing more disconcerting to a singer than opening their mouth only to have a squeak come out. More rest. About the only thing I did today, besides work on my music (on the piano, no singing), was to spend some time with my horses. I also went out for a bit to the store to get some wine, vodka and tequila, though I have not touched a drop in 2 days. I have spent far too much time in the bathroom due to all the tea I've been consuming. And honey. I think I can keep the honey market in business. I tried it heated, which is very soothing.

To add insult to injury, I opened a magazine and saw a photo of my ex, Jessica.  I felt a sudden sadness and emptiness. When she lived here, the house seemed full and my bed never empty. I did not even realize I missed her. But it's times like this when the house is so empty and I am alone (other than a bunch of cats). God, how pathetic is that? Coming up on my 30th birthday and I am already an old crazy cat lady!! That was another thing Jessica and I did together. As both animal people, we helped shelters, did charities and rescued cats.

She took her two cats when she left but I still have my six. And my dog. He's always at my side and I adore my pets, but Jessica was a much better conversationalist.

I guess I was so angry at her for leaving, I let myself forget. I can't say I am in love with her. I don't think I've ever been in love. I don't know! But if I have to describe love, then what I felt for Jessica came close.

Well, my throat had better heal within the next few days. We have much rehearsing to do and I need to be able to sing!

I may not want to admit it, but I do miss Jessica.

I wish I could see her again. If only to understand where we went wrong. Okay, I get it, I slept with other women, but in my defense, Jessica was just a girl I was sleeping with who moved into my house. I had no intentions beyond a roommate with amazing benefits. Maybe I made a mistake.

Partied Out and Sick

There is not much worse as a singer than getting sick, especially when it has to do with your throat... and when you have a tour coming up!

Stephan held another one of his parties last night. I didn't stay as late as I normally would have, though I took the limo so I wouldn't have to drive out to the coast in case I decided to over do it. As it happens, I could feel a cough coming on, so I left about 1am and came home for tea, Advil, a hot bath and sleep.

I wasn't feeling too badly today. I worked at home on a new song most of the day, did some reading, watched a movie, took the dog for a walk. There's been quite a bit of rain coming through as of late, so the horses have been staying out of sight and mud is always an issue, but dryer weather is coming.

Once I am gone out on tour, Edna's family moves in here and they love the horses. My stable help knows all the ins and outs of my horse's care, dietary needs, etc. The kids can ride the older horse with adult help, but no one is allowed on Camelot. my imported black Andalusian. He's just too hot and I don't want anyone getting hurt.

Tonight, I feel like total crap! Apparently this cold or whatever illness is creeping in has decided it likes me.  We still have 2 weeks before the tour starts, however, so I am sure I will be fine by then. But for now I definitely noticed some issues during my warm-ups ... my mey-me-ma-mo-moo ... as we call them in singing, were a bit off today!  More tea!! With honey!

Tomorrow I rest my voice with lots of Vit C and more tea. I hate drinking so much warm tea, it makes me have to piss all the time. But, at least I had no alcohol tonight! Just a few at Stephan's party last night....

Don't you hate cell phone photos when you're trying to get some rest because you don't feel so hot!

Quite suspicious, Adrian looking particularly girlish handing out flavored vodka from a fancy carafe 

Stephan was wasted!

Bedtime people. Gotta get my beauty rest so my voice can heal!

Night!!

I am Not a Chick Drink Drunk!

Today was one of those days we call a "band business" day. That's a day when all we do is... well, band business. We're getting our shit together for the tour.

Sitting in the studio, waiting, I had my bottle of red wine and a glass. Hey, what the fuck's wrong with pouring into a glass? Is it more "manly" to drink from a bottle?  I used to drink rum and flavored vodka.... But when I couldn't get my pert ass out of bed to get to rehearsals and sound checks, I switched to wines. I have a wicked sweet tooth anyway and I have enough sweet wines to hold me day by day.

Adrian was drinking some concoction of Bailey's and Schnapps.

So, Bruce tells me I'm a "chick drink drunk" because I drink wine. Shit... I prefer to see it as a higher class of the male species! Of course he said nothing to Adrian... the guy's prettier than many of my fucks anyway!!  So I guess it's ok he drinks girl drinks.

