I don't write much on this anymore. I really see no point. By now, all my fans have read the news, read about my "abduction." But none know what I truly lost while I was gone all those months. For me it was mere days. For the world several months. I aged, the world aged. Yet she does not. Even if she had survived, she would be the same. My forever beauty.
Those that took me, those that tortured me, those that nearly killed me. Still, the scars they left on my body cannot compare to the scar on my heart.
The band is on tour now, traveling from one city to the next. What used to be fun, exciting, a new conquest in each city, is now just a job. A chore. There is no mirror reflecting her image, keeping the loneliness at bay!
I miss the long ginger of her hair, the scent of the wooded lands that clung to her like a welcome home. I miss talking to her, her innocence and her fascination with all the tiniest things in this world that we humans take for granted. She wanted so to see them all, to feel, smell, taste every experience this world of ours has to offer.
If I could return to her world, to change what had been. To know. To take down the threat that took her in my stead, I would try. I would succeed. And she would live on, though I would have perished. Yes, I would gladly have taken her place.
I wish I had more to offer, my dear fans. I still love you all. Bear with me. My life is upside down right now. I hope you will understand. It took months to be able to get dressed, much less leave the estate.
I finally needed to get the dirge I wrote for her out and into the public. "My Timeless Love" has become an instant hit.
Showing posts with label Mirror Lady. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mirror Lady. Show all posts
Sunday, August 9, 2015
Saturday, January 10, 2015
Hello Fans, it's Me -- Stephan. So Many Theories Behind Dane's Disappearance
Hello Dark Myst and Dane Bainbridge fans, readers of this blog. This is Stephan Gale. I have not written on this blog until now due to the fact that this has been very hard on me, as I see Bruce mentioned in an earlier post.
You see, though it seems stupid, I persuaded Dane to start this blog. For some strange reason, that's kept me from typing in it. Made me feel like I was stepping on Dane's personal space or something. But, my buddy has been missing over 3 weeks now, the police have given up the search because the trail is cold, as they said. They are convinced he up and left, but they don't know Dane as I do. He would never do that! Those of us who know him best are certain of it.
And I am certain we will see him again. I just feel it! I can't speculate on where he went. Dane has never said a word to me to indicate he would go anywhere. But here is what I do know... and this is not new news, as the police and detectives have questioned all of us on everything, especially me since Dane and I are closest personally rather than only professionally. The night of the concert in MN last month, Bruce said he saw someone in one of the mirrors onstage. I didn't see her, I was faced away and didn't look until I heard the squeal of the amps when Dane dropped his mic. By that time, I turned to see my friend disappear into the heavy smoke machine fog. I threw off my bass and ran over.
Bruce admitted he saw this girl in the mirror onstage! Police thought he was seeing someone from the audience but he insisted she was ONLY in the mirror! Detectives assume a crazed fan took Dane... or that he ran off with her. Bruce said something about thinking this girl may be behind Dane's disappearance in some way, but he wasn't sure Dane took off with her voluntarily. Apparently, Bruce told Dane after the concert that he saw this girl.
Like I said, I didn't see her, but Bruce said she just vanished. I guess there were people behind the mirrors but none of them looked like her and no one saw her. They all said they saw just the back of a big mirror. No one saw anyone go by, nothing. Especially not a woman dressed the way Bruce claimed. Our fans can at times have some interesting dress codes, but nothing like that. I would think she would have been noticed, and Bruce insists on it.
Personally, I think there's something about her that is behind Dane's disappearance. Is this some elaborate prank someone has played? I don't know. I would think nothing of the image in that mirror if it weren't for the fact Bruce saw her. Bruce makes up nothing! WTF??
Mostly, the detectives say they think he ran away with this girl. They all say because there's zero evidence of any foul play, and because he's a rock star (which, by their terms means unstable), and by the amount of booze bottles found in his house they think he's an alcoholic or something, so they say he just decided to go on a wild trip somewhere. Um, no! Dane wouldn't just up and leave.
Somehow, I have to find this girl. Based on a description from Bruce, the police have come up with a sketch of her, though they have no leads on who she is or where she might be. One of their theories is that Dane ran off with her. They apparently don't know him as I do.
Anyway, this is the sketch.
Jesus, I have seen better sketches by 5 year olds! Not much to go on...
Please keep positive vibes going for Dane's safe return.
Thank you!
Stephan Gale
South Carolina, January 2015
You see, though it seems stupid, I persuaded Dane to start this blog. For some strange reason, that's kept me from typing in it. Made me feel like I was stepping on Dane's personal space or something. But, my buddy has been missing over 3 weeks now, the police have given up the search because the trail is cold, as they said. They are convinced he up and left, but they don't know Dane as I do. He would never do that! Those of us who know him best are certain of it.
And I am certain we will see him again. I just feel it! I can't speculate on where he went. Dane has never said a word to me to indicate he would go anywhere. But here is what I do know... and this is not new news, as the police and detectives have questioned all of us on everything, especially me since Dane and I are closest personally rather than only professionally. The night of the concert in MN last month, Bruce said he saw someone in one of the mirrors onstage. I didn't see her, I was faced away and didn't look until I heard the squeal of the amps when Dane dropped his mic. By that time, I turned to see my friend disappear into the heavy smoke machine fog. I threw off my bass and ran over.
Bruce admitted he saw this girl in the mirror onstage! Police thought he was seeing someone from the audience but he insisted she was ONLY in the mirror! Detectives assume a crazed fan took Dane... or that he ran off with her. Bruce said something about thinking this girl may be behind Dane's disappearance in some way, but he wasn't sure Dane took off with her voluntarily. Apparently, Bruce told Dane after the concert that he saw this girl.
Like I said, I didn't see her, but Bruce said she just vanished. I guess there were people behind the mirrors but none of them looked like her and no one saw her. They all said they saw just the back of a big mirror. No one saw anyone go by, nothing. Especially not a woman dressed the way Bruce claimed. Our fans can at times have some interesting dress codes, but nothing like that. I would think she would have been noticed, and Bruce insists on it.
Personally, I think there's something about her that is behind Dane's disappearance. Is this some elaborate prank someone has played? I don't know. I would think nothing of the image in that mirror if it weren't for the fact Bruce saw her. Bruce makes up nothing! WTF??
Mostly, the detectives say they think he ran away with this girl. They all say because there's zero evidence of any foul play, and because he's a rock star (which, by their terms means unstable), and by the amount of booze bottles found in his house they think he's an alcoholic or something, so they say he just decided to go on a wild trip somewhere. Um, no! Dane wouldn't just up and leave.
Somehow, I have to find this girl. Based on a description from Bruce, the police have come up with a sketch of her, though they have no leads on who she is or where she might be. One of their theories is that Dane ran off with her. They apparently don't know him as I do.
Anyway, this is the sketch.
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| police sketch of the woman who Dane apparently ran away with! Yeah right! |
Jesus, I have seen better sketches by 5 year olds! Not much to go on...
Anyway, it's "sketchy" what she looks like. Bruce (and apparently, Dane) saw her, but so far no one else has. The police are interviewing a LOT of people in this case. So far, Bruce is the only one admitting he saw her, but Dane obviously did too. Apparently, he was staring at her when he collapsed. What is this--some sort of fucking fantasy novel?? How can a woman be there, yet not exist? I wish I had seen her, I have a feeling it would give me more information. But I have none, and it is frustrating the crap out of me!
OMG Dane... where are you?
Some pics I found on Dane's computer....
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| Dane with a rescue cat. Not one of his. He's a cat guy. |
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| Some party. I am not sure where this was taken. |
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| Wasted at some party. What else is new? |
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| Here's one of me I found on Dane's computer. |
Thank you!
Stephan Gale
South Carolina, January 2015
Friday, December 26, 2014
Post from Bruce Tomkin. MISSING!
I am sure by now most have heard the news that Dane has gone missing and no one knows where he is. It was in the Aiken news, as well as all over the world, I am sure. I have not been watching, as all of us are very concerned.
I did not even know he was keeping up with this blog until I came here to his home yesterday and saw it open on his laptop. I looked through it to see if there is any clue as to Dane's whereabouts, but it says nothing and gives no hints. I decided since his fans read this, I would put up this post on Dane's blog in order to reach out to all. If anyone has any clues, please let us know!
