Being Sick, Being Bummed.

I am still sick. Since it's moved into my throat, I can't sing. There's nothing more disconcerting to a singer than opening their mouth only to have a squeak come out. More rest. About the only thing I did today, besides work on my music (on the piano, no singing), was to spend some time with my horses. I also went out for a bit to the store to get some wine, vodka and tequila, though I have not touched a drop in 2 days. I have spent far too much time in the bathroom due to all the tea I've been consuming. And honey. I think I can keep the honey market in business. I tried it heated, which is very soothing.

To add insult to injury, I opened a magazine and saw a photo of my ex, Jessica.  I felt a sudden sadness and emptiness. When she lived here, the house seemed full and my bed never empty. I did not even realize I missed her. But it's times like this when the house is so empty and I am alone (other than a bunch of cats). God, how pathetic is that? Coming up on my 30th birthday and I am already an old crazy cat lady!! That was another thing Jessica and I did together. As both animal people, we helped shelters, did charities and rescued cats.

She took her two cats when she left but I still have my six. And my dog. He's always at my side and I adore my pets, but Jessica was a much better conversationalist.

I guess I was so angry at her for leaving, I let myself forget. I can't say I am in love with her. I don't think I've ever been in love. I don't know! But if I have to describe love, then what I felt for Jessica came close.

Well, my throat had better heal within the next few days. We have much rehearsing to do and I need to be able to sing!

I may not want to admit it, but I do miss Jessica.

I wish I could see her again. If only to understand where we went wrong. Okay, I get it, I slept with other women, but in my defense, Jessica was just a girl I was sleeping with who moved into my house. I had no intentions beyond a roommate with amazing benefits. Maybe I made a mistake.

Bonjour Mes Amis

Hello friends. We are here in "Gay Parie" to play the Stade de France. I feel as if my hand might fall off, as I must have signed 1,000 photos of myself at a press conference and meet yesterday!

I practically live in hotel rooms and I can't stand them. Too many mirrors and they're always too big. Like, what's with the steroidal bathroom mirrors in hotels? Pretty hard to cover up and impossible to avoid, even when taking a piss! I am always so afraid my "Mirror Lady" will visit me when I have my penis in my hand. LOL Fortunately, that has not yet happened.

Visited Le Catacombes today. Rarely do I get to do "touristy" stuff when on the road, but since we have a few days here, and jet lag still has me in its grasp (it's 7:17am and I have yet to go to sleep... still on South Carolina time, where it's 1:17am), I decided to be a tourist. Of course, this happens to be their busy season and hundreds of people all waiting to go on down, with a 4 hour wait time did not cut it for me. This is where being famous and rich has its advantages. I was able to buy some time alone in the "tunnels" with the dead! They tried to make me wait until Monday when they are closed to the general public, but we will be in Germany by then!

So, being down in the catacombes gave me time to think. Like for instance, why am I not more upset about my break up with Jess? I miss her, yes. I miss the time we shared together. I miss riding the horses together and watching movies, things like that...ordinary things ordinary people do. My estate is so vast to be alone all the time. Unlike Bruce, who has a wife and a baby on the way. Yet, though I miss her, I do not grieve that she has gone. What does that say? I loved her, but was never IN love with her. Instead I am...what? In love with a delusion in some mirror? Perhaps that explains the note she left me.  Well, it's almost 8:00 in the morning and we have a busy evening, so I suppose I should at least try to get a bit of sleep.  au revoir for now.

Heartbreak!

Jessica left me tonight!  I feel such an ache in my heart yet I understand her reasons for doing so... Such a terrible day! The band's been arguing, so much going on before our tour.... Then I come home to catch her with a man. She said he was her cousin! Yeah right. Without saying a word, I walked away and went upstairs. Jessica came up a short time later.

        “What's wrong?” she asked calmly.

        “Where is he?" I sat on the bed, staring at the door.

         “He left. I told him we needed to talk.”

         “There's nothing to say!”