One of these days I am going to lay Bruce flat if he keeps it up. I knew he was only teasing to release tension. His wife is dangerously close to her due date (which is around New Years) and we're leaving again. I felt we should postpone this tour until after the baby is born, but hey, what do I know? The new album is selling well, and he wants to get out there to make sure we stay chart toppers. He and the managers are boss!

Adrian caught in the limo. Hmm what's he thinking?

Two weeks left until the tour. The buses are getting all their safety and maintenance checks, as are the trucks that haul our stage sets and equipment.

Completely off topic, but I have develop some weird rash on my hand. Just my left hand so get your minds out of the gutter! It's mostly on my fingers, but itches so badly, I have managed to scratch the skin off without thought to what I was doing.

Of course, Edna, my ever loyal housemaid and caretaker, put some sort of voodoo on it... I don't know... she is originally from Louisiana and she called it a "home remedy," but seems like a voodoo potion to me. As long as it doesn't turn me into a frog, I'm ok. HAHA!   That's funny. Of course I do not believe in voodoo or curses, or any of that!

Although, I was cursed by a hearse once. No shit! I parked beside a big hearse once, thought nothing of it, even took a photo. For the whole next day everything went wrong!!! I called it the Curse of the Hearse.

Cursed Hearse

Ok, early morning. More "band business" tomorrow.

Night all, my fans! Sleep well and have lots of sex!

How would you like to wake up to this...

Not my photo. I woke up to similar. I think I was set up!

I woke about 2 in the afternoon in one of Stephan's spare bedrooms with 2 girls in my bed. I said I was done with sex for the night, but Stephan had all these crazy cocktail concoctions and a game that is something like spin the bottle, but it didn't include the bottle and there wasn't any spinning other than my head! And then of course there was plenty of drugs to go around, though I swear I do nothing heavier than a joint or two.

The whole place was loaded with every kind of drink and smoke and snort any human can do, though I rarely understand most of it. Sex is enough of a high. And I'm a high class wine kinda guy. Maybe a bit of weed. I have never done coke (not the soft drink) or anything heavier. Nothing that can create hallucinations... Hell, any guy who sees what I have seen all my life can't afford to have hallucinations.

I also woke to a raging headache. Since I had driven myself rather than taking the limo, I drove home with my darkest shades, popping Advil straight out of the bottle. I was so exhausted by the time I arrived home, I think I only gave a mere grunt in Edna's direction before heading upstairs and passing out on my bed.

I woke again at 7pm feeling better. So, I showered, ordered Chinese food in-house, and parked my sorry ass in front of the 60" TV in the den with a fire going. It's a fairly chilly 40 some-odd degrees. Of course, back home in CT, this is nice weather. But I have been in SC so long it's downright colder than a witch's tit!

At 1:30am now I am feeling ok. I accented my food with 2 bottles of wine. Reisling and Moscato. A little sweetness with Chinese food is great. Absolutely perfect choice!

I am alone now, other than my pets. Edna went home. All the other help is gone. Horses are snug in their stalls.  My dog is at my feet... cats all sleeping anywhere in the house there's a nice soft spot. It's a relaxed and cozy night. Going to allow myself to fall asleep in front of the TV.

Night all!!!

Party Time!

At the moment I am at a party. I'm a bit lit up like a Christmas tree, so don't mind my grammar. We are at Stephan's home. He wanted to have a Thanksgiving party for the band, crew, fans and all. He let me use his computer... in his office, away from the crowd. I will tell you why.

There are a lot of fans here..., women fans. Stephan is great for pulling them in. I have been harassed all night. Not that I mind a good lay or two with a very willing fan... but there must have been ten women hounding me as if I am the Dali Lama all night. I guess I felt a bit "overwhelmed" and I have already done 3 women tonight since I arrived. I'm out of condoms and I am tired. I want to relax with the band, friends... I cannot believe I am saying this... no sex, just drink and converse! I took a few photos for those fans that couldn't be here tonight.

Bruce hangs with party goers.

Adrian knows how to party with fans

Not sure where this one came from... I am in the back!

Stephan's party... think he could look a bit happier?