All I can tell you is that when his maid, Edna came to work yesterday morning, Dane was not here. She said his cars were in the garage, nothing was touched. The house doors were locked from the inside and no windows were broken. Police said they saw no signs of a struggle of any kind.
I can't really tell you any more than his blog already has. He stated he was going for a ride on one of his horses, despite the rain. But both horses were stabled. The stable hand who cares for the animals stated to police that she saw signs Camelot had been ridden by some "unbrushed sweat marks on his back." but, she said, all the tack was hung up and in its usual place, so that rules out the chance he had fallen and was lying in a ditch somewhere. In any event, there is a massive search on in Aiken and especially around the area of Hitchcock Woods near his house. They are fingerprinting everything, and I had to get special permission just to post on his computer.
They have scoured the house thoroughly. The police said it looks like he had showered and shaved, and they found a recently used towel in his bedroom. Otherwise, he's just--gone!
I have to tell you we are all very worried. We had rescheduled our tour for January, after Dane's collapse onstage this month. And I have to be honest, I wonder if there's any connection to the woman I saw in that mirror onstage before Dane collapsed and his going missing, though I cannot imagine how that would be. Having spoken to Dane about it, this is not a new occurrence for him.
For now, we cannot even speculate on what might have happened to him. We are just hoping he shows up (alive, please), and this is some strange misunderstanding.
--Bruce Tomkin, Aiken, SC
I did not even know he was keeping up with this blog until I came here to his home yesterday and saw it open on his laptop. I looked through it to see if there is any clue as to Dane's whereabouts, but it says nothing and gives no hints. I decided since his fans read this, I would put up this post on Dane's blog in order to reach out to all. If anyone has any clues, please let us know!
All I can tell you is that when his maid, Edna came to work yesterday morning, Dane was not here. She said his cars were in the garage, nothing was touched. The house doors were locked from the inside and no windows were broken. Police said they saw no signs of a struggle of any kind.
I can't really tell you any more than his blog already has. He stated he was going for a ride on one of his horses, despite the rain. But both horses were stabled. The stable hand who cares for the animals stated to police that she saw signs Camelot had been ridden by some "unbrushed sweat marks on his back." but, she said, all the tack was hung up and in its usual place, so that rules out the chance he had fallen and was lying in a ditch somewhere. In any event, there is a massive search on in Aiken and especially around the area of Hitchcock Woods near his house. They are fingerprinting everything, and I had to get special permission just to post on his computer.
They have scoured the house thoroughly. The police said it looks like he had showered and shaved, and they found a recently used towel in his bedroom. Otherwise, he's just--gone!
I have to tell you we are all very worried. We had rescheduled our tour for January, after Dane's collapse onstage this month. And I have to be honest, I wonder if there's any connection to the woman I saw in that mirror onstage before Dane collapsed and his going missing, though I cannot imagine how that would be. Having spoken to Dane about it, this is not a new occurrence for him.
For now, we cannot even speculate on what might have happened to him. We are just hoping he shows up (alive, please), and this is some strange misunderstanding.
--Bruce Tomkin, Aiken, SC
Tuesday, December 23, 2014
Talk About a Buzzkill!
The entire day I felt like a zombie... or a Walker, if you watch the Walking Dead. Have you ever had a really terrible dream that refused to let go of you all the next day? The rain did not help! Around noon sometime Wolfe barked and my cat jumped off my lap. To be honest, I didn't even know he was ON my lap! I was that out of it! Maybe I am still exhausted, as the doctor had said?
I went over to the monitor to see who dared disturb my misery. Some chick was outside my gate. She was quite attractive... black hair, busty, long legs. Yep! So, I opened the gate! It was time to get my ass out of the slump. A good roll in the sack is always a pick-me-up.
Her name was Dalia... a Georgia peach! Lovely. She'd brought with her a gift for me, a get well card with a poem inside she had written. It was all about this love she felt for me. Yeah yeah... they all do. I got her a glass of wine. Just the thing to warm her up on this chilly and wet winter day.
As it turned out, she didn't need much warming up. She wasted NO time in finding her way into my jeans. Oh yeah! There's was only one major problem! She wanted to be in my bedroom... on my bureau... the one with the huge antique mirror! WTF.
My favorite opera was playing... (Yes, I like certain operas)... Carl Orff's Carmina Burana. I somehow feel I can relate to this opera. The words, man... it's CRAZY! If you know archaic Latin you will get it!
“O Fortuna, velut luna, statu variabilis, semper crescis, aut decrescis, vita detestabilis, nunc obdurate, et tunc curat, ludo mentis aciem, egestatem, potestatem, dissolvit ut glaciem, Sors immanis.”
O Fortune, Like the moon, You are changeable, Ever waxing, Ever waning, Hateful life, First oppresses, And then it soothes, As fancy takes it. Poverty. And power, It melts them like ice.”
And not just the first act, either. Listen to that entire opera. It's powerful!
That ended and the Scorpion's "Rock You Like a Hurricane" pounded through the mansion. Have you ever banged during that song? I have written several songs with the same power-beat, but that song is the king of all sex music!
I had Dalia's ass on the dresser, I was so close...her warmth was right there!!! Then You-Know-Who had to arrive just in time! Yep The Mirror Lady killed my boner! Talk about a buzzkill. Hadn't she tortured me enough by showing up onstage and killing our tour??? WHY CAN'T SHE JUST FUCKING GO AWAY???!!! Ok, big breath.
Dalia wasn't exactly happy. That was it. The end of any amourous encounter today. Sucks! I had to escort her out without explanation. This is frustrating. These illusions are destroying my sex life! Maybe I need to get on some sort of medication or something!!
After that, several drinks were in perfect order! Vodka... Rum... Wine.... anything I could find. I'm still messed up, but at least the alcohol kills the reality of what has happened--of my LIFE!
Merry fucking Christmas, Dane!!
For our fans, always a few tour pics, though the tour was cut short, I try not to disappoint.
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| Bruce looks like hell. He's all worried about his wife! |
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| Adrian relaxing on the bus. |
Monday, December 22, 2014
Hospital and Home and Confusion! Is This really the Life of a Rock Star?
Not sure if this had made news or not, I have not seen the news in several days. I am extremely disappointed, as well as confused and a fragment of my former self. Huh? Yeah, I know. I am most definitely going crazy, which is good for the image of a rock star! Anyway, the most vital part of our stage set did NOT arrive in time Saturday to make the stage. I am not sure whose idea it was, but mirrors were put in place around the stage... massive mirrors. I don't even know where they came from!! Who thought of this?? I guess they felt they needed to fill the gaps where our missing stage dragons would have been! The problem is, they did not know ME!!
So, throughout the concert our laser show bounced off these mirrors, giving all of us headaches! And mid-concert, I saw HER!!!! I can't be sure what happened after that except I landed in the hospital. I really despise hospitals!! I got out as quickly as they allowed. Oh, and remind me to KILL Stephan. He left me with no street clothes, so I had to walk through the hospital in my STAGE COSTUME of all things!
So glad to be home!
If you haven't seen our show, here is a digital rendering a fan made awhile back depicting our stage set, though not an exact replica, it is close.
We have a castle... (ok, not stone and mortar real, but built as a stage set, not digital). Laser lights, pyrotechnics, and so much more. The dragons are the greatest! Set on each side of the stage, staring at each other, laser lights shoot from their eyes and fire breathes from their mouths at certain times. It's all choreographed in perfect timing. One must be careful, however. I was burned once from the fire when I was not in the right place at the right time!!
For parts of the set, I am on a platform behind one dragon that makes it appear as if I am inside its mouth, or on top of it! I use swords as part of my routine. We have THE most elaborate stage set and routine of ANY rock band that has ever existed... even beating out KISS. Our regular stage show blows their show off the map!!! We are truly, the "bad boys" of symphonic rock/metal.
And we hope to one day make the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame!
Anyway, I certainly didn't expect to be home so soon!! What a disappointment that our manager cancelled the entire tour! C'mon, this is just a bump in the road, but he says "You have not been yourself lately, Dane. Get some rest." Now, what does THAT mean???