        She approached me and sat about two feet away. "Dane, I’ve never seen you like this."

        I stood quickly and turned to her. “And I've never seen you with another man before!”

        She rose as well. "I told you he was my cousin. You don't believe me?"

        "Frankly. No!”

        “How dare you!” she screamed in my face. “This coming from a man who screws every woman he meets!”

What sucks most? I slapped her. I've never hit a woman and never fathomed it.

 She left a note on my mirror, the mirror in my bedroom on the antique bureau.... I am feeling so confused right now, and the 3 bottles of wine I have consumed in the last hour have taken their toll. The note is an enigma; something about looking beyond the mirror to see who I really am. Whatever that means!

Perhaps she was tired of my "Mirror Lady," whom I have seen several times this month! Perhaps it was the women she has found photos and videos of... ones recently "conquered," as I call it? What do I do now? Did I love her? I can't answer that question. Life is very complicated. Relationships even more so!

So many question, so few answers. I lose myself in wine and music now!

September 1st we go to Europe to start the next leg of our tour. Then, back to the USA in November for a few more gigs. Home at the end of December. Hopefully, this will keep my mind off Jess.

Funny thing is, here I am, world renowned, famous rock star, women want me, yet I have never felt more alone. Having delusions my entire life (that have yet to be diagnosed despite all the best therapists) doesn't help. The note Jess left me... all about mirrors, about the "Mirror Lady" and about seeing myself. I keep reading it, trying to understand what it all means.

I read about the suicide of comedian Robin Williams. He was one of my favorite comedic actors. Now I feel as if I understand why he killed himself!  I have my music, but where is it going? I have all the money I could ever want or need! I have done it all at a young age, but what do I really have? Meaningless sexcapades? Now, no one waiting for me to come home! I fear gazing into any mirror.... she confuses me. Yet I feel deeply. Something is there! She's a mere delusion. Nothing! A figment of my messed up mind.

I've been having nightmares lately... the few times I do sleep. Usually I am struggling in them, on the edge of death yet somehow hanging on! Yet I wake wondering. Why hang on? Life is too confusing! But I won't give up yet. People look up to me, though why I do not know. I am a public figure. I need to be an inspiration! You haven't a clue the pressure that puts on a person!

Tour deFrance and Walk Through Aiken

The band is getting ready to leave soon, on tour to Europe.  I have to say I prefer to tour the USA because we take the tour buses and don't have to fly. Though I should be used to it, I am just really not a fan of flying. I have done a lot of it in my life and career, but still get some jitters every time I have to get on a plane... especially since 911.  Flying within the US is not too bad and generally shorter flights. But, flying to Europe is always a long trip. We start our tour in France this year... Jessica will not be accompanying us as she has another modeling gig. Why does it always seem she has gigs in the US when we are touring elsewhere? Oh well, C'est laVie.

Speaking of Jessica, we took a long walk today in Hopeland Garden. So pretty this time of year, despite the heat and humidity.  It is east of Hitchcock Woods, where we often take the horses. We live north of the Woods. But, today was just a day for us to enjoy together before we must separate yet again.

Yet another image from a fan... of Jess and I.... This is not a new image, we were saying good bye at the airport in Augusta. I think this was taken a year or so ago.

Weather and Band Stuff

Why do women have such an aversion to men farting in bed at night? Really, ladies, is it that bad? I mean really, you live with us, you see us at our best and worst, so why does a little fart freak you out so much? And... as if YOU don't do it? Hah!

On less icky but not more pleasant news, is the weather report here in Aiken, SC. We're not really any different than the rest of the eastern part of the country, though. I expect this weather in the south, hot and humid (actually, it's not that hot at the moment, but the air is tropical), but I talked to my mom in CT and she says it's just as bad up there. Doesn't look that bad on this screen shot I grabbed from my computer, but it's been back and forth rain, storms, sun, heat. My horses don't know whether they want to be in the cooler barn (I have fans running in there) or outside grazing. They're just kind of in and out. I've been watching them from the house all day. I worked on a new song a bit this morning, but mostly it's hiatus time so I get to hang about, watch The Walking Dead reruns on TV, listen to Jessica bitch about the heat, even though she's with me in a climate controlled mansion (she claims she wants to go out and do something but the heat bothers her).. neither of us are native south, but I've lived down here longer so I guess I got used to it.