This is the party before the tour. In this way, fans who can make it get as chance to meet us, they get autographs, they get to talk to us and more... It's difficult on the road, especially with a packed tour. Often fans get insulted if we rush away, don't sign autographs, don't meet them. But you have to understand... we do 1 or 2 shows a NIGHT. As the lead singer, this can take a toll on my voice. I try not to talk too much on these short tours. I drinks lots of tea with honey. I keep my vocal cords limber with exercises. I need a lot of rest!  I hate when I have to walk by fans and only sign a few programs, shirts, etc. and leave more behind.

Please understand we are exhausted. Just like you, we are only human.  We work hard for you, to give you the best show, the best experience possible. So, Stephan hosted the party this year, for the fans. Often, we have it in a hall. This year at his home... a very unique deal.

As I said before, this will be a short tour. We will have no time for Meet & Greets this tour. Some will get the usual backstage passes and we will of course meet those fans. There's always something of a get together after each show. Then it's on to the next venue.

So.... as I am a bit drunk, on Stephan's computer, and ready to fall asleep, I am going to head away. I will stay overnight here tonight, so no worries about driving home the 2.5 hours back to Aiken. The tour starts in a week or so....

See you all on the road!!

Not a Normal Life

It's not like my life has ever been normal. But today pushed the boundaries of that normalcy beyond even my limits. Since the Jag is still laid up, I took the Ferrari out to that new music and book store I told you about previously. Of course, since today was the release of our latest CD, which stupid me forgot because Bruce the slave driver has me working furiously on this new song, I walked into this store unprepared. A storm was brewing. Then I walked in and found my own face right smack in front of me on one of those cardboard displays, but what was worse... the huge TV displaying one of our music videos in concert. Ugh. I generally would disguise myself with brown contacts and my hair up in a baseball cap. All I wanted was a book for Christ's sake. A little time to be a human.

I ran to the back of the store to the History Department. Anyone who knows me knows how I love to read history books.  I didn't even think, I just grabbed some leather bound book off the shelf to hide my face. I still felt like I was being watched!

Long story short, this old lady accused me of being dead!! How the hell can I be dead when I am right here?? I guess I resembled some guy she knew back long before I was born! WTF!

After leaving the store, in my car, I thought I saw "her" in the rear view mirror, but when I looked, I saw only myself. Phew.

To make a strange day even stranger, I bought that book and went home to finish working. After being reprimanded for my tardiness on getting this song done, Bruce left.  Christ, the tour isn't for another month! And it's a short tour.  But Bruce is so on edge because his wife is so close to her due date. He nearly snapped my head off, though, when I mentioned postponing the tour. He wouldn't have it.

I finally was able to relax in my library with my dog and read.  What the hell happened after that, I can't explain very well. Words can't compare. I read a passage about some knight way back in the 17th century in England.  I got dizzy, and the strangest feelings came over me. I swear I had only one glass of wine. Nothing else!

There's something in my life that is complicated and cannot be explained through rational means. I just do not yet know what it is. The rest is such a blur. Now you know why I feel that I am crazy and keep much of this stuff hidden. I've been lucky the media doesn't find this blog or they'd have a field day. Not that rock stars aren't well known for being nuts, but this is a whole different type of crazy.

Some weird revelation came to me tonight about that knight I read about in the book. But, it must be just my imagination playing tricks, right? I was in my room when it came to me. After, I went down to the kitchen for a glass of wine! Now, it's after 2 am and I need sleep!

Welcome to the bazaar life of Dane!!!

New Book Store, Life on the Road and Sex

Sex always gets people reading. I can't blame them. It's the greatest thing on earth. But y'a ll already know who I am and that, besides music, my next biggest hobby is sex.

And I love to read. Especially history books. Well, tomorrow is the grand opening of a new music and bookstore here in S.C. (despite the bad weather of late. T-Storms today, lots of flash flood warnings). It also happens to be the release date of Dark Myst's new CD. I plan to visit the store for some new books. With a few tour dates coming up,  I will need some reading material. The others get on my ass about the amount of books I bring on the bus, but I have not embraced those 21st century e-readers yet.

This will be a complete bus tour.  It is short--a continuation of the summer's tour--only a month and a half.  I am not crazy about spending over a month on the road, new city EVERY night, not having a decent bath at a hotel. But, we won't have time for hotels in this particular tour. It's the bus all the way. Since Bruce made sure we have a brand new bus for just the four of us, I am hoping he also ordered a decent shower. I prefer baths, but one cannot be picky on the road.