I showered and changed and Edna had dinner for me. OMG she had this entire spread! Nothing is a small affair with Edna. My dining room looked like we were having Christmas company. Edna's family stays at the mansion when I am on tour, however, they had gone home when she heard I was coming home early from "exhaustion." Since I was supposed to be on tour no family outings were planned. It was just me, Edna and the animals.
Anyway, I invited Edna to join me since she cooked such a terrific meal. The real reason I wanted her there was because I needed to vent. I told her everything! Of course, she had all these crazy ideas on why I see this image, this illusion if you will, in my mirrors. Home mirrors, fine... But mirrors onstage??? This is too fucked up to understand!
She brought up some past life regression theory. Oh really? Why in hell would I relive a past where I see this ginger-haired woman as a reflection in mirrors my entire life??? Does that sound sane to you?
So, I sent her home early, Not because of her theories, mind you, but because I just needed time to myself.
My 30th birthday is SOON... too soon. On the 24th. Thirty. Why does that seem so old to me?
Wait.... Martha said her brother's birthday was the same day. He looked like me. But he lived in the 1920's. Can't be connected. Weird.
I'm going to bed now..... what is next???
So, throughout the concert our laser show bounced off these mirrors, giving all of us headaches! And mid-concert, I saw HER!!!! I can't be sure what happened after that except I landed in the hospital. I really despise hospitals!! I got out as quickly as they allowed. Oh, and remind me to KILL Stephan. He left me with no street clothes, so I had to walk through the hospital in my STAGE COSTUME of all things!
So glad to be home!
If you haven't seen our show, here is a digital rendering a fan made awhile back depicting our stage set, though not an exact replica, it is close.
We have a castle... (ok, not stone and mortar real, but built as a stage set, not digital). Laser lights, pyrotechnics, and so much more. The dragons are the greatest! Set on each side of the stage, staring at each other, laser lights shoot from their eyes and fire breathes from their mouths at certain times. It's all choreographed in perfect timing. One must be careful, however. I was burned once from the fire when I was not in the right place at the right time!!
For parts of the set, I am on a platform behind one dragon that makes it appear as if I am inside its mouth, or on top of it! I use swords as part of my routine. We have THE most elaborate stage set and routine of ANY rock band that has ever existed... even beating out KISS. Our regular stage show blows their show off the map!!! We are truly, the "bad boys" of symphonic rock/metal.
And we hope to one day make the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame!
Anyway, I certainly didn't expect to be home so soon!! What a disappointment that our manager cancelled the entire tour! C'mon, this is just a bump in the road, but he says "You have not been yourself lately, Dane. Get some rest." Now, what does THAT mean???
I showered and changed and Edna had dinner for me. OMG she had this entire spread! Nothing is a small affair with Edna. My dining room looked like we were having Christmas company. Edna's family stays at the mansion when I am on tour, however, they had gone home when she heard I was coming home early from "exhaustion." Since I was supposed to be on tour no family outings were planned. It was just me, Edna and the animals.
Anyway, I invited Edna to join me since she cooked such a terrific meal. The real reason I wanted her there was because I needed to vent. I told her everything! Of course, she had all these crazy ideas on why I see this image, this illusion if you will, in my mirrors. Home mirrors, fine... But mirrors onstage??? This is too fucked up to understand!
She brought up some past life regression theory. Oh really? Why in hell would I relive a past where I see this ginger-haired woman as a reflection in mirrors my entire life??? Does that sound sane to you?
So, I sent her home early, Not because of her theories, mind you, but because I just needed time to myself.
My 30th birthday is SOON... too soon. On the 24th. Thirty. Why does that seem so old to me?
Wait.... Martha said her brother's birthday was the same day. He looked like me. But he lived in the 1920's. Can't be connected. Weird.
I'm going to bed now..... what is next???
Tuesday, November 25, 2014
Not a Normal Life
It's not like my life has ever been normal. But today pushed the boundaries of that normalcy beyond even my limits. Since the Jag is still laid up, I took the Ferrari out to that new music and book store I told you about previously. Of course, since today was the release of our latest CD, which stupid me forgot because Bruce the slave driver has me working furiously on this new song, I walked into this store unprepared. A storm was brewing. Then I walked in and found my own face right smack in front of me on one of those cardboard displays, but what was worse... the huge TV displaying one of our music videos in concert. Ugh. I generally would disguise myself with brown contacts and my hair up in a baseball cap. All I wanted was a book for Christ's sake. A little time to be a human.
I ran to the back of the store to the History Department. Anyone who knows me knows how I love to read history books. I didn't even think, I just grabbed some leather bound book off the shelf to hide my face. I still felt like I was being watched!
Long story short, this old lady accused me of being dead!! How the hell can I be dead when I am right here?? I guess I resembled some guy she knew back long before I was born! WTF!
After leaving the store, in my car, I thought I saw "her" in the rear view mirror, but when I looked, I saw only myself. Phew.
To make a strange day even stranger, I bought that book and went home to finish working. After being reprimanded for my tardiness on getting this song done, Bruce left. Christ, the tour isn't for another month! And it's a short tour. But Bruce is so on edge because his wife is so close to her due date. He nearly snapped my head off, though, when I mentioned postponing the tour. He wouldn't have it.
I finally was able to relax in my library with my dog and read. What the hell happened after that, I can't explain very well. Words can't compare. I read a passage about some knight way back in the 17th century in England. I got dizzy, and the strangest feelings came over me. I swear I had only one glass of wine. Nothing else!
There's something in my life that is complicated and cannot be explained through rational means. I just do not yet know what it is. The rest is such a blur. Now you know why I feel that I am crazy and keep much of this stuff hidden. I've been lucky the media doesn't find this blog or they'd have a field day. Not that rock stars aren't well known for being nuts, but this is a whole different type of crazy.
Some weird revelation came to me tonight about that knight I read about in the book. But, it must be just my imagination playing tricks, right? I was in my room when it came to me. After, I went down to the kitchen for a glass of wine! Now, it's after 2 am and I need sleep!
Welcome to the bazaar life of Dane!!!
I ran to the back of the store to the History Department. Anyone who knows me knows how I love to read history books. I didn't even think, I just grabbed some leather bound book off the shelf to hide my face. I still felt like I was being watched!
Long story short, this old lady accused me of being dead!! How the hell can I be dead when I am right here?? I guess I resembled some guy she knew back long before I was born! WTF!
After leaving the store, in my car, I thought I saw "her" in the rear view mirror, but when I looked, I saw only myself. Phew.
To make a strange day even stranger, I bought that book and went home to finish working. After being reprimanded for my tardiness on getting this song done, Bruce left. Christ, the tour isn't for another month! And it's a short tour. But Bruce is so on edge because his wife is so close to her due date. He nearly snapped my head off, though, when I mentioned postponing the tour. He wouldn't have it.
I finally was able to relax in my library with my dog and read. What the hell happened after that, I can't explain very well. Words can't compare. I read a passage about some knight way back in the 17th century in England. I got dizzy, and the strangest feelings came over me. I swear I had only one glass of wine. Nothing else!
There's something in my life that is complicated and cannot be explained through rational means. I just do not yet know what it is. The rest is such a blur. Now you know why I feel that I am crazy and keep much of this stuff hidden. I've been lucky the media doesn't find this blog or they'd have a field day. Not that rock stars aren't well known for being nuts, but this is a whole different type of crazy.
Some weird revelation came to me tonight about that knight I read about in the book. But, it must be just my imagination playing tricks, right? I was in my room when it came to me. After, I went down to the kitchen for a glass of wine! Now, it's after 2 am and I need sleep!
Welcome to the bazaar life of Dane!!!
Wednesday, November 19, 2014
The Media Knows More Than Us
You would be surprised at the things that photojournalists capture, particular if you are someone famous. The band has had this week off, getting some good rest in before we go back out on the road in December. As usual Adrian's whereabouts remain a mystery. Everything about our drummer is an enigma, as all of you know.