It's Frakkin' HOT! Hurricane Arthur?

I admit I am somewhat of a geek, in the sense that I like biology, not so much techno stuff. But I do watch this funky little show called the Big Bang Theory even when I am on the road. It's kind of a goof, even though, with a high IQ myself I have my own opinions of this theory (I don't believe it). Why do I mention this? Because I wrote "frakkin'" in my title for this blog and I got that from the show. LOL Next time I am in CA, I should visit the show set and see if they need a rock star for one of their shows... maybe a geeky one? What say you?

With that in mind.... Jess did it again... took a picture of me sleeping. Gawd!!

I'm enjoying this Moscato I have at my side right now. I tend to drink entire bottles at once. Why waste glasses? Edna has enough to clean up! She would laugh if she knew I was actually thinking about her work load, as I pay her one hell of a damn good wage. She takes care of my cats and dog too! Not my horses though. I have experienced Mexican stable hands for that! I am picky about their care. I am no idiot when it comes to horse care... So they do as I say! My older horse horse has health issues, and even when I am on the road, I call in and be sure to all is well and everyone is following my instructions.

So, South Carolina is frakkin' hot right now! The Dew Point is really high, which makes for very sticky air. So, speaking of the horses, I've been keeping them in during the hot days with fans on them, and out on pasture at night. Am I a good horse dad or what?

So, I have been watching the track of this hurricane... looks like it will miss SC completely. That's good. No need for anything to delay this tour!!

European Tour Coming Up

The band is getting ready now for our upcoming European tour. I cannot wait to see England again, as I feel as if I have some sort of freakish connection to that country. I can't even imagine why, as I have never been there before our first tour overseas back in 2007. Yet, whenever I go there, I know every town and how far the next town is, though I don't always know the streets.

So, we are starting the tour in England and ending it there before coming back home.

It's been rather nice to be home for these few weeks we've had off (well, not really "off" as musicians never stop working).

On a personal note, I went out to my favorite book and music store to get some more reading material. Edna and Jess always bug me about buying an e-reader or some such gadget, but I really do prefer the old fashioned way of opening a real book and reading it. The smell of paper, the feel of the book's weight and texture in my hands.... I know, I am truly old fashioned.

Most of the books I read are history books, particularly about... you guessed it... England.

I am happy to have Jess back home from her modeling job in Europe (she is very big over there as a model of lingerie)... But she loves to snap photos with her cell phone when I least expect and am least ready. Last night, I was sitting in the day room after a show, munching Chinese food, watching a movie in the buff (good thing I had a sheet over me)... I didn't even know she took this photo! Sneaky isn't she?

Beyond Every Mirror I See Her

It's hot here in South Carolina.  Not that that's unique.  Right now it's almost 3am, a steamy night,  and I'm not home.  I finally figured out how to do this blog thing on my phone.

Anyway I think I screwed up. I am truly deficient when it comes to matters of the heart. There was a party tonight and of course I went to it. Jess is still in Europe. Needless to say there was a plethora of women.  The last one just left, so I'm feeling quite satisfied. I'm in the guest bedroom. I'd usually let the young lady or ladies spend the night (love all those naked warm bodies), but I decided to sleep alone tonight. ... out of respect for Jessica.  She's the only lady I fall asleep and wake up with. What difference does it make what happened in between? She's the one who lives in my house and shares my bed at home... a privilege many many women would kill for.

