Talk About a Buzzkill!

What a day! I was up super early because I had one HELL of a nightmare last night. I don't even want to talk about it!

The entire day I felt like a zombie... or a Walker, if you watch the Walking Dead. Have you ever had a really terrible dream that refused to let go of you all the next day? The rain did not help! Around noon sometime Wolfe barked and my cat jumped off my lap. To be honest, I didn't even know he was ON my lap! I was that out of it! Maybe I am still exhausted, as the doctor had said?

I went over to the monitor to see who dared disturb my misery. Some chick was outside my gate. She was quite attractive... black hair, busty, long legs. Yep! So, I opened the gate!  It was time to get my ass out of the slump. A good roll in the sack is always a pick-me-up.

Her name was Dalia... a Georgia peach! Lovely. She'd brought with her a gift for me, a get well card with a poem inside she had written. It was all about this love she felt for me. Yeah yeah... they all do. I got her a glass of wine. Just the thing to warm her up on this chilly and wet winter day.

As it turned out, she didn't need much warming up. She wasted NO time in finding her way into my jeans. Oh yeah! There's was only one major problem! She wanted to be in my bedroom... on my bureau... the one with the huge antique mirror! WTF.

My favorite opera was playing... (Yes, I like certain operas)... Carl Orff's Carmina Burana. I somehow feel I can relate to this opera.  The words, man... it's CRAZY! If you know archaic Latin you will get it!

“O Fortuna, velut luna, statu variabilis, semper crescis, aut decrescis, vita detestabilis, nunc obdurate, et tunc curat, ludo mentis aciem, egestatem, potestatem, dissolvit ut glaciem, Sors immanis.”

O Fortune, Like the moon, You are changeable, Ever waxing, Ever waning, Hateful life, First oppresses, And then it soothes, As fancy takes it. Poverty. And power, It melts them like ice.”

And not just the first act, either. Listen to that entire opera. It's powerful!

That ended and the Scorpion's "Rock You Like a Hurricane" pounded through the mansion. Have you ever banged during that song? I have written several songs with the same power-beat, but that song is the king of all sex music!

I had Dalia's ass on the dresser, I was so close...her warmth was right there!!!  Then You-Know-Who had to arrive just in time! Yep The Mirror Lady killed my boner! Talk about a buzzkill. Hadn't she tortured me enough by showing up onstage and killing our tour???  WHY CAN'T SHE JUST FUCKING GO AWAY???!!! Ok, big breath.

Dalia wasn't exactly happy. That was it. The end of any amourous encounter today. Sucks! I had to escort her out without explanation. This is frustrating. These illusions are destroying my sex life! Maybe I need to get on some sort of medication or something!!

After that, several drinks were in perfect order! Vodka... Rum... Wine.... anything I could find. I'm still messed up, but at least the alcohol kills the reality of what has happened--of my LIFE!

Merry fucking Christmas, Dane!!

For our fans, always a few tour pics, though the tour was cut short, I try not to disappoint.

Bruce looks like hell. He's all worried about his wife!

Adrian relaxing on the bus.

Hospital and Home and Confusion! Is This really the Life of a Rock Star?

Not sure if this had made news or not, I have not seen the news in several days. I am extremely disappointed, as well as confused and a fragment of my former self. Huh? Yeah, I know. I am most definitely going crazy, which is good for the image of a rock star! Anyway, the most vital part of our stage set did NOT arrive in time Saturday to make the stage. I am not sure whose idea it was, but mirrors were put in place around the stage... massive mirrors. I don't even know where they came from!! Who thought of this?? I guess they felt they needed to fill the gaps where our missing stage dragons would have been! The problem is, they did not know ME!!

So, throughout the concert our laser show bounced off these mirrors, giving all of us headaches! And mid-concert, I saw HER!!!! I can't be sure what happened after that except I landed in the hospital. I really despise hospitals!! I got out as quickly as they allowed. Oh, and remind me to KILL Stephan. He left me with no street clothes, so I had to walk through the hospital in my STAGE COSTUME of all things!

So glad to be home!

If you haven't seen our show, here is a digital rendering a fan made awhile back depicting our stage set, though not an exact replica, it is close.

We have a castle... (ok, not stone and mortar real, but built as a stage set, not digital). Laser lights, pyrotechnics, and so much more. The dragons are the greatest! Set on each side of the stage, staring at each other, laser lights shoot from their eyes and fire breathes from their mouths at certain times. It's all choreographed in perfect timing. One must be careful, however. I was burned once from the fire when I was not in the right place at the right time!!

For parts of the set, I am on a platform behind one dragon that makes it appear as if I am inside its mouth, or on top of it! I use swords as part of my routine.  We have THE most elaborate stage set and routine of ANY rock band that has ever existed... even beating out KISS. Our regular stage show blows their show off the map!!!  We are truly, the "bad boys" of symphonic rock/metal.

And we hope to one day make the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame!