Time and again, my sexcapades have been published for all to see (even some rather risque photos). Bruce's marriage and accusations of infidelity (all false) fill the tabloids. Stephan also has had more than his share of rumors spread about him. The strawberry blond Southern Boy living life as a sex God rock star! But then we have Adrian. Romian import. Shy. Stays behind his drums and rarely ever lets anyone in, not the media, not even us! His bandmates. He spends more time with us than anyone else. We are on the road together almost all year. He watches movies with us, talks and plays card games, even drinks and smokes weed with us. But never has he revealed anything about his private life. When the drumsticks leave his hands and the tour bus is put away, he is gone. We don't see him unless it's band business. Every now and then he will show up at a party or event, always alone.
Female fans hit on him all the time, but he merely excuses himself and heads off to his dressing room or the bus or hotel room. We have never once seen him take a woman, or even a man, to his room. Never seen him show interest in any gender. He is an enigma and he knows we all want to know. We've always wanted to know what is going on inside that all too feminine looking head of his. He's a great musician, and he says that should be enough. He tells us it is no one's business but his! We often ponder on why he became a professional musician, for his lifestyle is so contradictory to the norm. But he makes it work--somehow! Until now...
It's not much to go on, but a recent photo surfaced on the internet depicting our very own Adrian with his arm around... someone. This photo was taken recently and he is away again on one of his mystery excursions so we cannot contact him. Is this person with him a man or woman? It appears that Adrian sees the camera... is that a sly grin or a sudden realization? How funny is it that I (and the others) are pondering this photo as if we were outsiders with no connection to this guy whatsoever. When he gets back from wherever it is, we will ask him about this photo.
In the meantime, we have many guesses. All of us think this is a guy because Adrian is 5'11" and how many chicks are taller than that? A Model? So... if this is a dude he has his arm around, does that mean Adrian is gay? Or is this a relative and caught in a "brotherly" moment?
I cannot believe I am doing this... writing a blog anyone can see, speculating about my own bandmate and friend. He always says his private life is his own business, and I suppose it is. But to share nothing with us? In ten years? Granted, he is the "baby" of the band. He started with us at age 17... or should I say we started with him, as he and Stephan knew one another before Bruce and I met up with them. And even Stephan, who has known him longest, hasn't a clue to his personal life. He has known Adrian a year before the rest of us and he said he never thought to ask.
What do you think?
Time and again, my sexcapades have been published for all to see (even some rather risque photos). Bruce's marriage and accusations of infidelity (all false) fill the tabloids. Stephan also has had more than his share of rumors spread about him. The strawberry blond Southern Boy living life as a sex God rock star! But then we have Adrian. Romian import. Shy. Stays behind his drums and rarely ever lets anyone in, not the media, not even us! His bandmates. He spends more time with us than anyone else. We are on the road together almost all year. He watches movies with us, talks and plays card games, even drinks and smokes weed with us. But never has he revealed anything about his private life. When the drumsticks leave his hands and the tour bus is put away, he is gone. We don't see him unless it's band business. Every now and then he will show up at a party or event, always alone.
Female fans hit on him all the time, but he merely excuses himself and heads off to his dressing room or the bus or hotel room. We have never once seen him take a woman, or even a man, to his room. Never seen him show interest in any gender. He is an enigma and he knows we all want to know. We've always wanted to know what is going on inside that all too feminine looking head of his. He's a great musician, and he says that should be enough. He tells us it is no one's business but his! We often ponder on why he became a professional musician, for his lifestyle is so contradictory to the norm. But he makes it work--somehow! Until now...
It's not much to go on, but a recent photo surfaced on the internet depicting our very own Adrian with his arm around... someone. This photo was taken recently and he is away again on one of his mystery excursions so we cannot contact him. Is this person with him a man or woman? It appears that Adrian sees the camera... is that a sly grin or a sudden realization? How funny is it that I (and the others) are pondering this photo as if we were outsiders with no connection to this guy whatsoever. When he gets back from wherever it is, we will ask him about this photo.
 |
| Is Adrian mocking our lack of knowledge of his personal life? |
I cannot believe I am doing this... writing a blog anyone can see, speculating about my own bandmate and friend. He always says his private life is his own business, and I suppose it is. But to share nothing with us? In ten years? Granted, he is the "baby" of the band. He started with us at age 17... or should I say we started with him, as he and Stephan knew one another before Bruce and I met up with them. And even Stephan, who has known him longest, hasn't a clue to his personal life. He has known Adrian a year before the rest of us and he said he never thought to ask.
What do you think?
Friday, September 26, 2014
Feeling Empty Without Her
It's 06:45 here in foggy England. I can no longer get back to sleep! I sit here on the floor with this tiny computer on my lap, drinking warm wine from last night and feeling empty inside.
I had slept fairly peacefully, until I was woken by that mother of all urges we all get in the middle of the night.... need to hit the loo.
When I came back out, however, the street lights that shone in my hotel room window revealed movement in the mirror over the dresser, and when I dared to peek, I saw her... Quickly, I snatched a robe off the chair and covered myself. Since when have I ever been shy in front of the ladies? But this one is different. I mean, where does she come from? Why is she there? What does she want? Is she really there at all, or in my mind?
As usual, I couldn't draw my stare away! She was standing in sunlight, which seemed to shine through the mirror and strike me. I could see the reddish glow along my body and even along the top of the dresser, mating with the lights from the window. Very strange. She reached her hand forward and touched the glass.... yet she was not in the room with me... as if looking at me from the other side of a window! I took a step forward and saw a tear in her eye, and why this moved me so much I still can't explain.
She was there perhaps a minute and then her image flickered and faded away. I realized I had been holding my breath! As I released it out, I felt dizzy so I slumped onto the floor, the robe in my lap. After a few moments, I grabbed this little computer and started to write this entry. Just had to get this out! My brain is boggled. I just want to sleep and feel normal again.
I had slept fairly peacefully, until I was woken by that mother of all urges we all get in the middle of the night.... need to hit the loo.
When I came back out, however, the street lights that shone in my hotel room window revealed movement in the mirror over the dresser, and when I dared to peek, I saw her... Quickly, I snatched a robe off the chair and covered myself. Since when have I ever been shy in front of the ladies? But this one is different. I mean, where does she come from? Why is she there? What does she want? Is she really there at all, or in my mind?
As usual, I couldn't draw my stare away! She was standing in sunlight, which seemed to shine through the mirror and strike me. I could see the reddish glow along my body and even along the top of the dresser, mating with the lights from the window. Very strange. She reached her hand forward and touched the glass.... yet she was not in the room with me... as if looking at me from the other side of a window! I took a step forward and saw a tear in her eye, and why this moved me so much I still can't explain.
She was there perhaps a minute and then her image flickered and faded away. I realized I had been holding my breath! As I released it out, I felt dizzy so I slumped onto the floor, the robe in my lap. After a few moments, I grabbed this little computer and started to write this entry. Just had to get this out! My brain is boggled. I just want to sleep and feel normal again.
Thursday, September 25, 2014
Belgian Beauties
We're in Belgium now, half way through our European tour. I absolutely love Belgian women. They come in all different shapes, sizes, colors and flavors. Yum. Nothing like waking up to one of those.
Next up on the tour... Austria! Who will be my conquest there?
On the other hand.... I have a bottle of wine. No, seriously.... My hotel room has these big mirrors, and everyone knows I try to avoid them as much as possible... in case I see "her." No, not HER in the photo above (she was fun to SEE)... her! The Mirror Lady. Yes, I am insane... so arrest me for it already, but stop talking about it. The media has so much fun with it, so I play around with them.
(media) "It is rumored that you're schizophrenic."
"Yes, I see a woman... No, I am not schizo."
"Does she follow you around?"
"I'm a rock star... women follow me everywhere.."
Silence. And then...
"But those women are real. Do you see fake women?"
"Every time I go into a clothing store. They model clothing."
Flushed. "No, I meant women who are not really there."
"In a clothing store? I think Tinkerbell goes to the doll section to get her knickers."
Sighing, "Mr. Bainbridge, why do you hate mirrors?"
"Because they reflect images."
(by this time the reporter is so off his or her roster, they just ask whatever comes to mind). "So...um... you see the image of women in mirrors?"
"If there are women at parties, and there are mirrors, and I look, I see them."
"But... don't you see women in mirrors that are not there?"
"It's very difficult to see anyone in a mirror if the mirror is not there."
(by this time they've discovered their mistake)
"Err..Um... I meant do you see women that are not really there reflected in mirrors?"