Buses can have luxuries. Showers are rarely good. 

I miss home, I miss my animals, but look forward to traveling. Sometimes I get more rest on the road than I do at home. When home it's all work, recording, getting everything ready, marketing, etc. On the road, it's mostly sitting around while driving from state to state, watching movies, reading, talking, planning and playing games. You'd be surprised how much silence there can be with just the four of us on one bus. We are often engrossed in our own interests, warming up, going over songs, writing songs, texting (the others more than me), watching movies and reading (that would be me).

I spend a lot of time in my bunk, getting rest. I like to relax in there in private, curtain closed, and read or watch a movie. Or take a nap. I like to be very prepared and awake, but the drone of the road makes me tired.

Since Bruce banned fans on our bus while moving, I have to get in what I can when I can in my bunk. Not always a comfortable situation. But sex anywhere is better than none. I do prefer hotels.

Our new bus has many comforts and luxuries we didn't have before, so I am rather excited to travel in it. I have not even seen it yet. I guess there's a nice lounge in the back with a big HDTV and all the stations we could want. Good. I like to watch fantasy movies and certain TV shows. I am not a big fan of "reality TV" except this show called "My Cat From Hell" with this interesting character, who claims to be a musician by night and a cat behaviorist by day!

Well, off to bed. I have a song to finish that Bruce wants to put on the set list for the tour. I have a few changes I have to remember to the rider as well (for those who are confused, the rider is a list of those things we band members want on the road... food and such).

Check us out on tour!!!

Monday is the Day

Adrian came back from...well, wherever it is he goes. We asked him about the photo, which I mentioned in my last post. He said the guy in the photo was "just a friend" he went to visit, whom he had not seen in a long time!

I don't know... doesn't look like a casual encounter to me.  He said they traveled around Romania and Europe just to experience the sights. I know it is hard to be a tourist when one is on the road working all the time. We go into a town and barely have time to breathe and sleep before showtime, then it is off to the next city. Adrian stated, in his "Dracula" type accent, that he likes to "get away from it and just be a person."

He did do a bit of a photo shoot over there, here is one photo he allowed us:

Looks a bit sketchy to me. I told him it looks as if he's heading into a hot tub with his male friend. Hah!  Who am I to talk? My ass has been published everywhere. It should bring us publicity, at least in Romania where the shoot was, and as a musician, one can never have too much publicity. You're only as good as your last album. In this day and age, if you even slow down on marketing, branding and promoting, you're gone. It's constant work. Your label does some work, but you have to be behind it pushing at all times.

I have heard, esp from Bruce, what it was like 20 year ago or so.... You  put out an album, toured to promote it and voila! You were a star!  Ok, maybe not that easy. But simpler than today!

Today, all these "indie" musicians are home making CD's and putting them online to buy. I have no problem with that, it's that anyone, no matter how much they stink, can record a CD. If they tour around enough to advertise, they eventually make a name for themselves and then they eventually become famous, even to a small extent.  Rarely are bands "discovered" into instant success. I say that only because we were sort of "discovered" seven years ago. We worked our asses off for it though. We all have fantastic musical backgrounds and we all have tremendous talent. Plus, we put on an amazing show. It's not just about the music, it's about the show! I have a really hard time with these bands that look like they stepped in off the street and just stand there onstage and play. Their music can be good, but with nothing to watch, I get bored. They need more than music. They need a gimick, a show!!

I  think I might start a grant fund for up and coming good musicians to be "discovered" and skip all the red tape.

The Media Knows More Than Us

You would be surprised at the things that photojournalists capture, particular if you are someone famous. The band has had this week off, getting some good rest in before we go back out on the road in December. As usual Adrian's whereabouts remain a mystery. Everything about our drummer is an enigma, as all of you know.

Time and again, my sexcapades have been published for all to see (even some rather risque photos). Bruce's marriage and accusations of infidelity (all false) fill the tabloids. Stephan also has had more than his share of rumors spread about him. The strawberry blond Southern Boy living life as a sex God rock star! But then we have Adrian. Romian import. Shy. Stays behind his drums and rarely ever lets anyone in, not the media, not even us! His bandmates. He spends more time with us than anyone else. We are on the road together almost all year. He watches movies with us, talks and plays card games, even drinks and smokes weed with us. But never has he revealed anything about his private life. When the drumsticks leave his hands and the tour bus is put away, he is gone. We don't see him unless it's band business. Every now and then he will show up at a party or event, always alone.