Anyway, I certainly didn't expect to be home so soon!!  What a disappointment that our manager cancelled the entire tour! C'mon, this is just a bump in the road, but he says "You have not been yourself lately, Dane. Get some rest."  Now, what does THAT mean???

I showered and changed and Edna had dinner for me. OMG she had this entire spread! Nothing is a small affair with Edna. My dining room looked like we were having Christmas company. Edna's family stays at the mansion when I am on tour, however, they had gone home when she heard I was coming home early from "exhaustion." Since I was supposed to be on tour no family outings were planned.  It was just me, Edna and the animals.

Anyway, I invited Edna to join me since she cooked such a terrific meal. The real reason I wanted her there was because I needed to vent. I told her everything!  Of course, she had all these crazy ideas on why I see this image, this illusion if you will, in my mirrors. Home mirrors, fine... But mirrors onstage??? This is too fucked up to understand!

She brought up some past life regression theory. Oh really? Why in hell would I relive a past where I see this ginger-haired woman as a reflection in mirrors my entire life???  Does that sound sane to you?

So, I sent her home early, Not because of her theories, mind you, but because I just needed time to myself.

My 30th birthday is SOON... too soon. On the 24th. Thirty. Why does that seem so old to me?

Wait.... Martha said her brother's birthday was the same day. He looked like me. But he lived in the 1920's. Can't be connected. Weird.

I'm going to bed now..... what is next???

Ready for the Tour, New Tour Bus

We leave this week for the last tour of this year! I finally got a chance to see our new tour bus! It's pretty sweet. And also the first one we have had with our band name on it. This one will just be for the four of us. If you read this blog regularly, you know why.

Inside is even nicer than the shiny black exterior. Gorgeous granite counter tops, large living areas with TVs, DVDs, stereos, the works, as well as a cozy lounge in the back with a huge TV. Only four bunks so each one is huge. Our last bus had 6 bunks, 3 stacked up on each side and they were a bit claustrophobic. But with two on each side they are more like regular beds, with all the video and music, lights, ambiance lighting, etc. There's even a large kitchen area for plenty of munchies. Nothing was missed. Bruce and I are best friends that don't always see eye to eye and have our share of tussles. But this bus makes up for a lot. Too bad this is a short tour. It will be an extremely enjoyable one though.

Sweet ride

Even a TV in a small area near the kitchen

I DID ask Bruce to keep the leather furniture to a minimum, as I despise leather... my ass always sticks to it and it's always cold! So, thought some areas have leather (particular eating areas), most have suede or nice soft materials, I am not sure what.... I know leather and suede but I'm not Martha Stewart here, so I don't know the name of everything. My apologies. I suck at describing things.

Here at home, I am getting everything ready to go. My throat is much better, though I do still have a bit of a cough. I will have the bus stocked with plenty of throat lozenges as well as adding extra tea, honey and throat drops on the riders.

See you on tour!!!

Tour Bus Crash

I think this was the scariest thing to happen to me during my entire life on the road. We're touring through Kansas somewhere. Who knows where, as all the roads start to look the same when you're in a tour bus continuously with no breaks between gigs.

It was snowing. I was asleep in my bunk. What all the others were doing, I don't know. Apparently, from what I found out later, a white-out came through in the form of a big snow squall. Cars and truck started skidding all over the place. I don't recall much except being thrown from my bunk and hitting my head on a cabinet. And then chaos!

I think I was in and out of consciousness because I have vague memories--flashes of people running around, someone in my face saying my name and asking how many fingers they were holding up. I remember seeing flashing emergency lights. I awoke in an ambulance. My head felt like someone had put it into a vice. I was released the next day and found out everyone made it out alive. Adrian was in the back of the bus watching TV, so he was ok except for a couple bruises when he fell off the sofa. Stephan sprained a wrist and Bruce received some sort of whiplash. It wasn't a big accident, but we are on leave from pre-tour until we have all recovered.

I came home today, only to find out that S. Carolina is supposed to get hit with snow!! I won't be out in it. I have a concussion and have been relegated to bed for a week. I am not sure about the rest of the pre-tour. The dates and venues are booked far in advance to coincide with the next "real" tour. I think we might cancel the rest of this pre-tour and get everything ready to out on the road for the real thing in March.

Jessica came to see me when I came home. Apparently, she sees our relationship as more than just a dating and physical thing... I guess we're in a relationship now. We will keep my escapades on the road secret.

I have to admit it was nice to see her pretty face. She made brownies and she and Edna have been spoiling me, which I cannot complain about.

I have stitches in my head... fortunately along the hair line so no scar will show and didn't effect my hair. If they had had to cut my hair or shave my head I would have gone into hiding until it grew back! I have an image to uphold, ya know.

So, while Jessica spoils me and I get rest and recover, I will keep everyone informed on what's going down with the tour schedule and the like.

Thanks to all the great fans who came to see us play during the shortened pre-tour. Sorry to those who we cancelled on... the bus has to be repaired, as do we.