I got up to hit the head and when I came back I saw another reflection on the mirror on the other side of the room.  God damn it all! I threw on the first thing I found...a pair of cotton lounge pants and a t shirt. I guess I'll sleep in this tonight.  What if she returns?  There are several mirrors in this room and even if it is dark and I am asleep I feel her. I dream of her. I know she's there. Though I am accustomed to her presence,  it can at times be disturbing.  I'm not even home. What is this? Is she beyond every mirror in the world?

Sorry, I'm all tied up right now....

Paparazzi and Sex Tapes

As they say down here in the south, I'm angry as a mule with a bur under his tail. What is it with the paparazzi and having to publish ... well, everything. Apparently, a lady fan I was "with" while out on tour videotaped us together... and the media got hold of the tape.... and published pictures from it! Okay, I admit I am quite good at my favorite recreational activity. But I have to keep this from Jess. If she sees this, she'll be the one with the bur under her tail. And I'll be in the dog house.

Yeah, that was a fun night... even though it made it into the media's hands, and I am sure the girl I was with made sure of it... brag about being with a rock star. I have news, girl. You're one in thousands! I won't say her name. Though she showed no respect for my privacy, I will respect hers. Besides, the authorities love to go after rock n rollers. We're all degenerates, you know!

Well, since Jess is still talking to me, she has obviously not seen this. It's on some obscure web site. Stephan was kind enough to point it out to me today.

Well, look at this, it's 2am and the wine is kicking in. I think I'll hit the sack (alone, as Jess is still in Europe). No fans at my house tonight so worries.

Dazed and Confused

Wow! What happened? I saw the Mirror lady again last night, late. Not sure what time. That always fucks with my brain, so I decided to go out. I drove to Atlanta (yeah, Georgia) and went bar-hopping. This is highly unlike me. I almost always get recognized and end up signing autographs and talking to a bunch of fans rather than just relaxing alone or picking up women anonymously.

And here, I drive my freaking Ferrari out to Atlanta of all places! I ended up at some fancy joint called Halo.

I actually had quite the time. As I sat there, sipping away at a Slippery Nipple, I saw a table with these two pretty ladies staring at me, so I went over. I bought them drinks and sat to chat. After a couple hours, I asked if they wanted to get out of there and they agreed.

I couldn't fit both of them in my car!  I wasn't about to bring them home... too far, and Jess was home. So, I followed them to one of their homes.

Have you ever had wild sex with two women at once? Not my first time, but damn these GA Peaches had talents. They could get into positions I didn't think possible... apparently, they're both dancers...exotic dancers.

Ok... try doing one as the other gets into this wild gymnastic-like position above her friend, so her... not sure I can use the word here.... is in your face! And after, they switched. They put to shame almost all the other women I've been with! They performed moves I didn't think possible. I believe these two read the Kama Sutra... and memorized it!! Add in plenty of booze and weed=perfect night.

Turns out, they did know who I am, but didn't want to make me uncomfortable by mentioning it. I thank them for that! Crazy night. Not sure if they invited me to stay or not, but I fell asleep (or passed out) in the bed and woke to find them on either side of me... Ahhh flesh to flesh! And more fun once we were all awake. Insatiable women are the best! Then, they made me breakfast as well!

Sex, wild sex, and even more sex, plus breakfast. It gets no better than this my friends.

Let's just say Jess was not happy when I arrived home at noon in the same clothes I left in.... I think she suspects. She knew I didn't have band practice last night, so I told her I went to Stephan's for the night. He'll back me up!

I recommend a night like that to all males out there!! It'll cure whatever may ail you. Made me forget all about the Mirror Lady! Bliss, to be able to forget my crazy delusions for a night instead of letting them drag me down as they generally do.

Communication and its Necessity

So... I had a long talk with Jessica today. I explained to her that what I said was the truth. I really do see this Mirror Lady.... it's random, but it's been happening my entire life. Maybe I am mentally ill, I don't know. But when I see her, I can't control the emotions. I become lost and confused. I feel things I am not accustomed to feeling.