"Not women, no."
"Men?"
"Just myself."
"One woman?"
"I love all women! As long as they're gorgeous and will sleep with me..!"
Usually, around this point, they start talking music and about the band..! hahaha
Don't you hate when you sleep with some gorgeous fashion model and she snaps a photo as you wake up?
Saturday, September 6, 2014
Bonjour Mes Amis
Hello friends. We are here in "Gay Parie" to play the Stade de France. I feel as if my hand might fall off, as I must have signed 1,000 photos of myself at a press conference and meet yesterday!
I practically live in hotel rooms and I can't stand them. Too many mirrors and they're always too big. Like, what's with the steroidal bathroom mirrors in hotels? Pretty hard to cover up and impossible to avoid, even when taking a piss! I am always so afraid my "Mirror Lady" will visit me when I have my penis in my hand. LOL Fortunately, that has not yet happened.
Visited Le Catacombes today. Rarely do I get to do "touristy" stuff when on the road, but since we have a few days here, and jet lag still has me in its grasp (it's 7:17am and I have yet to go to sleep... still on South Carolina time, where it's 1:17am), I decided to be a tourist. Of course, this happens to be their busy season and hundreds of people all waiting to go on down, with a 4 hour wait time did not cut it for me. This is where being famous and rich has its advantages. I was able to buy some time alone in the "tunnels" with the dead! They tried to make me wait until Monday when they are closed to the general public, but we will be in Germany by then!
So, being down in the catacombes gave me time to think. Like for instance, why am I not more upset about my break up with Jess? I miss her, yes. I miss the time we shared together. I miss riding the horses together and watching movies, things like that...ordinary things ordinary people do. My estate is so vast to be alone all the time. Unlike Bruce, who has a wife and a baby on the way. Yet, though I miss her, I do not grieve that she has gone. What does that say? I loved her, but was never IN love with her. Instead I am...what? In love with a delusion in some mirror? Perhaps that explains the note she left me. Well, it's almost 8:00 in the morning and we have a busy evening, so I suppose I should at least try to get a bit of sleep. au revoir for now.
I practically live in hotel rooms and I can't stand them. Too many mirrors and they're always too big. Like, what's with the steroidal bathroom mirrors in hotels? Pretty hard to cover up and impossible to avoid, even when taking a piss! I am always so afraid my "Mirror Lady" will visit me when I have my penis in my hand. LOL Fortunately, that has not yet happened.
Visited Le Catacombes today. Rarely do I get to do "touristy" stuff when on the road, but since we have a few days here, and jet lag still has me in its grasp (it's 7:17am and I have yet to go to sleep... still on South Carolina time, where it's 1:17am), I decided to be a tourist. Of course, this happens to be their busy season and hundreds of people all waiting to go on down, with a 4 hour wait time did not cut it for me. This is where being famous and rich has its advantages. I was able to buy some time alone in the "tunnels" with the dead! They tried to make me wait until Monday when they are closed to the general public, but we will be in Germany by then!
So, being down in the catacombes gave me time to think. Like for instance, why am I not more upset about my break up with Jess? I miss her, yes. I miss the time we shared together. I miss riding the horses together and watching movies, things like that...ordinary things ordinary people do. My estate is so vast to be alone all the time. Unlike Bruce, who has a wife and a baby on the way. Yet, though I miss her, I do not grieve that she has gone. What does that say? I loved her, but was never IN love with her. Instead I am...what? In love with a delusion in some mirror? Perhaps that explains the note she left me. Well, it's almost 8:00 in the morning and we have a busy evening, so I suppose I should at least try to get a bit of sleep. au revoir for now.
Wednesday, August 27, 2014
Heartbreak!
Jessica left me tonight! I feel such an ache in my heart yet I understand her reasons for doing so... Such a terrible day! The band's been arguing, so much going on before our tour.... Then I come home to catch her with a man. She said he was her cousin! Yeah right. Without
saying a word, I walked away and went upstairs. Jessica came up a short time later.
So many question, so few answers. I lose myself in wine and music now!
September 1st we go to Europe to start the next leg of our tour. Then, back to the USA in November for a few more gigs. Home at the end of December. Hopefully, this will keep my mind off Jess.
Funny thing is, here I am, world renowned, famous rock star, women want me, yet I have never felt more alone. Having delusions my entire life (that have yet to be diagnosed despite all the best therapists) doesn't help. The note Jess left me... all about mirrors, about the "Mirror Lady" and about seeing myself. I keep reading it, trying to understand what it all means.
I read about the suicide of comedian Robin Williams. He was one of my favorite comedic actors. Now I feel as if I understand why he killed himself! I have my music, but where is it going? I have all the money I could ever want or need! I have done it all at a young age, but what do I really have? Meaningless sexcapades? Now, no one waiting for me to come home! I fear gazing into any mirror.... she confuses me. Yet I feel deeply. Something is there! She's a mere delusion. Nothing! A figment of my messed up mind.
I've been having nightmares lately... the few times I do sleep. Usually I am struggling in them, on the edge of death yet somehow hanging on! Yet I wake wondering. Why hang on? Life is too confusing! But I won't give up yet. People look up to me, though why I do not know. I am a public figure. I need to be an inspiration! You haven't a clue the pressure that puts on a person!
“What's
wrong?” she asked calmly.
“Where
is he?"
I sat on the bed, staring at the door.
“He
left. I told him we needed to talk.”
“There's
nothing to say!”
She
approached me and sat about two feet away. "Dane, I’ve never
seen you like this."
I stood quickly and turned to her. “And I've never seen you with
another man before!”
She
rose as well. "I told you he was my cousin. You don't believe
me?"
"Frankly.
No!”
“How
dare you!” she screamed in my face. “This coming from a man who
screws every woman he meets!”
What sucks most? I slapped her. I've never hit a woman and never fathomed it.
She left a note on my mirror, the mirror in my bedroom on the antique bureau.... I am feeling so confused right now, and the 3 bottles of wine I have consumed in the last hour have taken their toll. The note is an enigma; something about looking beyond the mirror to see who I really am. Whatever that means!
Perhaps she was tired of my "Mirror Lady," whom I have seen several times this month! Perhaps it was the women she has found photos and videos of... ones recently "conquered," as I call it? What do I do now? Did I love her? I can't answer that question. Life is very complicated. Relationships even more so!
So many question, so few answers. I lose myself in wine and music now!
September 1st we go to Europe to start the next leg of our tour. Then, back to the USA in November for a few more gigs. Home at the end of December. Hopefully, this will keep my mind off Jess.
Funny thing is, here I am, world renowned, famous rock star, women want me, yet I have never felt more alone. Having delusions my entire life (that have yet to be diagnosed despite all the best therapists) doesn't help. The note Jess left me... all about mirrors, about the "Mirror Lady" and about seeing myself. I keep reading it, trying to understand what it all means.
I read about the suicide of comedian Robin Williams. He was one of my favorite comedic actors. Now I feel as if I understand why he killed himself! I have my music, but where is it going? I have all the money I could ever want or need! I have done it all at a young age, but what do I really have? Meaningless sexcapades? Now, no one waiting for me to come home! I fear gazing into any mirror.... she confuses me. Yet I feel deeply. Something is there! She's a mere delusion. Nothing! A figment of my messed up mind.
I've been having nightmares lately... the few times I do sleep. Usually I am struggling in them, on the edge of death yet somehow hanging on! Yet I wake wondering. Why hang on? Life is too confusing! But I won't give up yet. People look up to me, though why I do not know. I am a public figure. I need to be an inspiration! You haven't a clue the pressure that puts on a person!
Friday, June 20, 2014
Beyond Every Mirror I See Her
It's hot here in South Carolina. Not that that's unique. Right now it's almost 3am, a steamy night, and I'm not home. I finally figured out how to do this blog thing on my phone.
Anyway I think I screwed up. I am truly deficient when it comes to matters of the heart. There was a party tonight and of course I went to it. Jess is still in Europe. Needless to say there was a plethora of women. The last one just left, so I'm feeling quite satisfied. I'm in the guest bedroom. I'd usually let the young lady or ladies spend the night (love all those naked warm bodies), but I decided to sleep alone tonight. ... out of respect for Jessica. She's the only lady I fall asleep and wake up with. What difference does it make what happened in between? She's the one who lives in my house and shares my bed at home... a privilege many many women would kill for.