Female fans hit on him all the time, but he merely excuses himself and heads off to his dressing room or the bus or hotel room. We have never once seen him take a woman, or even a man, to his room. Never seen him show interest in any gender. He is an enigma and he knows we all want to know. We've always wanted to know what is going on inside that all too feminine looking head of his. He's a great musician, and he says that should be enough. He tells us it is no one's business but his! We often ponder on why he became a professional musician, for his lifestyle is so contradictory to the norm. But he makes it work--somehow!  Until now...

It's not much to go on, but a recent photo surfaced on the internet depicting our very own Adrian with his arm around... someone. This photo was taken recently and he is away again on one of his mystery excursions so we cannot contact him. Is this person with him a man or woman? It appears that Adrian sees the camera... is that a sly grin or a sudden realization?  How funny is it that I (and the others) are pondering this photo as if we were outsiders with no connection to this guy whatsoever. When he gets back from wherever it is, we will ask him about this photo.

Is Adrian mocking our lack of knowledge of his personal life?

In the meantime, we have many guesses. All of us think this is a guy because Adrian is 5'11" and how many chicks are taller than that? A Model? So... if this is a dude he has his arm around, does that mean Adrian is gay? Or is this a relative and caught in a "brotherly" moment?

I cannot believe I am doing this... writing a blog anyone can see, speculating about my own bandmate and friend. He always says his private life is his own business, and I suppose it is. But to share nothing with us? In ten years?  Granted, he is the "baby" of the band. He started with us at age 17... or should I say we started with him, as he and Stephan knew one another before Bruce and I met up with them. And even Stephan, who has known him longest, hasn't a clue to his personal life. He has known Adrian a year before the rest of us and he said he never thought to ask.

What do you think?

Accident, Mirror Lady and Band News

So much going on right now, I don't know where to start. You will have to excuse me, it's been a rough week and I have drunk more than my normal dose of wine tonight. It is amazing I can type. Anyway... someone plowed into the rear of my Jaguar today!  There was a bit of fog. I was stopped waiting for the truck in front of me to turn when I heard the crunch and felt the jolt. No one was injured. My car took a bit of damage in the right rear bumper, but the other guy's insurance will cover it.

In other news, I was reminded today why I stay away from mirrors. She came to visit again today... it was as if she knew I had been in an accident, and even though I wasn't hurt at all, the stress of going through all this insurance bullshit is a pain. Now I must rely on the new Ferrari and that car is not always practical to drive wherever I wish to go.

The band is recording again, but I cannot tell you what we are recording, as all of it will be on the next CD. This will be the 2015 tour. Like I mentioned before, we have a few more U.S. dates in December then we take the holidays off. Adrian always returns to Romania for the holidays, Bruce spends it with Caitlyn, Stephan has his mom, dad and siblings. Me... I usually go back to Connecticut and spend time with my mom and dad. And that is what I will do this year. I leave the 21st and return back here the 30th.

I have a few concerts I want to see while I am in New England. Small time stuff, indie musicians and bands. Amazing how much talent is yet to be discovered. If no one was ever "discovered" who would make it?

Might as Well be Home

Hello all. I cannot believed the weather here in South Carolina lately. I might as well be home in Connecticut--I think it's actually warmer there. We've been having exceptionally cold weather down here. I want to go back to Greece!

No, actually, I am quite happy to be home. Touring is an evil necessity of being a rock star. Ok, it's not hugely evil. I meet many gorgeous ladies and seeing new towns is... well, ok, so I never really get to SEE the towns as we are always either working or sleeping! Once in a great while I get to play tourist.

So, a few photos of the band from a photo shoot in Europe.

Me

Adrian

Stephan

So, now that we are home for a short time (we will be doing the last leg of our USA tour in December), I have time to sit back and NOT relax. Writing new songs for future gigs and albums. More work in the studio. Yada Yada. Nothing you will be interested in.

Anyway... my 30th birthday is next month... so strange. 30 years. Wow. I feel old.  Then again, Bruce, who will be 40 next year, thinks I am a baby.

OK, I am going to go pass out now. More maybe tomorrow! What do I have planned?  Not sure really.

Later......................!