She forgave me last night's discrepancy. I can't blame her for having trouble understanding. Would you? I took her out for a fancy dinner so we could talk in public, over a nice setting. I was so nervous, I could barely eat. I really like Jess, and want her to be happy.

I swore to her it is all true. I am still not sure if she believes me or not. She said she believed that I believed it... isn't that a euphemism for "I don't really believe you, I think you are nuts"???

Since we arrived home, I have had 3 bottles of wine and 2 slippery nipples. I know.... I drink too much. Kinda hard to avoid when you see one woman in your mirrors and a "real" women is right there in front of you...ready to have a life with you. I feel like I am being torn in 2 directions. Ripped in half. Trust me, it is not a good feeling.

It will be nice to get away on tour and leave all this bullshit behind me. Plenty of women on tour... None that have expectations beyond the carnal!

In Trouble with the Gal

What is it with women? I think I am in trouble with Jess.  It's really not my fault. After rehearsals and 10 hours of work preparing for the Spring Tour, I was absolutely exhausted. I came home and just wanted a bit of rest, a reprieve. Jess had dinner made (I guess Edna has been teaching her my favorite dishes, but unfortunately there was no tuna sandwich available)... Speaking of tuna and off the topic a bit... have you ever ridden Amtrak trains? I kid you not, they have the BEST tuna sandwiches on the planet!!

Anyway, I went into the bathroom off the den (one of the few rooms with a mirror). I was washing my face and hands... and when I looked up... Well, let's just say SHE was there. No not Jess. HER!! I couldn't stop staring. She has such amazing long auburn hair and hypnotic amber eyes. I have just never seen anyone like her. I felt like I wanted to leap into the mirror and grab her!

Needless to say, by the time her image faded, I was enthralled beyond words. And no longer hungry. I grabbed a bottle of wine from the fridge, sat in front of the fireplace in the den and drank.

Jessica came in to let me know dinner was ready, but... well, I was full.... with wine. Oh she was so angry. I must have been a bit drunk because, for all intense and purposes, I told her my secret. The whole thing!! Boy, was she pissed off! She stormed off and I have not seen her since.

So, tell me, what is it with women? I was honest! So, why is she mad at me?

I guess that means more left overs in the fridge.

Tour Bus Crash

I think this was the scariest thing to happen to me during my entire life on the road. We're touring through Kansas somewhere. Who knows where, as all the roads start to look the same when you're in a tour bus continuously with no breaks between gigs.

It was snowing. I was asleep in my bunk. What all the others were doing, I don't know. Apparently, from what I found out later, a white-out came through in the form of a big snow squall. Cars and truck started skidding all over the place. I don't recall much except being thrown from my bunk and hitting my head on a cabinet. And then chaos!

I think I was in and out of consciousness because I have vague memories--flashes of people running around, someone in my face saying my name and asking how many fingers they were holding up. I remember seeing flashing emergency lights. I awoke in an ambulance. My head felt like someone had put it into a vice. I was released the next day and found out everyone made it out alive. Adrian was in the back of the bus watching TV, so he was ok except for a couple bruises when he fell off the sofa. Stephan sprained a wrist and Bruce received some sort of whiplash. It wasn't a big accident, but we are on leave from pre-tour until we have all recovered.

I came home today, only to find out that S. Carolina is supposed to get hit with snow!! I won't be out in it. I have a concussion and have been relegated to bed for a week. I am not sure about the rest of the pre-tour. The dates and venues are booked far in advance to coincide with the next "real" tour. I think we might cancel the rest of this pre-tour and get everything ready to out on the road for the real thing in March.

Jessica came to see me when I came home. Apparently, she sees our relationship as more than just a dating and physical thing... I guess we're in a relationship now. We will keep my escapades on the road secret.

I have to admit it was nice to see her pretty face. She made brownies and she and Edna have been spoiling me, which I cannot complain about.

I have stitches in my head... fortunately along the hair line so no scar will show and didn't effect my hair. If they had had to cut my hair or shave my head I would have gone into hiding until it grew back! I have an image to uphold, ya know.