I got up to hit the head and when I came back I saw another reflection on the mirror on the other side of the room. God damn it all! I threw on the first thing I found...a pair of cotton lounge pants and a t shirt. I guess I'll sleep in this tonight. What if she returns? There are several mirrors in this room and even if it is dark and I am asleep I feel her. I dream of her. I know she's there. Though I am accustomed to her presence, it can at times be disturbing. I'm not even home. What is this? Is she beyond every mirror in the world?
Sorry, I'm all tied up right now....
Anyway I think I screwed up. I am truly deficient when it comes to matters of the heart. There was a party tonight and of course I went to it. Jess is still in Europe. Needless to say there was a plethora of women. The last one just left, so I'm feeling quite satisfied. I'm in the guest bedroom. I'd usually let the young lady or ladies spend the night (love all those naked warm bodies), but I decided to sleep alone tonight. ... out of respect for Jessica. She's the only lady I fall asleep and wake up with. What difference does it make what happened in between? She's the one who lives in my house and shares my bed at home... a privilege many many women would kill for.
I got up to hit the head and when I came back I saw another reflection on the mirror on the other side of the room. God damn it all! I threw on the first thing I found...a pair of cotton lounge pants and a t shirt. I guess I'll sleep in this tonight. What if she returns? There are several mirrors in this room and even if it is dark and I am asleep I feel her. I dream of her. I know she's there. Though I am accustomed to her presence, it can at times be disturbing. I'm not even home. What is this? Is she beyond every mirror in the world?
Sorry, I'm all tied up right now....
Sunday, March 9, 2014
Dazed and Confused
Wow! What happened? I saw the Mirror lady again last night, late. Not sure what time. That always fucks with my brain, so I decided to go out. I drove to Atlanta (yeah, Georgia) and went bar-hopping. This is highly unlike me. I almost always get recognized and end up signing autographs and talking to a bunch of fans rather than just relaxing alone or picking up women anonymously.
And here, I drive my freaking Ferrari out to Atlanta of all places! I ended up at some fancy joint called Halo.
I actually had quite the time. As I sat there, sipping away at a Slippery Nipple, I saw a table with these two pretty ladies staring at me, so I went over. I bought them drinks and sat to chat. After a couple hours, I asked if they wanted to get out of there and they agreed.
I couldn't fit both of them in my car! I wasn't about to bring them home... too far, and Jess was home. So, I followed them to one of their homes.
Have you ever had wild sex with two women at once? Not my first time, but damn these GA Peaches had talents. They could get into positions I didn't think possible... apparently, they're both dancers...exotic dancers.
Ok... try doing one as the other gets into this wild gymnastic-like position above her friend, so her... not sure I can use the word here.... is in your face! And after, they switched. They put to shame almost all the other women I've been with! They performed moves I didn't think possible. I believe these two read the Kama Sutra... and memorized it!! Add in plenty of booze and weed=perfect night.
Turns out, they did know who I am, but didn't want to make me uncomfortable by mentioning it. I thank them for that! Crazy night. Not sure if they invited me to stay or not, but I fell asleep (or passed out) in the bed and woke to find them on either side of me... Ahhh flesh to flesh! And more fun once we were all awake. Insatiable women are the best! Then, they made me breakfast as well!
Sex, wild sex, and even more sex, plus breakfast. It gets no better than this my friends.
Let's just say Jess was not happy when I arrived home at noon in the same clothes I left in.... I think she suspects. She knew I didn't have band practice last night, so I told her I went to Stephan's for the night. He'll back me up!
I recommend a night like that to all males out there!! It'll cure whatever may ail you. Made me forget all about the Mirror Lady! Bliss, to be able to forget my crazy delusions for a night instead of letting them drag me down as they generally do.
And here, I drive my freaking Ferrari out to Atlanta of all places! I ended up at some fancy joint called Halo.
I actually had quite the time. As I sat there, sipping away at a Slippery Nipple, I saw a table with these two pretty ladies staring at me, so I went over. I bought them drinks and sat to chat. After a couple hours, I asked if they wanted to get out of there and they agreed.
I couldn't fit both of them in my car! I wasn't about to bring them home... too far, and Jess was home. So, I followed them to one of their homes.
Have you ever had wild sex with two women at once? Not my first time, but damn these GA Peaches had talents. They could get into positions I didn't think possible... apparently, they're both dancers...exotic dancers.
Ok... try doing one as the other gets into this wild gymnastic-like position above her friend, so her... not sure I can use the word here.... is in your face! And after, they switched. They put to shame almost all the other women I've been with! They performed moves I didn't think possible. I believe these two read the Kama Sutra... and memorized it!! Add in plenty of booze and weed=perfect night.
Turns out, they did know who I am, but didn't want to make me uncomfortable by mentioning it. I thank them for that! Crazy night. Not sure if they invited me to stay or not, but I fell asleep (or passed out) in the bed and woke to find them on either side of me... Ahhh flesh to flesh! And more fun once we were all awake. Insatiable women are the best! Then, they made me breakfast as well!
Sex, wild sex, and even more sex, plus breakfast. It gets no better than this my friends.
Let's just say Jess was not happy when I arrived home at noon in the same clothes I left in.... I think she suspects. She knew I didn't have band practice last night, so I told her I went to Stephan's for the night. He'll back me up!
I recommend a night like that to all males out there!! It'll cure whatever may ail you. Made me forget all about the Mirror Lady! Bliss, to be able to forget my crazy delusions for a night instead of letting them drag me down as they generally do.
Sunday, February 23, 2014
Communication and its Necessity
So... I had a long talk with Jessica today. I explained to her that what I said was the truth. I really do see this Mirror Lady.... it's random, but it's been happening my entire life. Maybe I am mentally ill, I don't know. But when I see her, I can't control the emotions. I become lost and confused. I feel things I am not accustomed to feeling.
She forgave me last night's discrepancy. I can't blame her for having trouble understanding. Would you? I took her out for a fancy dinner so we could talk in public, over a nice setting. I was so nervous, I could barely eat. I really like Jess, and want her to be happy.
I swore to her it is all true. I am still not sure if she believes me or not. She said she believed that I believed it... isn't that a euphemism for "I don't really believe you, I think you are nuts"???
Since we arrived home, I have had 3 bottles of wine and 2 slippery nipples. I know.... I drink too much. Kinda hard to avoid when you see one woman in your mirrors and a "real" women is right there in front of you...ready to have a life with you. I feel like I am being torn in 2 directions. Ripped in half. Trust me, it is not a good feeling.
It will be nice to get away on tour and leave all this bullshit behind me. Plenty of women on tour... None that have expectations beyond the carnal!
She forgave me last night's discrepancy. I can't blame her for having trouble understanding. Would you? I took her out for a fancy dinner so we could talk in public, over a nice setting. I was so nervous, I could barely eat. I really like Jess, and want her to be happy.
I swore to her it is all true. I am still not sure if she believes me or not. She said she believed that I believed it... isn't that a euphemism for "I don't really believe you, I think you are nuts"???
Since we arrived home, I have had 3 bottles of wine and 2 slippery nipples. I know.... I drink too much. Kinda hard to avoid when you see one woman in your mirrors and a "real" women is right there in front of you...ready to have a life with you. I feel like I am being torn in 2 directions. Ripped in half. Trust me, it is not a good feeling.
It will be nice to get away on tour and leave all this bullshit behind me. Plenty of women on tour... None that have expectations beyond the carnal!
Friday, February 21, 2014
In Trouble with the Gal
What is it with women? I think I am in trouble with Jess. It's really not my fault. After rehearsals and 10 hours of work preparing for the Spring Tour, I was absolutely exhausted. I came home and just wanted a bit of rest, a reprieve. Jess had dinner made (I guess Edna has been teaching her my favorite dishes, but unfortunately there was no tuna sandwich available)... Speaking of tuna and off the topic a bit... have you ever ridden Amtrak trains? I kid you not, they have the BEST tuna sandwiches on the planet!!