So, while Jessica spoils me and I get rest and recover, I will keep everyone informed on what's going down with the tour schedule and the like.

Thanks to all the great fans who came to see us play during the shortened pre-tour. Sorry to those who we cancelled on... the bus has to be repaired, as do we.

Pre-Tour and Band Pranks

Sorry for the long wait in writing. The band is busy with our "pre-tour." Everyone knows by now that Bruce, the born-again buzz kill, has banned fans from our tour bus! At least when he is in it. ha ha.

Anyway, as we cruise down 64 in West Virginia, by now all the other band members are asleep, I have a bit of a story to tell you all, my great and loyal fans. Yeah, ok, so I have had a few drinks. Trust me, it gets me through and helps me sleep. At least I avoid drugs, like Meth or Heroin. What's wrong with a couple Slippery Nipples (haha, I can think of some damn good things I can do with nipples)....?

Yesterday, after we finished with our small concert (which, by the way got a raving reception. Our new songs are getting grand reviews), and headed back out on the road (sometimes these "pre-tours" (Bruce's idea) can be more pain-staking than the real thing... we don't stay, we don't stop). It's rather like touring when we were a small band trying to make our way in music. Grueling!

Anyway, I decided since Bruce was remaining in the venue to go over some instrumentals and choral review with the others, I'd slip back to the tour bus with the latest hottie I met at the concert. I tend to like dark hair, unlike most who love the bleached blondes. I like all natural (no fake boobs, thank you). She seemed nice enough. Her name.... oh damn, I can't remember.

Anyway, I brought her to my bunk, intending on a bit of "release" after the concert when I saw something on my bunk that was not mine. Adrian's damn technological reading machine called a "Kindle." It was on and open to some book about a whore of 80's rock.... open to the chapter on this 15 year old chick losing her virginity in 1980 to Billy Squire.A quick peak told me this girl had screwed just about ever musician in the 1980's.

Kinda put a damper on my evening. I don't know yet what Adrian was trying to prove. I tossed the reading machine back in HIS bunk and had a really good time with... oh damn....what was her name...? 

Once back on the road, Adrian explained to me that this book had reminded him of me on the road... any girl at any "port."  I told him I was fine and needed no intervention. My sex life was just fine, thank you. It was then he reminded me of Jessica. She and I had hit it off pretty well and we were, well, dating. But, she wasn't there and I saw no reason not to indulge. We weren't married after all.

Would you say no??

Busy Busy

As we prepare for our "pre-tour" the band has been working very hard. You can find our tour schedule on our web page or any of the venues' ticket sites. This is what I am told. Again, I am so new to technology, having chose to live in the "dark ages" most of my life... other than the technology music has achieved.

We only travel for a month on our pre-tour, which is nice so I can spend more time at home, with my animals... and actually... well, with Jessica. She and I have been spending quite a bit of time together lately. I cannot say "I love you" at this point, but perhaps one day.....

One thing at a time.

I have to apologize for my absence as of late. The pre-tour takes up so much of my time, preparing the new song list we will want to try when we go on tour for real. I wrote a new song recently I am hoping the fans will love and want to see on the tour's set list. It's a ballad and not so much the heavier stuff we have been doing recently. With the orchestral accompaniment, it should prove to (hopefully) be quite a crowd pleaser.

Hope to see you on our pre-tour.

Happy New Year

I went to Stephan's party tonight and guess who was there? Jessica!

Unfortunately, she fell asleep in the limo on the way back to my house. I woke her just long enough to get into the house. She stumbled up the stairs, down the hall and to my bedroom, draped over my arm. She had a wicked amount to drink tonight. I had a few, but not my usual amount, which is good since I would not have been able to practically carry her through the house. I had to help her undress (I am NOT complaining), but she passed out as soon as she was in my bed. I stood there, staring at her, slumbering peacefully.

"I guess sex is out of the question," I said to her. She didn't respond.

What can I say? I was pleased she was at the party. She really is fun to talk to, and talk we did. I don't think I spoke to more than a few other people all night. At one point in the evening, Stephan said to me, "maybe it's finally happening for you, Dane." The "it" meaning love or a relationship. I am not so sure about that, but Jessica is one of the first girls I have taken home more than once! I've also spent more time talking to her than I have any other woman before. Not only do we have much in common, but she is actually fun to listen to!

Well, off to shower and bed for me, and hope for at least a good morning.

Happy New Year.

Sex, Drugs and Rock n Roll

If you can't handle the truth of life on the road, then don't read this.

Sex, booze and rock and roll. I don't do any kind of hard drugs, a little weed once in awhile after a show to unwind. Unlike many famous musicians, drugs were never my gig. My entire life has been spent in mass delusion all on its own, so why would I?  Drink, on the other hand. It helps unwind me. I don't smoke cigarettes (quit in 2008). My voice is important and made me millions. I'm not about to compromise my livelihood.  As for sex, well...

I have to admit it. I'm a sex addict. There is nothing that calms the nerves like a good roll in the hay with a perfectly gorgeous woman! On the road, it's easy. One or two a night, move on to the next city. Two or three, move on again. I keep a list on my cell phone with a photo file. I can never remember names. They are in alphabetical order by city. Some have red X's beside them. Those are the chicks to steer clear of... to make sure they do NOT get backstage passes! I keep my road manager in charge of that one. He knows my type, if I have one. I prefer dark hair. And dark eyes. I have black hair, but my eyes are blue. Like  silver blue, which is weird, right? Sometimes I wear brown contact lenses just to appear more "normal."

Being the 'front man,' the women flock my way anyhow (plus, Bruce is loyally and sickeningly married, Stephan has a gal (for now) and Adrian... well, we're never sure what his deal is. Is he gay, is he straight, somewhere in between? We don't really know. We've never seen him with anyone at all. He is married to music and that seems to be what gets him off. He is shy and prefers to stay behind his drums. Maybe all that rhythmic banging is compensation for something. We tease him mercilessly on the road, but he never talks).

Back on subject, after all the confusion last night, I really needed a "fix." I couldn't call Jess because she was part of the problem. Living out here in Aiken, SC, there's very little temptation, which is part of the reason I moved out here as opposed to living along the coast where the rest of the band reside. I like my private life, and though I do bring girls home, and sometimes they find me, most of the time it is just me, Edna, the animals and the house staff. Most of the songs I contribute are written right here at home and if I allowed my addiction full rein here I'd never get any work done. So, I ride my horses, choreograph sword fights I can later use onstage, and work on music to get out any frustration.

Tonight, however, none of that would do! So, I went out to a local bar. I'd never been there before, but I was recognized immediately and ushered through the door to a prime location and free drinks. Normally, I don't want the attention on me, but tonight I did. And I got it. Several gorgeous brunettes raped me with their stares. The hell with it. I brought two of them home! They just left, as I didn't want them sleeping in my house all night. I had my driver bring them wherever they wished to go.

At least that released a bit of tension. Perhaps tomorrow I will call Jessica and see if she wants to get together and go out again.  What is it about that girl??

Dazed and Confused

I feel like a page from a Led Zeppelin memoir. "Dazed and confused for so long it's not true..." What is true and what is delusion?  "Wanted a woman, never bargained for you..." So, who did I bargain for? Jessica, whose company I enjoy, who is music to my eyes... Or HER... the mystery woman who seems to grasp hold of my heart as well as my sanity every time I see her?

I saw her again today. I really have to learn to avoid mirrors more, but it's rather hard to shave and groom oneself without that stupid reflective piece of glass!

I wasn't even home this time, however. I was with the band, recording at a studio in Charleston. I went to the little boy's room and when I was washing my hands, I looked up into the mirror.

"Aw Fresh Hell!!"