Anyway, I went into the bathroom off the den (one of the few rooms with a mirror). I was washing my face and hands... and when I looked up... Well, let's just say SHE was there. No not Jess. HER!! I couldn't stop staring. She has such amazing long auburn hair and hypnotic amber eyes. I have just never seen anyone like her. I felt like I wanted to leap into the mirror and grab her!
Needless to say, by the time her image faded, I was enthralled beyond words. And no longer hungry. I grabbed a bottle of wine from the fridge, sat in front of the fireplace in the den and drank.
Jessica came in to let me know dinner was ready, but... well, I was full.... with wine. Oh she was so angry. I must have been a bit drunk because, for all intense and purposes, I told her my secret. The whole thing!! Boy, was she pissed off! She stormed off and I have not seen her since.
So, tell me, what is it with women? I was honest! So, why is she mad at me?
I guess that means more left overs in the fridge.
Anyway, I went into the bathroom off the den (one of the few rooms with a mirror). I was washing my face and hands... and when I looked up... Well, let's just say SHE was there. No not Jess. HER!! I couldn't stop staring. She has such amazing long auburn hair and hypnotic amber eyes. I have just never seen anyone like her. I felt like I wanted to leap into the mirror and grab her!
Needless to say, by the time her image faded, I was enthralled beyond words. And no longer hungry. I grabbed a bottle of wine from the fridge, sat in front of the fireplace in the den and drank.
Jessica came in to let me know dinner was ready, but... well, I was full.... with wine. Oh she was so angry. I must have been a bit drunk because, for all intense and purposes, I told her my secret. The whole thing!! Boy, was she pissed off! She stormed off and I have not seen her since.
So, tell me, what is it with women? I was honest! So, why is she mad at me?
I guess that means more left overs in the fridge.
Saturday, January 18, 2014
Pre-Tour and Band Pranks
Sorry for the long wait in writing. The band is busy with our "pre-tour." Everyone knows by now that Bruce, the born-again buzz kill, has banned fans from our tour bus! At least when he is in it. ha ha.
Anyway, as we cruise down 64 in West Virginia, by now all the other band members are asleep, I have a bit of a story to tell you all, my great and loyal fans. Yeah, ok, so I have had a few drinks. Trust me, it gets me through and helps me sleep. At least I avoid drugs, like Meth or Heroin. What's wrong with a couple Slippery Nipples (haha, I can think of some damn good things I can do with nipples)....?
Yesterday, after we finished with our small concert (which, by the way got a raving reception. Our new songs are getting grand reviews), and headed back out on the road (sometimes these "pre-tours" (Bruce's idea) can be more pain-staking than the real thing... we don't stay, we don't stop). It's rather like touring when we were a small band trying to make our way in music. Grueling!
Anyway, I decided since Bruce was remaining in the venue to go over some instrumentals and choral review with the others, I'd slip back to the tour bus with the latest hottie I met at the concert. I tend to like dark hair, unlike most who love the bleached blondes. I like all natural (no fake boobs, thank you). She seemed nice enough. Her name.... oh damn, I can't remember.
Anyway, I decided since Bruce was remaining in the venue to go over some instrumentals and choral review with the others, I'd slip back to the tour bus with the latest hottie I met at the concert. I tend to like dark hair, unlike most who love the bleached blondes. I like all natural (no fake boobs, thank you). She seemed nice enough. Her name.... oh damn, I can't remember.
Anyway, I brought her to my bunk, intending on a bit of "release" after the concert when I saw something on my bunk that was not mine. Adrian's damn technological reading machine called a "Kindle." It was on and open to some book about a whore of 80's rock.... open to the chapter on this 15 year old chick losing her virginity in 1980 to Billy Squire.A quick peak told me this girl had screwed just about ever musician in the 1980's.
Kinda put a damper on my evening. I don't know yet what Adrian was trying to prove. I tossed the reading machine back in HIS bunk and had a really good time with... oh damn....what was her name...?
Once back on the road, Adrian explained to me that this book had reminded him of me on the road... any girl at any "port." I told him I was fine and needed no intervention. My sex life was just fine, thank you. It was then he reminded me of Jessica. She and I had hit it off pretty well and we were, well, dating. But, she wasn't there and I saw no reason not to indulge. We weren't married after all.
Would you say no??
Sunday, December 29, 2013
Dazed and Confused
I feel like a page from a Led Zeppelin memoir. "Dazed and confused for so long it's not true..." What is true and what is delusion? "Wanted a woman, never bargained for you..." So, who did I bargain for? Jessica, whose company I enjoy, who is music to my eyes... Or HER... the mystery woman who seems to grasp hold of my heart as well as my sanity every time I see her?
I saw her again today. I really have to learn to avoid mirrors more, but it's rather hard to shave and groom oneself without that stupid reflective piece of glass!
I wasn't even home this time, however. I was with the band, recording at a studio in Charleston. I went to the little boy's room and when I was washing my hands, I looked up into the mirror.
"Aw Fresh Hell!!"
She looked beautiful. Not that exotic, big breasted beautiful like Jessica. Actually, this lady, who seems as familiar to me as seeing myself, is plain in comparison. But her extraordinary long auburn hair hung in a single braid pulled to the front and she wore a blue tunic that looked like something from a Documentary on the Middle Ages. It was belted tight over a very slender waist. As a matter of fact, she is quite petite. But, every time I see her, I am lost. I am gone. I cease to exist. I have no idea who I become, but it's not the me I am accustomed to seeing.
So, now, I have Jessica, a physical flesh and blood woman I seem to be hitting it off with quite well, and then this... delusion? But how can a man feel for a delusion? All I know is that I have some thinking to do. I don't quite know what it is I need to think about, but the confusion in my mind and the tornado of emotion running through me tell me I cannot just let this go.
Wish me luck!
I saw her again today. I really have to learn to avoid mirrors more, but it's rather hard to shave and groom oneself without that stupid reflective piece of glass!
I wasn't even home this time, however. I was with the band, recording at a studio in Charleston. I went to the little boy's room and when I was washing my hands, I looked up into the mirror.
"Aw Fresh Hell!!"
She looked beautiful. Not that exotic, big breasted beautiful like Jessica. Actually, this lady, who seems as familiar to me as seeing myself, is plain in comparison. But her extraordinary long auburn hair hung in a single braid pulled to the front and she wore a blue tunic that looked like something from a Documentary on the Middle Ages. It was belted tight over a very slender waist. As a matter of fact, she is quite petite. But, every time I see her, I am lost. I am gone. I cease to exist. I have no idea who I become, but it's not the me I am accustomed to seeing.
So, now, I have Jessica, a physical flesh and blood woman I seem to be hitting it off with quite well, and then this... delusion? But how can a man feel for a delusion? All I know is that I have some thinking to do. I don't quite know what it is I need to think about, but the confusion in my mind and the tornado of emotion running through me tell me I cannot just let this go.
Wish me luck!
Wednesday, December 4, 2013
My new car and other things
As sit here alone in this huge house (which seems so much bigger after spending a few days in my parent's modest Cape), I can hear the rain tapping on the windows. I had an interesting time visiting CT over the holiday. I am not sure I will be able to make it up there for Christmas, as the band is going to be very busy recording and getting ready to go on tour.
My new car will be coming Thursday! I'm really excited. She's a beauty!
Yet, for some reason the rain is drawing out my melancholy. I have a glass of sweet red wine sitting here beside me and if I smoked, I would probably be having a cigarette. I quit smoking 5 years ago because it was affecting the quality of my voice. Friends of my family's have died from lung cancer, an absolutely terrible and debilitating way to pass. Though I was never a heavy smoker (ie, never more than a half pack a day). I do on occasion indulge in a "social cigarette."
Tomorrow I have to drive two and a half hours to Bruce's place on the shore and his home studio so we can go over some tracks. I am going to have to get up early and finish the song I have been working on or I will hear it from Bruce.
Well, it's already midnight here on the east coast of the USA, so I think it's time to head off to my beloved bedchamber (I seem to have picked up that word lately and I don't know where it came from. Maybe I read too many history books), get undressed and fall asleep to the pitter patter of rain drops.
I will talk to you soon, my fans and friends. Have a very good evening. I will leave you with a photo of one of my cats.
Sunday, December 1, 2013
No regrets?
This weekend was a very strange one. I stayed with my parents in CT for the holiday weekend. While out running an errand for my mother Saturday afternoon, I was standing in line at the convenience store. I should mention going out in public can be a hassle, even in the small town where I grew up--especially in the small town. Everyone knows everyone!
Anyway, I had my hair tied back, a baseball cap on my head (Red Sox of course), sunglasses and a full winter jacket with the collar pulled up. While I waited in line with bread and milk for my mother, I heard someone behind me clear their throat. I didn't turn around. I wasn't even sure it wasn't an actual throat clearing.
Then I heard a female voice. "Dane?" Oh boy! Though she did not sound like a fan. They generally address me as, "Oh my GOD, you're Dane Bainbridge!"
I turned around. Behind me stood a very pretty blonde. Even beneath her bulky winter clothes, I could see she was quite fit. I prefer brunettes, or red heads to blondes (unless they are real blondes). I smiled. "Hello."
"You don't recognize me," she said and a frown did not look good on her pretty face.
Uh oh! I had to search my memory and fast. I meet so many women, I cannot be expected to remember them all, can I?
"It's me," she said, "Tracy!"
Tracy... Tracy... Hmm... Holy crap! THE Tracy? I had not seen her since I was 18 years old. I had been dating her best friend, who coincidentally, happened to be named Traci but with an "i." Tracy was one of many regrets I had in life. Though I loved Traci, she was average, a little bit overweight, and I didn't have the highest confidence back then (what man who is delusional and sees people in mirrors would be?) Okay, forget I said that!
In any event, fantasies of Tracy got me through many a night, whether I was in bed with Traci, or alone. I may sound shallow, and maybe I am, but looks matter to me. I think they matter to everyone to some extent, but most people aren't willing to admit it. And so my girlfriend's best friend became my "food for fodder" so to speak.
Long story short, after we paid for our items, we stood outside the convenience store in the cold, damp air and talked. It turns out, she felt the same about me. I confessed my "sin" of wanting so badly to... fu*& her. But I felt she was too good for me. Now, she admitted felt the same about me, but didn't want to hurt her best friend (who, incidentally, she no longer has much contact with).
But it was too late now. She was married, loyally, and had 2 children. We parted ways with regret in our hearts for a past that could have been, but was gone now never to return.
Needless to say, my next stop was the liquor store and I spent last night getting drunk and trying not to think about what I could have had.
Is there a moral to this story? I guess there is, but it's for you to figure out what's the moral in your own life.
Oh look at me, Dane the philosopher.
Anyway, I had my hair tied back, a baseball cap on my head (Red Sox of course), sunglasses and a full winter jacket with the collar pulled up. While I waited in line with bread and milk for my mother, I heard someone behind me clear their throat. I didn't turn around. I wasn't even sure it wasn't an actual throat clearing.
Then I heard a female voice. "Dane?" Oh boy! Though she did not sound like a fan. They generally address me as, "Oh my GOD, you're Dane Bainbridge!"
I turned around. Behind me stood a very pretty blonde. Even beneath her bulky winter clothes, I could see she was quite fit. I prefer brunettes, or red heads to blondes (unless they are real blondes). I smiled. "Hello."
"You don't recognize me," she said and a frown did not look good on her pretty face.
Uh oh! I had to search my memory and fast. I meet so many women, I cannot be expected to remember them all, can I?
"It's me," she said, "Tracy!"
Tracy... Tracy... Hmm... Holy crap! THE Tracy? I had not seen her since I was 18 years old. I had been dating her best friend, who coincidentally, happened to be named Traci but with an "i." Tracy was one of many regrets I had in life. Though I loved Traci, she was average, a little bit overweight, and I didn't have the highest confidence back then (what man who is delusional and sees people in mirrors would be?) Okay, forget I said that!
In any event, fantasies of Tracy got me through many a night, whether I was in bed with Traci, or alone. I may sound shallow, and maybe I am, but looks matter to me. I think they matter to everyone to some extent, but most people aren't willing to admit it. And so my girlfriend's best friend became my "food for fodder" so to speak.
Long story short, after we paid for our items, we stood outside the convenience store in the cold, damp air and talked. It turns out, she felt the same about me. I confessed my "sin" of wanting so badly to... fu*& her. But I felt she was too good for me. Now, she admitted felt the same about me, but didn't want to hurt her best friend (who, incidentally, she no longer has much contact with).
But it was too late now. She was married, loyally, and had 2 children. We parted ways with regret in our hearts for a past that could have been, but was gone now never to return.
Needless to say, my next stop was the liquor store and I spent last night getting drunk and trying not to think about what I could have had.
Is there a moral to this story? I guess there is, but it's for you to figure out what's the moral in your own life.
Oh look at me, Dane the philosopher.
Friday, November 29, 2013
Black Friday!
They call today "Black Friday." I'm not really sure why. The color black usually refers to a negative presence, like Satan and other evil mythological creatures.. Though, I wear a black stage costume as opposed to my band mates who wear variations of white. I'm the dark, they are the mist.
Anyway, it was a wonderful Thanksgiving with my parents.Until about a half hour ago, when I showered, and then was looking in the mirror to brush my teeth and SHE appeared. I want to say that I just drank a whole bottle of wine, but that's not what caused this illusion... the wine is because I DID see her! I saw her, I started to drink. Nice thing about this holiday, there's always wine! Christmas always carries with it spiced Egg Nog.
I don't tell anyone this, but since I do not advertise this blog, I am sure no one will see it. Not right away anyway.
Maybe this is the booze talking... but, I have a confession to make. I think it's called a delusion or hallucination. I have been seeing her in mirrors since I was ... well, I think since I was born. At least that is what it feels like. When you look into a mirror, do you see someone who is not there? Schizophrenia?
Yeah, ok... crazy rock star here. The drink makes me handle it better. Don't over-judge me. People tend to do that. I spend a goodly amount in the company of many people... all types of people. I have earned the right to judge. Yet, I can't say a bad word about my fans. If it were not for them, I wouldn't be where I am now. Yes, I drink. But, what would YOU do if you were delusional from birth and needed to hide it from public view? Is this what they call 'mental illness' or am I "special?"
Anyway, I did no work today. Vacation and all. If it is possible for a musician to NOT work! We always have songs in our head, ideas filtering about in there. I go everywhere with a notepad for writing lyrics that come into my head. I also have a recorder in case I have a tune in mind. Eventually, it becomes a song.
Back to this Black Friday... If you think I will be standing in those stores at the wee hours, just to snag a few bucks' deal, you're crazier than I am. And that is crazy! ha ha!
Night all!
Anyway, it was a wonderful Thanksgiving with my parents.Until about a half hour ago, when I showered, and then was looking in the mirror to brush my teeth and SHE appeared. I want to say that I just drank a whole bottle of wine, but that's not what caused this illusion... the wine is because I DID see her! I saw her, I started to drink. Nice thing about this holiday, there's always wine! Christmas always carries with it spiced Egg Nog.
I don't tell anyone this, but since I do not advertise this blog, I am sure no one will see it. Not right away anyway.
Maybe this is the booze talking... but, I have a confession to make. I think it's called a delusion or hallucination. I have been seeing her in mirrors since I was ... well, I think since I was born. At least that is what it feels like. When you look into a mirror, do you see someone who is not there? Schizophrenia?
Yeah, ok... crazy rock star here. The drink makes me handle it better. Don't over-judge me. People tend to do that. I spend a goodly amount in the company of many people... all types of people. I have earned the right to judge. Yet, I can't say a bad word about my fans. If it were not for them, I wouldn't be where I am now. Yes, I drink. But, what would YOU do if you were delusional from birth and needed to hide it from public view? Is this what they call 'mental illness' or am I "special?"
Anyway, I did no work today. Vacation and all. If it is possible for a musician to NOT work! We always have songs in our head, ideas filtering about in there. I go everywhere with a notepad for writing lyrics that come into my head. I also have a recorder in case I have a tune in mind. Eventually, it becomes a song.
Back to this Black Friday... If you think I will be standing in those stores at the wee hours, just to snag a few bucks' deal, you're crazier than I am. And that is crazy! ha ha!
Night all!
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