She looked beautiful. Not that exotic, big breasted beautiful like Jessica. Actually, this lady, who seems as familiar to me as seeing myself, is plain in comparison. But her extraordinary long auburn hair hung in a single braid pulled to the front and she wore a blue tunic that looked like something from a Documentary on the Middle Ages. It was belted tight over a very slender waist. As a matter of fact, she is quite petite. But, every time I see her, I am lost. I am gone. I cease to exist. I have no idea who I become, but it's not the me I am accustomed to seeing.

So, now, I have Jessica, a physical flesh and blood woman I seem to be hitting it off with quite well, and then this... delusion? But how can a man feel for a delusion? All I know is that I have some thinking to do. I don't quite know what it is I need to think about, but the confusion in my mind and the tornado of emotion running through me tell me I cannot just let this go.

Wish me luck!

Jessica!

I cannot believe I slept the day away. I didn't wake until after 2 in the afternoon. When I did, the only warm body in the bed beside me was my dog. I rose and threw on a pair of jeans and wandered downstairs. Edna was in the kitchen, as she often is, since she is my cook and head of all the help in my house.

"Merry Christmas, Mister Dane," she said as I wandered, yawning, into the kitchen. For a moment, my brain thought it was actually Christmas, but then I remembered that was yesterday, I had been at Stephan's party and met a gorgeous lady named Jessica. I remember little else, except the magnificent sex. Ok, ok, I don't want your kids reading that, and I have to keep this blog rated at a low level... I know lots of teens listen to our music and attend our concerts... perhaps they read this blog?

Jessica! Yes, she had left while I slept, but Edna explained. "She came down and introduced herself. Did you even get to know this girl or was it all physical?" She said the statement like a mother reaming out a teenage son. But, that's Edna... my "second mother." Edna knows everything about me... and I do mean everything. More than my own mother. She even knows the full extent of my secret--all my secrets.

Anyway, she continued, "Your friend Jessica said she had to get to work and to tell you to call her." At that, Edna offered a little chuckle. She also knows that my experience with women tended to last no more than a night, maybe two if they impress me.

And Jessica had impressed me! Not just in bed. But, I recall something about her work and feeling as if I wanted to hear more. I was too drunk and high to recall details, but I remember feeling like there was more to this girl than her looks and talents in the sack. She did leave her phone number, so, in rare fashion for me, I think I will call and see if she would like a proper date.

Later in the afternoon, Stephan called. At first, he screamed at me for "stealing his gal." But, as it turns out, he had makings on her as well. I just got there first. I told him she wouldn't have been interested in his ugly mug anyway! He knew I was joking... well, sort of. haha.

Well, I actually hope to see her again. I think I'm in like... no really, but there really is something special about her!

I will let you know if I hook up with her again.

Long Day, Is it Bedtime yet?

Hello fans.

I went to Stephan's house for what turned out to be a pretty wild Christmas party tonight. As I write this, there is a pretty gal asleep (or should I say, passed out), in my bed upstairs. I met her at the party, which boasted about 300 people! When Stephan throws a party, it is no small affair. Of course we were all there, Bruce and his wife (of course), myself and Adrian. As usual, Adrian came alone.... what's his deal, anyway?

I didn't exactly go there with any expectations, but this very beautiful woman with long flowing dark hair, striking blue eyes and the biggest natural breasts I have ever had my hands on, was there. A friend or fan. I've had too much to drink to remember which.

She introduced herself as Jessica. Pretty name... and I can't believe I remember. 

We both had a bit too much to drink, but since I left the car in the garage and had my limo take me to the party, I didn't have to worry about driving. Long story short, Jessica and I ended up back here in my house. After some crazy sex (which I will keep secret except to say this girl is LIMBER), she passed out but, as usual, I cannot sleep. I need more of that! So, in a few minutes I will go upstairs and see if she is awake! 

Never mind waiting. The thought of her has me needing to head up there now. Later dudes!